julien
@procainamide.bsky.social
he/they | 27 | eng/esp | american paramedic and freelance illustrator (sometimes) | mostly shitposts
unironically told a little old demented lady “they hate to see a girlboss winning” when she was arguing with me on the stretcher yesterday and she stopped arguing and told me she liked me
December 31, 2025 at 1:58 PM
unironically told a little old demented lady “they hate to see a girlboss winning” when she was arguing with me on the stretcher yesterday and she stopped arguing and told me she liked me
when people ask me “how was your Christmas?” I never know how to poignantly say “I drove in a big bus with two guys for 12 hours and flirted with multiple meemaws while I put tubes into them” so I just say “good!”
December 26, 2025 at 3:27 PM
when people ask me “how was your Christmas?” I never know how to poignantly say “I drove in a big bus with two guys for 12 hours and flirted with multiple meemaws while I put tubes into them” so I just say “good!”
me seeing gore daily in my job versus me watching the divinity trailer
December 14, 2025 at 2:58 PM
me seeing gore daily in my job versus me watching the divinity trailer
so I have asthma (newly diagnosed) but now my partner has noticed every time I get wheezy and goes “get your inhaler” and then I stomp my feet and go grab it making my asthma exacerbation worse
December 10, 2025 at 7:57 PM
so I have asthma (newly diagnosed) but now my partner has noticed every time I get wheezy and goes “get your inhaler” and then I stomp my feet and go grab it making my asthma exacerbation worse
why am I getting urethral sound ads on my tiktok
November 12, 2025 at 6:11 PM
why am I getting urethral sound ads on my tiktok
she Jimmy on my John while I’m in a pickle
November 11, 2025 at 1:39 AM
she Jimmy on my John while I’m in a pickle
partner and I adopted a THIRD cat that sucks
November 1, 2025 at 2:31 AM
partner and I adopted a THIRD cat that sucks
THEY’RE MAKING THE MCAT TRANSGENDER
November 1, 2025 at 2:29 AM
THEY’RE MAKING THE MCAT TRANSGENDER
the esterification of sugar molecules is kind of like transitioning genders
November 1, 2025 at 2:24 AM
the esterification of sugar molecules is kind of like transitioning genders
September 30, 2025 at 2:48 AM
yall know how people just draw snoopy in situations?
eraserhead baby is my snoopy
eraserhead baby is my snoopy
September 29, 2025 at 6:42 AM
yall know how people just draw snoopy in situations?
eraserhead baby is my snoopy
eraserhead baby is my snoopy
September 29, 2025 at 6:30 AM
Wife’s dad disowned me because I’m an Eagles fan
September 15, 2025 at 5:50 AM
Wife’s dad disowned me because I’m an Eagles fan
I am a 27 year old male how did I end up with SNAPCHAT on my phone???
September 15, 2025 at 5:46 AM
I am a 27 year old male how did I end up with SNAPCHAT on my phone???
My little cuddle buddy
August 25, 2025 at 8:24 PM
My little cuddle buddy
“the ole ball and chain, am I right boys?” I say to the crowd of men I hang out with at the party
they don’t know I love balls and chains
they don’t know I love balls and chains
August 18, 2025 at 5:13 AM
“the ole ball and chain, am I right boys?” I say to the crowd of men I hang out with at the party
they don’t know I love balls and chains
they don’t know I love balls and chains
tfw you want to draw but you hurt your drawin hand by moving and now you look like 3/128th of a mummy
July 30, 2025 at 3:45 AM
tfw you want to draw but you hurt your drawin hand by moving and now you look like 3/128th of a mummy
pussy wet, pussy carnal, pussy is a tiger in a lake
July 26, 2025 at 11:04 AM
pussy wet, pussy carnal, pussy is a tiger in a lake
I be at my 8am dentist office like “take me out to dinner first before poking around in my mouth”
July 20, 2025 at 10:19 AM
I be at my 8am dentist office like “take me out to dinner first before poking around in my mouth”
things I love:
my human girl
my cat girls (They suck so much)
Costco
my human girl
my cat girls (They suck so much)
Costco
July 11, 2025 at 5:30 AM
things I love:
my human girl
my cat girls (They suck so much)
Costco
my human girl
my cat girls (They suck so much)
Costco
my mom is now paying for my partner’s Spotify so we might as well be married
June 27, 2025 at 5:34 AM
my mom is now paying for my partner’s Spotify so we might as well be married
is it really possible for a sports loving country boy to write a DnD campaign
June 22, 2025 at 8:37 AM
is it really possible for a sports loving country boy to write a DnD campaign