punslinger1.bsky.social
@punslinger1.bsky.social
What do I know about Bonsai Trees?
Very little.
August 24, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Some historians claim that Nelson was the finest military strategist. Other historians think that he was not all there. #Nelson #Pun
August 24, 2025 at 9:17 PM
My wife is currently running across Europe naked. She’s on a Duolingo streak. #Duolingo
August 20, 2025 at 8:13 PM
My wife had a gender reveal party last night. I just wish he had done it before we got married! #GenderReveal
August 13, 2025 at 10:45 AM
I’ve got lots of jokes about rowing but most of them are awful! #puns #rowing
August 2, 2025 at 8:59 PM
If you call a naughty child a little monster it can scar them for life but if you stun them with a taser the marks will disappear in days. #ParentingTips
May 14, 2025 at 4:31 PM
I have been in London for over 24 hours without witnessing a single stabbing or mugging, can I claim a refund.
May 10, 2025 at 5:28 PM
I ran to the paint shop to get thinner but it didn’t work. #puns
May 6, 2025 at 10:17 PM
I’m not impressed by my new American Gothic garden. I won’t be hiring a portrait gardener again. #puns #gardening
April 27, 2025 at 8:51 PM
What is the difference between an Iguana and a bearded dragon? I’m not married to an Iguana. #IguanaJokes
April 25, 2025 at 8:02 PM
I’m not very happy with my America Gothic garden. That’s the last time I’ll be using a portrait gardener! #puns #gardening
April 24, 2025 at 8:13 PM
I just read an obituary which said that the deceased lit up any room he entered. - He was an arsonist!
March 17, 2025 at 6:15 PM
What’s the difference between a soft cheese and a hard cheese? A hard cheese comes with its own knife.
March 13, 2025 at 10:52 AM
I was so anxious when doing the caterpillar diet that I ended up with butterflies in my stomach. #puns #diets
January 12, 2025 at 8:20 PM
I once went out with a woman for a year and didn’t realise she was a communist. I can’t believe I missed all the red flags. #puns
December 31, 2024 at 12:51 PM
I've just joined the German equivalent of alcoholics anonymous because their approach to quitting drinking is so much quicker. Ein zwie dry. #pubs
December 24, 2024 at 10:47 PM
I went to Caesars Palace with my wife but they wouldn’t lettuce in. #puns
December 4, 2024 at 8:24 PM
Scientists are working 24/7 to find a cure for insomnia. #insomnia #puns
December 4, 2024 at 8:05 PM
Why did the Cornish pasty go to the dentist?
Because it had lost its filling. #puns
December 4, 2024 at 8:03 PM
If you liquidised the head of the Catholic church would you get a pope puree? #puns
December 4, 2024 at 8:02 PM
I went to a restaurant called Karma, it didn’t have any menus you just got what you deserved. #puns #Karma
December 4, 2024 at 8:00 PM
My car was in collision with a lorry carrying Bic pens. It is now a complete write off. #puns
December 1, 2024 at 11:18 PM
I did a 12 inch poo today, it was a foot stool. #puns
November 24, 2024 at 10:55 PM
My local priest is called Father Cannelloni. I say priest but he is actually more of a pasta. #puns
November 24, 2024 at 6:46 AM
I told the doctor that all I ever think about is cocker spaniels. He said that I must have a breed on the brain. #puns #dogs
November 21, 2024 at 9:29 PM