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Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton

@punzer.bsky.social

1.5K followers 690 following 15K posts

crabby run goon, things of that nature. if "5'8 virgo" had a tulpa. anti-capital collectivism (communist) head of the good monster / run time industrial complex. 📍PDX pfp: @sammy.studio

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Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · Nov 10

new people are following me:

fuck the police
fuck the democrats
fuck liberals
fuck white people
fuck america
fuck borders l
fuck the troops
fuck the military
fuck the courts
fuck the law
fuck men
fuck the artist
fuck the art
fuck gender
fuck the nuclear family
fuck chocolate chip cookies
fuck RHCP

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Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 1h

good monster run monster

Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 7h

💪💪🫡🫡

Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 9h

run time

Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 11h

No gods
No kings
No chains
No sex in the champagne room

Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 12h

I can't fix her, but I do respect that she's doing more to kill Jordan Peterson than any and all of his detractors combined

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Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 12h

they're not going to seat her and pay no price; Garland 2.0

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Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 15h

👀👀

Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 16h

laying pipe in a god-honoring way

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Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 17h

continuing adventures in having my name misspelled by employers, friends, family, benefactors and detractors, year 41 of 41

Reposted by Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton

Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · Feb 24

Speaking of 1996, I'm reliving the classic mid '00s hit, Mr Welchs List.

the kids don't know. we gotta tell em.

theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html

2550 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG

1

395

1. Cannot base characters off the Who's drummer Keith Moon.

2. A one man band is not an appropriate bard instrument.

3. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery.

4. My 7th Sea character Boudreaux is not 'Southern' Montaigne.

5. Not allowed to blow all my skill points on 1pt professional skills.

6. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan.

7. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes.

8. How to serve Dragons is not a cookbook.

9. My monk's lips must be in sync.

10. Just because my character and I can speak German, doesn't mean the GM can.

11. Not allowed to berserk for the hell of it, especially during royal masquerades.

12. Must learn at least one offensive or defensive spell if I'm the sorcerer.

13. Must not murder canon NPCs in their sleep, no matter how cliche they are.

14. Ogres are not kosher.

15. Plan B is not automatically twice as much gunpowder as Plan A.

16. I will not beat Tomb of Horrors in less than

10 minutes from memory.

17. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero.

18. When surrendering I am to hand the sword over HILT first.

19. Drow are not good eating.

20. Polka is not appropriate marching music.

21. No longer allowed to recreate the Death Star Trench Run out of genre.

22. There is no such thing as a Gnomish Pygmy War Rhino.

23. Any character who has a sensitivity training center named after him will be taken away.

24. Even if the rules allow it, I am not allowed to summon 50,000 Blue Whales.

25. The green elf does not need food badly.

26. Valley speak has no place in a fantasy setting. Especially if you're the paladin.

27. I am not to shoot every corpse in the head to make sure they aren't a zombie in Twilight 2000.

28. The Goddess' of Marriage chosen weapon is not the whip.

29. I cannot have any gun that requires me to continue the damage code on back.

30. I am not to kill off all the vampires in the LARP, even if they are terminally stupid.

31. The backup trap handler is not whoever has the most HP at the time.

32. I cannot buy any animal in groups of 100 or over.

33. There is no such skill as 'improvised cooking'

34. I am not allowed to base any Droid off any character played by Joe Pesci.

35. I am not allowed to convince the entire party to play R2 units.

36. I am not allowed to convince the entire party to sit on the same side of the table.

37. They do not make black market illegal cyberweapons for rodents.

38. When investigating evil cultists not allowed to just torch the decrepit mansion from the outside.

39. Gnomes do not have the racial ability 'can lick their eyebrows'

40. Gnomes do not have the racial ability to hold their breath for 10 minutes.

41. Gnomes do not have the racial ability 'impromptu kickstand'

42. Having a big nose adds nothing to my seduction check.

43. No longer allowed to set nazi propaganda music to a snappy disco beat.

44. Not allowed to spend all 100 character points on 100 1pt skills.

45. My character names are not allowed to be double entendres.

46. Sliver rhymes with silver because the

computer frelling says so.

47. They do not make Nair in wookie sizes.

48. The elf is restricted to decaf for the rest of the adventure.

49. Not allowed to blow up the Death Star before that snotty farm kid gets his shot.

50. Not allowed to use thermodynamic science to asphyxiate the orcs' cave instead of exploring it first.

51. No longer allowed to use the time machine for booty calls.

52. My bard does not know how to play Inna Godda Davida on marachas.

53. Not allowed to start a drow character weighing more than a quarter ton.

54. Cannot pimp out other party members.

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Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 17h

"rolling with that Splinter"

disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 19h

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Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 18h

the rapture did happen

we just didn't make the cut

Two bike tires on the ground approximately bike distance apart

Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 1d

good monster run monster

Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 1d

Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 1d

my guy in the middle's hairlines are retreating from his face in any and every direction possible simultaneously

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Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 1d

"the musing individualist" buddy, say less

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Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 1d

they are a powerful foe, it can take years to develop a proficient technique, even with skill talent and experience.

Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 1d

*proofread like 5x to make sure I spelled, and autocorrect did not take liberties with, "deck"

Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 1d

look how low that deck is. it would be *such* smooth sailing; you could load that baby up and be out all day, knees and back floating on air.

Josh Fruhlinger @jfruh.bsky.social · 1d

genuinely squealed like I saw a celebrity

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Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 1d

it's time for Sexual Jeffery to shine

Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton @punzer.bsky.social · 1d

I use Body Glide (original blue formula) and it's worked miracles for me. and also just straight up liquid bandage on days I know I'm gonna be doing double digits in one run. between the two I've not chaffed in my drawers or bled from the nipples in like a decade