Author | Lightnews

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 1h

watching Little Shop of Horrors so I don't crash out & honestly Seymour is the perfect man. I will fight anyone who disagrees with me. it helps that Rick Moranis is a babe.

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 2h

have you ever sat there thinking & thought yourself out of body? zoomed out really far until you're looking down from higher & higher, considering different existential whatnots? then you panic bc you're afraid you might think yourself out of existence by accident? is this a universal experience or

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 3h

hoo-ray, ODSP processed my internal review & it's another rejection! now I have the month of november to deal with the social benefits tribunal & legal aid. I should put this letter up as halloween decoration, it's the scariest thing I've seen all season.

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 17h

I started doodling this sort of three panel comic idea I got & forgot entirely you have to remember to leave space for the words? right. comic. words. but at least I know even without context it's still kinda funny.

three squares vertically. top square is a garden with a figure in a seated relaxed pose. middle square is a close up of a serene face surrounded by flowers and leaves. bottom square is an extreme close up of eyes looking incredibly concerned or annoyed.

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heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 17h

I'm understanding part of why I used to be a night owl in my youth probably has to be with not being able to get myself to be productive until the day is pretty much "over". getting myself to do things during daylight hours does not come naturally to me, but my sleep cycle demands it now.

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 19h

oh their art was also selected to be the poster design for said zine fair. like this kid is maybe 7 or something? and getting paid work? like shut up, c'mon now. leave something for the rest of us. you're setting the bar too high.

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 19h

I've met this kid & they're super cool and dress way cooler than me too. like this child has a head start on everyone, it's just amazing to see what a loving home can do.

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heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 19h

there's a child who's going to have a table at the zine fair this weekend bc their parents are artists too & incredibly supportive and rad as fuck- and I shouldn't be so jealous of a literal child. just bc they have loving & supportive parents like GOOD FOR THEM i guess, ugh.

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heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 20h

went through my dad's CDs to put in the car bc I'm sick of trying to figure out what to listen to or having the fucking algorithm tell me what to listen to. full albums. mixed CDs. I'm going to basics.

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 1d

when I die bury me in spamtopia.

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 1d

sometimes I think I'll probably die alone bc I'm just the dumbest bitch on the planet who has too many feelings & people love me but they don't actually like me. and sometimes I remember this is probably just pmdd.

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 1d

I just want to know people beyond the mundane. we contain multitudes, etc, so why are people so afraid to share them. I don't want to be so balled up. why do you think I scream into the void. the void doesn't dismiss or judge me when I talk. I think intimacy is sharing those parts & feeling safe.

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 1d

I spent the day driving aimlessly, then wound up at value village where I got chatted up by two retirees, then sat in my car listening to random CDs I bought in two different parking locations, & now I'm watching a black & white show from the 1960s. no I'm super well & normal. very fine.

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 1d

I know I'm being dramatic. I guess I'm sad that I'm the only one who thinks my work is interesting. I don't know. I didn't get enough praise as a child & now I'm broken probably. wah wah.

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 1d

and unfortunately, because it's art, it's also inherently personal & vulnerable to share it. so when it gets no reaction, it's like *you're* being rejected. like fuck me I'll just crawl back into my hole I guess.

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 1d

like why did I go to art school if not to build a career in art. that means people caring about what I create. it's inherently a part of it, whether I want it to be or not, whether it's "supposed to be the point" or not.

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heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 1d

every time I share an art post on instagram I spend the day having a mild mental health crisis. like I *know* creating isn't about praise but my good god what is the fucking point if no one even cares.

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heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 1d

I am like 80% sure they made all their cups slightly smaller though. like, I feel a little bit gaslit.

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 1d

it's only 10° but 7/11 says it's still summer bc slurpees are still only $2. I'll take it.

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heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 2d

a couple of sketchbook scans. I scanned 13 or so pages. not everything is done but I might make some of it mixed media, so I also just want to preserve where it's at right now. just in case. I'm not really sure where a lot of my art is going lately but I'm glad to be back to it.

a bunch of faces in a circle that kinda looks like a brain if you squint

a bunch of faces in a weird almost diamond shaped surrounded by ivy. there's a sun in the top right hand corner that says ITS OKAY in the centre of it. text between the ivy and faces says I DONT LIKE ME EITHER AND I GUESS I'M STILL FINE

three sad sketchy faces interwoven into eachother. text is hard to make out underneath the many lines. some of it says I'M HERE IF YOU NEED ME. and SEE YOU IN THREE MONTHS.

a tree with long spindly roots and ivy growing all along the trunk. it only has one sad branch growing down to the left hand side that blooms into a bunch of faces and bushy hair

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 2d

taking the weird energy I had & turning it into productivity instead of a doomscroll induced crash out was an out of character flex for my brain to pull for today, but I'm not mad about it. keep up the good work, man.

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 2d

I had a black jelly bean for the first time in what feels like years & then immediately erupted into happy dancing. pure bliss.

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 2d

cleaned my room, put hooks on the wall to hang artwork that's been taking up floor space, and decided to actually start watching my VHS tapes I've never seen. if I'm trapped in this space, I should make something of it.

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 3d

my dad always talking shit about One Piece every time he watches it but continuing to watch it for some inexplicable reason just brings me so much joy.

heathbird @quixoticpress.bsky.social · 3d

limboing precariously between survival state & doing it for the plot at any given time.