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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 20

Morbo can't understand his Teleprompter. He forgot how you say that letter that looks like a man with a hat.

It's a "T". It goes "tuh".

Hello, little man. I will destroy you!

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 19

You, Boogerbot, read the code or I'll shoot this guy.

Who the hell is he?

I'm Scruffy the janitor.

Hang on, Scruffy!

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 18

Bender! Where are the shovels I asked you to pack?

Oh, you said shovels?

I thought you said take a break and do nothing.

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 17

Hey, my girlfriend had one of those. Actually it wasn't hers, it was her dad's.

Actually she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and never closed her curtains.

Fry, remember when I told you about always ending your stories a sentence earlier?

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 16

Are they black with white feathers or white with black feathers?

It don't matter, baby. They're all beautiful.

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 15

Why couldn't she be the other type of mermaid, with the fish part on top and the lady part on the bottom?

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 14

Pine trees have been extinct for 800 years, Fry. Gone the way of the poodle and your primitive notions of modesty.

Ah! Brisk!

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 13

We own entire Western Hemisphere. That the best hemisphere.

It's the same on Earth.

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 12

Hey, buddy. I'm looking for fresh slug.

Yellow or purple?

Whatever.

The purple one causes terrible nightmare-ish diarrhoea.

Yeah, yeah. Either one's fine.

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 11

All those times I said "Kill all humans," I'd always whisper "except one". Fry was that one. And I never told him so!

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 10

My God, we're defenseless, like fish in a barrel.

Options?

My instinct is to hide in this barrel, like the wily fish.

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 9

As you ate our children, so shall you be eaten by us.

We will begin with the firemen, then the math teachers and so on in that fashion until everyone is eaten.

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 8

You folks still doing alright?

Oh, yes, Elzar.

Good, 'cause it turns out I forgot to cook that chicken.

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 7

Hey! How come when I wanna do fun stuff that'll kill me you're against it?

This is more important than that marble-eating contest, Fry.

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 6

Hey, Roberto! What's with the piece? I thought you were more of a Knife guy.

Out here in the West, I need something shootier.

Like this gun-Knife I invented-stole!

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 5

Bender, what happened to you?

Morgan made me walk the Professor.

There we were in the park when suddenly some old lady says I stole her purse.

I chucked the Professor at her but she kept coming. So I had to hit her with this purse I found.

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 4

Good news, everyone! I'm in terrible pain.

How is that good news?

It's not. I've run out of Good News brand herbal supplement.

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 3

You can see how I lived before I met you.

You lived before you met me?

Sure, lots of people did.

Really?

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 2

Oh, no? I'm 40% lucky.

The scrap metal I'm made from included a truckload of horseshoes from the luckiest racehorses in Mexico, who had just been sent to a glue factory.

They don't sound so lucky to me.

Not without their shoes.

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jul 1

But I don't get it. Most women I've met can't even stand next to me without collapsing.

What's wrong with those women?

Well... some of them didn't have legs.

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jun 30

This very lucky casino we own. Someone wins one million dollar every hour!

Usually it us.

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jun 29

It's extremely delicate, so if one of you breaks it, you're paying for it!

Fry did it!

Did what?

Just practicing for later.

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jun 28

Boy, I've never seen him so down... or ever before.

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jun 27

I don't know. I should be happy. Bender's sausage just won third place.

Third place? This is the greatest injustice Germany has ever committed!

#Futurama

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Futurama Quotes @quotesfuturama.bsky.social · Jun 26

I move that everyone come to my apartment to snuggle my cat.

Second.

I move that your cat stinks and is ugly.

Second.

I move that we vote on a new chief executive officer and oust this old creep. And also that make cat smells good and is pretty.

Second.

#Futurama

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