Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 10h

They say you must never store chemicals in an old fizzy pop bottle, just in case somebody might drink it. However, they never warn you about storing a soft drink in an empty bottle of bleach. I got caught out today when I tried to clean the toilet with Sprite Zero. It was ineffective!😡

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 15h

Prog 367

Dragonslayer? Or something that rhymes with his chosen weapon of defence?

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 1d

I know all about Hotheadz, thanks tho'

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 1d

I'm going to try some of this new scorpion flavoured condiment on my lasagne tonight for sh*ts and giggles. Although, I'm concerned the end result may induce the former rather than the latter.

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 1d

I'm going to try some of this new scorpion flavoured condiment on my lasagne tonight for sh*ts and giggles. Although, I'm concerned the end result may induce the former rather than the latter.

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 1d

Prog 366

If this comic was owned by the late Liverpudlian laughter maker would it be 'Ken Dodd's dead good, dead dog, escape pod prog?'

Look, I was on a large one last night in Euston with some pals, so that's the best caption I could come up with today.

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 1d

"Sometimes you wanna go,
Where everybody has the same face"

Alex Morris @asjmorris.bsky.social · 1d

Experiment successful.

The cast of TV sitcom Cheers, Cliff, Coach, Carla, Sam, Diane and Norm, but they're all been quickly faceswapped with Cher's face. The title above reads 'Chers'.

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 1d

Has she got any racing tips?

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 2d

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sz5m...

Brass Monkey

YouTube video by John Cameron - Topic

www.youtube.com

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 2d

Chazza shop 7" find of the week!

I wonder if there was any newly weds in Essex who had this tune as their opening dance at the reception?

Anyone here frequent the Kings club in Canvey Island? Apparently it was quite rowdy and shut down in 2001.
youtube.com/watch?v=1ErE...

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 3d

You cheeky monkey! Ya don't know what I have in store for prog 368. Trump satire seems rather redundant now and no obscure Python refs...yet!

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 3d

Prog 365

Oh, tell us a joke, you miserable sod.

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 3d

Yes, I loved it at the time. One of those tracks played loudly enough would rearrange your alimentary canal.

1

Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 3d

Think of the cardio.

Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 3d

There's a new film out now called 'The Smashing Machine'.
Is it about?
1) An eccentric prof who invents a contraption that's really rather super?
2) An eccentric prof who invents a demolition bulldozer robot that goes haywire and kills people?
3) Another film about boxing?

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 3d

If you see any suspicious Normans, please report them to the Anglo Saxon Transport Police immediately. See it. Say it. Smash it with a mace.

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 4d

Prog 364

As comedian Ben Elton used to say in the eighties, "Ooo, a little bit of politics."

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 5d

Prog 363

Fields of the Nephilim are an English gothic rock band formed in Stevenage, Hertfordshire, in 1984.

Hmm... were Stix an early inspiration?

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 5d

I've just started that new Spanish Netflix sci-fi drama, Billionaires' Bunker. I can honestly say that I've watched more plausible episodes of Barbapapa. Although, it's been pleasing to finally see the subtle colour combination of teal and orange on my screen.

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 6d

Prog 362

They missed a rhyming hat trick there. The caption should've read "The Spectre In The Sector Gets Hectored!".

Ah, I've just noticed inflation has risen its head again with a price hike of 2p that began with the previous prog.

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 6d

We are now at the stage when we’re nostalgic about old nostalgic YouTube uploads.

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 6d

That's all very well and good, but a smartphone is too heavy for my turntable stylus unlike a twenty pence coin.

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 6d

Things I'll miss if we become a cashless society:

1) Decision making more simple with heads or tails.
2) The 2ps on your elbow catching game.
3) The banknote folding Queen's bum trick.
4) Estate agents glueing a 50p coin on the pavement outside their High St office for amusement.

5 1 26

Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 7d

Prog 361

Cool bit of Ian Gibson artwork here, although I thought for a moment it was the return of Frank Hart: The Visible Man.

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Paul Putner @realpaulputner.bsky.social · 7d

Farewell Patricia Routledge. Here is a picture of her in 1968 receiving a Tony award from Groucho Marx.
What a life she had.

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