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red valley quote bot
@redvalquotes.bsky.social
tweeting quotes from @redvalleypod.bsky.social every 30 minutes | run by @petrichauri.bsky.social
CLIVE: I don't care if you have a drinking problem, can you just make it less visible?
PAMELA: You have a visible drinking problem.
CLIVE: I'm allowed to have a visible drinking problem. I don't have to vitrify anyone's corporeal remains.
February 12, 2026 at 2:41 AM
WARREN: You mean like Walt Disn -
GORDON: I swear to God if you say anything about Walt Disney's frozen fucking head, I am hanging up this phone right now.
February 12, 2026 at 2:11 AM
WARREN PUTS IN THE TAPE. IMMEDIATELY AN EAR-BLEEDING METAL TRACK PLAYS.
February 12, 2026 at 1:41 AM
WARREN: I don't want to hear any more of this, okay? If this is just some sick joke you people play on the new guy then fuck you, alright? If it’s real, then fuck you, why would you show that to me?
February 12, 2026 at 1:11 AM
AUBREY: We want to watch it burn, Rebecca.
REBECCA: W-Who is that?
AUBREY: We want everyone to watch it burn.
February 12, 2026 at 12:40 AM
AUBREY: I'm tired of looking to Ben for...what? Protection? Reassurance? He couldn't protect me from a malicious bag of crisps.
February 12, 2026 at 12:11 AM
GORD: It's disappointing to hear that I sound...
WARREN: Creepy?
GORD: Inauthentic.
WARREN: Well... if it makes you feel better Gordon can, on occasion, sound a little creepy.
GORD: Oh. So I'm on the right track.
February 11, 2026 at 11:41 PM
AUBREY: I'm only saying. If you're looking for wisdom, you've come to the wrong minivan. I'm just another idiot in the snow.
February 11, 2026 at 11:12 PM
GORDON: How much do you know about cryonic preservation?
February 11, 2026 at 10:41 PM
BRYONY: The reason I'm putting you in that pod over and over again is not because you're The One. And it's not because you're invulnerable. It's because you're a time sensitive resource.
February 11, 2026 at 10:11 PM
AUBREY: Hey, Blue Sky. How to break a car window from the inside.
February 11, 2026 at 9:41 PM
WARREN: I need to see him please.
February 11, 2026 at 9:11 PM
REBECCA: As I've said, my father is unwell-
CLIVE: Your father would look at this file and laugh until he broke a tooth. His mind would open like a motherfucking flower to the possibilities it presented, it wouldn’t shrink in fear and doubt.,
February 11, 2026 at 8:41 PM
WARREN: Fuck sake! What? Listen to yourself… No, no, no, no. NO! Fuck!
WARREN THROWS HIS BOWL AND SPOON WHICH CLATTERS AGAINST THE WALL.
February 11, 2026 at 8:11 PM
GORDON: I'm archiving like Bryony wanted me to."
February 11, 2026 at 7:41 PM
THE RAIN CONTINUES WHILE NO ONE SPEAKS.
GORD: Would you like me to play the next recording?
WARREN: No. No, I can wait.
February 11, 2026 at 7:11 PM
GORD: Just because there may or not be a Premier League anymore doesn't mean a nuclear holocaust wiped out the Football Association.
WARREN: You know the more I talk to you the more you remind me of actual Gordon.
GORD: I'll take that as a compliment.
WARREN: You shouldn't
February 11, 2026 at 6:41 PM
AUBREY: Ben! He's fucking dying on me! Ben! Where the fuck are you going? BEN! Ben, please don't leave me with him. Ben! BE-
February 11, 2026 at 6:11 PM
CLIVE'S MOUTH IS FULL AND HIS REPLY IS TOO GARBLED FOR BLUE TO MAKE OUT.
CLIVE: I jsufjf whanttj to eaassrt my dfjnnner -
February 11, 2026 at 5:42 PM
WARREN: I mean. Yeah. When I met him, he was sat at his desk in Archives, and... yeah. Fine. He was, wasn't he? He was just like that, I thought he was a nutjob. But tha… that's when I was... I wasn't really me, not really... Oh, Christ this is all so fucked up.
February 11, 2026 at 5:11 PM
CLIVE: Continental fucking breakfast.
February 11, 2026 at 4:40 PM
GORDON: Oh my god! That's exactly what I said!
THERES NO ONE TO HIGH FIVE.
February 11, 2026 at 4:10 PM
GORDON: That track was called Morior Invictus. It's about galloping towards a glorious death.
February 11, 2026 at 3:42 PM
BRYONY: I've had quite enough of that piss Shiraz thank you, you're doing a fine job of toasting your own cock with it all by yourself.
February 11, 2026 at 3:12 PM
GORDON: They're hooked up to every bit of monitoring going, like a super intensive care unit, they're fully anaesthetised, tubes in their mouths, in their arms, in their cocks, the lot.
February 11, 2026 at 2:41 PM