Author | Lightnews

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Jul 2

you did it. you solved star trek puns. that's it. you can safely retire.

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Jun 22

I'm getting strong Kowloon Walled City vibes from my children's bedrooms, not just from their appearance and general disarray, but also from the surprising amount of blackmailing and backstabbing going on.

#kowloon
#kwc
#cityofdarkness
#twilightofthewarriors
#walledin
#jiulongchengzhai

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Jun 5

Wann steigt #Kärcher eigentlich ins #dusch-wc Geschäft ein?

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · May 6

“Hey, guys, we’re racist now. Are the beers on Saturday still on?”

#writing

saugassel.blogspot.com/2025/05/so-i...

So I guess I’ll just fucking embrace it?

Submitted to McSweeney's Internet Tendency on May 3, 2025 - Rejected _____________________________________________ A remarkable exch...

saugassel.blogspot.com

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Mar 11

Reactor Magazine @reactorsff.bsky.social · Mar 11

@constancefay.bsky.social hated princesses. At least until she watched Farscape, which flipped the basic "princess" archetype into something new, complex, and refreshing for science fiction:

reactormag.com/farscape-and...

"Look at the Princess": Farscape and the Princess Fallacy - Reactor

Farscape's princesses were never what — or who — they seemed.

reactormag.com

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Mar 3

can't wait!

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Feb 20

the frozen schlun machine is broken again

#schlun
#froyo
#winter

alternative titles: (NSFW/cringe)

"can I put my rock hard schlun
right inside your cozy bun?"

"want some fun?
lick my schlun!"

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Feb 18

#morgue

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Jan 3

classic

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Dec 22

saugassel.blogspot.com/2024/12/welc...

Welcome to Rancorp!

#writing
#office
#funfunfun

Welcome to RanCorp. Here is what you need to do in order to get started.

Submitted to McSweeney's Internet Tendency on October 22, 2024 - Rejected _____________________________________________ Welcome to Ran...

saugassel.blogspot.com

1

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Dec 14

this ad worked for me. bought it right away.

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Dec 8

awesome mix!

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Dec 8

this was indeed a spectacular mix. absolutely brilliant, soothing, and so perfect for being outside in winter.

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Nov 22

saugassel.blogspot.com/2024/11/ai-p...

#writing
#humor
#sentientbrowsertabs

AI-powered browser tabs that question their closure

Submitted to McSweeney's Internet Tendency on July 29, 2024 - Rejected _____________________________________________ Hi, this is the t...

saugassel.blogspot.com

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Sep 25

#trump is to #politics what #wrestling is to #sports. #politicsentertainment

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Sep 20

Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #3.030.525!

A virtual certificate with text "Celebrating 10M users on Bluesky, #3.030.525, Rejected Material ‪@rejectedmaterial.bsky.social‬, joined on 19. Jan. 2024"

1

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Jul 13

saugassel.blogspot.com/2024/07/suic...

#writing
#parenting
#science

Suicide by things whose supposed lethality is used by parents to prevent their children from doing them

Submitted to McSweeney's Internet Tendency on June 26, 2024 - Rejected _____________________________________________ H ere at the Nation...

saugassel.blogspot.com

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Jul 1

saugassel.blogspot.com/2024/07/what...

#writing
#movies
#bill

What if watching a film was more like dreaming?

Submitted to McSweeney's Internet Tendency on Mai 17, 2024 - Rejected _____________________________________________ Customer feedback ...

saugassel.blogspot.com

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · May 30

Hell Yeah!

1

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · May 30

Hell Yeah!

1

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Feb 14

GTAI: The new GTA game that makes heavy use of AI

#writing
#literallyrejected
#GTA

GTAI: The new GTA game that makes heavy use of AI

Submitted to McSweeney's Internet Tendency on January 19, 2024 - Rejected _____________________________________________ Welcome to GTAI,...

saugassel.blogspot.com

1 2

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Feb 6

You'd be surprised how much cannot be done in 5 minutes!

#writing

2

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Feb 5

Isn't it a bit pretentious for people to write things and then expect others to read them?

#writing

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Feb 2

THE CENTRE CANNOT HOLD - A critical reading of William Butler Yeats’ famous poem updated with contemporary commentary.

#writing
#bodyshaming
#trinityofsnacks

THE CENTRE CANNOT HOLD - A critical reading of William Butler Yeats’ famous poem updated with cont...

Submitted to McSweeney's Internet Tendency on October 26, 2023 - Rejected (This was 3 months before this brilliant piece appeared there s...

saugassel.blogspot.com

Rejected Material @rejectedmaterial.bsky.social · Feb 1

I recently discovered that Center Shock chewing gum does not actually have a shocking but a rather sweet center. The shocking stuff covers the gum but if you wait until you start chewing it dissolves and all you're left with is a sweet center. They should rename the product to "Center Letdown".