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robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity
@robertelectricity.bsky.social
360 followers 360 following 2.4K posts
I hope Howard Cosell is doing well. https://linktr.ee/wnod
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robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · Aug 8
I would never put all of my eggs in one basket because I don't put eggs in baskets. I put them on the bottom shelf of my refrigerator in the containers they come in.
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 1h
None of my ex-girlfriends were crazy. They were all very reasonable to not want to date me anymore.
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 1h
I really like the trend of self-ordering kiosks in fast food restaurants. Not because I don't want to talk to the employees, but because I like exploring menus.
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 1h
What are earwigs called when they aren't inside an ear?
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 1h
My favorite kind of horror movie death scene is the kind that makes me immediately rewind the movie.
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 18h
You know what sounds not calm at all? FIVE STEPS!
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robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 1d
Now that my bad cough from an upper respiratory viral infection is gone, I can go back to choking on my own saliva like a totally normal healthy person.
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 1d
The other day, I saw a lady at the grocery store pick up a carton of eggs, shake her head, and say, "I'm not paying nine dollars for eggs." Then she put the eggs back and walked away. I admire her commitment to value.
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 1d
I would rather be playing video games all day, but the monetary requirements of modern society mean I must do something called "work at a job to make money" which is such bullshit.
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robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 2d
It's ridiculous that we use social media, a most unserious thing, to try to do serious things.
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 2d
me: Dear, did you know that Gilbert Gottfried's wife used to help him out on his podcast? She did all sorts of behind-the-scenes stuff, and she occasionally co-hosted. Why don't you help me out on my podcast?
wife: Well, you're no Gilbert Gottfried.
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 2d
Politicians are so fucking performative. They need to calm their shit down.
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 2d
Microsoft apparently wants people to eventually use AI to run Windows instead of a mouse and keyboard. Great. That's all we need. Offices of people shouting at their Windows computers.
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 2d
Some of you have not wiped down your kitchen countertops in a long time, or ever, and it shows.
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 2d
Time to unpack my asshole.
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 3d
overheard from a random lady at a grocery store: "They were having sex through a window."
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 3d
I am so glad I didn't learn how to code.
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 3d
Nextdoor would be worth using if it were funnier and meaner.
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 4d
I have one of those faces that get worse the more you look at it.
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 4d
Pay MSRP for a smartphone? Are you nuts???
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 4d
Grapes have gotten SO BIG but at least they’re easy to stab with a fork.
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 4d
me when I am at my home computer desk: 🙂
me when I am not at my home computer desk: 😐
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 6d
It's almost time for people to misspell "Happy New Year."
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 6d
A river runs through my ass!
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 6d
Salt-N-Pepa: “Now wait a minute y'all, this dance ain't for everybody. Only the sexy people.”
me:
a man in a black jacket and white pants is walking through a dirt field .
ALT: a man in a black jacket and white pants is walking through a dirt field .
media.tenor.com
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robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 7d
Thank goodness I was not raptured. I have SO MANY video games still to play.