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Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · 1d

This pussy kills fascists

Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · 1d

Me when my friends like my thirst trap: Obviously they support me and unapologetic femme sexual expression and the concept of thirst traps generally

Me when the friend I’m secretly attracted to likes my thirst trap: OMG does this mean she would fuck me??

Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · 1d

“Hey boy, anyone ever tell you that you’re too handsome to be a class traitor?” - me while ovulating

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Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · 29d

Sometimes I want to help people out of human empathy, sometimes I want to help people out of sheer spite toward people who act like helping others is wrong. Like “I’m giving more mutual aid to a Palestinian soup kitchen because fuck you. I just made the world a little kinder, you like that asshole?”

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Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · 29d

Okay I know it’s normal if one boob is bigger, but why is one of my boobs SWEATIER than the other??

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Reposted by Robust Pretzel

NarawΩ ☄️ @luckyflower.bsky.social · Apr 5

Get that dick/pussy, get sex ed, masturbate, have and enjoy pleasure that your body gives.
Not every session needs to end in orgasm or coming, its ok to stop and continue some other day or just let it fade away.
It does not mean it failed or you suck.
Fondle some tiddy, slap some ass, feel arousal

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Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · Jun 17

Big corporations love law & order, until the law is the Species At Risk Act and the order is an emergency stop work order to protect sensitive salmon spawning areas 🙄

Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · Jun 16

Yeah I’m an IT specialist. I specialize in information and tea.

Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · Jun 9

May I protect my trans comrades more fiercely than I protect the book in my bag from the water bottle in my bag 🙏 #TransRightsAreHumanRights #protectdolls

Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · Jun 3

2.5 hrs earlier…
CAT: *pokes me in the face*
ME: Go back to sleep. You don’t get fed til 7:30.
CAT: *pokes me in the face with claw extended*
ME: THAT’S IT I DON’T NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS
*kicks cat out of bedroom*

Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · Jun 3

This morning my cat ignored the wet food I gave her so that she could come back to bed with me and cuddle

a young boy sings into a microphone with the words the greatest love of all behind him

ALT: a young boy sings into a microphone with the words the greatest love of all behind him

media.tenor.com

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Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · Jun 3

Unsurprising. Knowing how not to get perganant renders the population less governable.

Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · May 19

If you need me I’m sniffing the apple trees

Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · May 19

Me, at a march with my labour union, wearing a kaffiyeh and carrying a flag: I dunno I wouldn’t really call myself political

Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · May 18

Role play fantasy where I am me and you are you and we pretend like we weren’t gonna make out but then we are overcome with passion and we do make out

Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · May 14

Mini succulents are so tiny and cute and waxy that I forget that they are mortal and can die if I don’t give them water.

Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · May 8

One night stands? For partners no, for books yes

Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · May 3

If you need me I’m petting mullein leaves in the park

Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · May 2

Watching every Studio Ghibli film so that I’ll know whether any given image is AI or not

Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · Apr 14

That being said, holding space for all kinds of difficult feelings that come up when relationships change and all the myriad ways that that can impact your life 💜

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Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · Apr 14

No breakup or deescalation could EVER have spoiled Star Trek: Lower Decks for me!

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Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · Apr 14

For sure, I’m not a monster 😂 (unless there is a BREAKUP), but there are also certain shows I’m not gonna watch more of with someone else when I’ve already started watching by myself!

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Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · Apr 13

Girls will be like, “I really needed this,” and it’s just a long conversation with someone who has the same concerns about regulatory reform as you do.

Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · Apr 13

Solo polyamory is like, “No, sorry, I can’t watch the latest episode with you. That’s the show I watch with myself.”

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Robust Pretzel @robustpretzel.bsky.social · Apr 11

I bet I could run Carthage better than the version of Dido that fell in love with Aeneas, just sayin’.