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RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑

@roninqueen.bsky.social

71 followers 160 following 2.1K posts

Artist with stage 4 colon cancer. I also enjoy sewing, playing games, playing bass, singing, giant robots and monster movies. I probably shouldn't be on here after midnight.

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RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · Jan 12

And suddenly, I remembered I set up a Ko-Fi ages ago. Now it's current and useable.

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Buy RoninQueen a Coffee. ko-fi.com/roninqueen

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RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 3h

I just want to get a decent night's sleep without having to worry about people coming in my apartment for a couple of days. I have chemo this week and I have stuff I have to get done before that, and honestly I don't want to deal with any of it.

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 3h

My insides are in a hurry to become outsides and the little bag I have stuck to my side has failed twice today. I'm really sick of it just failing and making a mess instead of me being able to just change it on a regular basis. Usually it'll give hints that it's going to fail as well. Not lately!

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 3h

I'm so frustrated with the state of this apartment. I can't do any more.

Pest control is coming tomorrow and I'm gonna slap a note on my door that I'm sick and to not come in. Which isn't really untrue. My stomach is all kinds of mad at me for that chili.

The stuff they use doesn't do much anyway.

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 5h

Made some chili and it's gooooood.

Little bit too much spice in it for total comfort, but it's still delicious. My nose was already runny anyway. 😁

I am gonna go eat a chalk tablet or two before bed though. Not trying to wake up with heartburn.

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 1d

Ugh I tried to get up and finish the dishes and my whole stomach just cramped to hell. I'm okay while I'm lying down. So I guess I'm gonna finish that stuff tomorrow. I only have a couple things left.

I'm gonna just give up for tonight. Gonna take my meds and crash.

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 1d

Getting up and trying to feed myself was SO difficult today, even after sleeping so late. Doing everything has been hard as hell, I still can't stand up very long and my stomach was kinda cramping up. Thankfully I also have ginger ale coming tomorrow...I finished mine off. 😓

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 1d

Did a few things, got my laundry out of my bathroom and put my dishes away and washed most of the dirty ones...I'll see if I can manage to do the rest before I sleep. Still need to vacuum, clean the catbox and clear the bathtub drain, but I've got some drain cleaner coming tomorrow. Today. Sunday.

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 1d

So uh. I slept for nine more hours. I *just* woke up. I did briefly wake up a couple times because drums from the parade and my neighbors slamming doors are hard to sleep through, but damn.

Thank you pain patch, very cool. I'm gonna chug a gallon of water now.

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RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 1d

I rolled over because my left shoulder was kinda involuntarily jerking and now my right shoulder is doing it.

I just wanna go back to sleep...not bloody likely though. Not with a parade starting in a couple hours.

Still gonna try though.

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 1d

Oh this is a nerve thing isn't it? It feels all tingly at the base of my shoulderblades. I can even feel it in my fingers a bit.

I've been trying to sleep on my right side because I always lay on my left side and it's starting to deteriorate. Sleeping on my back causes more problems than it fixes.

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 1d

I've been awake a little more than an hour. I don't want to be, but there's a pain kinda shooting through my shoulders and back that I can't ignore. There's a parade in town today so the street cleaning vehicles are out and I can hear them.

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 4d

They're having me keep track of it because it's been high the last few times I've been. I was also on steroids the last few times I've been.

I'm not now, so I don't know what the deal is.

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 4d

Good plan. I still have my last phone even though I've had the one I use for like five years now.

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RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 4d

I'm mad this is happening, I always have a higher BP at chemo because just being there makes me sad and a little nervous. I was doing fine before Tuesday morning. Even Monday night after I collapsed I didn't get a bad reading.

I hate having to keep track of this stuff too. Just makes me worry.

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 4d

Have I been in pain the last couple days? Yeah. But that's because I hurt myself Monday and my body heals slow. I'm doing a bit better now, but when I wake up I'm gonna almost certainly feel like shit, and that's with me taking extra pain meds to compensate.

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 4d

Just now took my nighttime meds, my blood pressure has been up since yesterday and has not really gotten better. I'm missing my pain patch and have been for about a week, that might be a factor but I don't know. I push my limits with that all the time, and idk that it really does much.

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 4d

YAY the phone works!

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RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 4d

I have no idea how long Bluesky was out today but once I couldn't look at it I pretty much ignored my phone for the day.

Did I get anything done? Well, a little bit. I'm gonna try and get a little more done and make some dinner. But I'm still moving real slow.

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 5d

I posted on the MAGFest Discord channel looking for a room and was subsequently contacted by a scammer. It's a long story, I'll tell you later. I did at least get them banned.

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 5d

Here's hoping Medicare things aren't part of the government shutdown and I can actually accomplish what I need to this week.

I have so much homework and zero motivation to do it. I'm not doing it today because pain and immobility but I'll try tomorrow. 😑

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 5d

I don't have the mental wherewithal right now to do the paperwork I NEED to do for Medicare and these aid programs and I need to try and turn a lot of things around and that's really REALLY fucking hard when I have to spend several days just laying down and feeling like shit.

So yeah. No MAGFest. 😓

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 5d

There are too many "ifs" for me to work through and I have very little to last me the rest of THIS month. I know I'm overly tired and depressed right now but this is the sane thing to do. I don't have a room or transportation and I don't have the mental wherewithal to find those things right now.

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 5d

So I'm not going to MAGFest this year.

I've been scammed out of at least $150, potentially $850, and nothing has happened on that front in over a week. I'm gonna apply for a couple of assistance things this week that I'm eligible for, and if I get both I could potentially go, but it's not likely.

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 5d

Two more hours of sleep did not help much. My blood pressure was pretty nuts when I checked it...they have me keeping track of it now because it's usually pretty high at chemo. It's been perfect so far, even last night it was good, but this morning? Nope.

RoninQueen of the DAMNED 👑 @roninqueen.bsky.social · 5d

I just woke up and EVERYTHING hurts so bad WTF it's like I was in a car crash or something

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