rstevens 👻💨
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rstevens.bsky.social
rstevens 👻💨
@rstevens.bsky.social
Entrepreneur, Forest Bathing Guide, Mindfulness Mentor, Happiness Coach, Master Ancient Tibetan Singing Bowl Artist, Intuitive Self-worth Coach, Mindful Alchemist, Master of Bio-Energetic Medicine, Spiritual Thought Leader, Visionary, Lawncare Professional
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I may have done a terrible job, but at least it took three times longer than expected
1. Star Wars (original)
2. The Phantom Menace
3. Key Lime Pie
4. Empire Strikes Back
5. Little Debbie Nutty Bars
6. The Last Jedi
7. Apple Pan Dowdy (1998 Special Edition)
November 25, 2025 at 11:40 PM
56% of americans believe in me, therefore i can do anything 👽
New polling on aliens
% of U.S. adult citizens who believe the following definitely or probably exist:
Aliens 56%
Bigfoot 28%
The Yeti 23%
The Loch Ness Monster 22%
Chupacabra 16%
today.yougov.com/health/artic...
November 25, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Reposted by rstevens 👻💨
My life would be easier if I had fewer ideas
November 25, 2025 at 10:06 AM
sure, 85 minute showers are wasteful, but that’s 85 minutes you’re probably not looking at your phone
November 24, 2025 at 11:56 PM
ooh, i found my dream house AND my true crime podcast:

"The property has been in the same family for three generations since the 1970's. Discover what secrets lie under the carpet."
November 24, 2025 at 10:10 PM
i invented a sandwich with cheese on the outside and now the government is after me
November 24, 2025 at 12:53 AM
is zohran president now i am a few hours behind
November 21, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Reposted by rstevens 👻💨
they could make so much on AI by charging a dollar more to turn it off
November 21, 2025 at 1:31 AM
bob gmail or whatever the fuck his name is better hope we never meet in a dark alley
November 21, 2025 at 1:23 AM
my favorite holiday is British Thanksgiving, where the UK shows its gratitude that they got rid of America before it got any more fucked up
November 21, 2025 at 12:48 AM
i don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
November 19, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Reposted by rstevens 👻💨
onlyfans bought out pizza hut and now you can buy a feet lover's pizza® 🍕😻🦶
November 12, 2025 at 4:49 PM
wait… “the gobbler” was the SANDWICH??
November 18, 2025 at 2:04 AM
it’s funny how the moment everyone started carrying a camera phone everywhere, björk sightings just stopped

#TheTruthIsOutThere
November 16, 2025 at 8:29 PM
did everyone see the big news today?

mcrib is back
November 15, 2025 at 2:20 AM
we should be able to eat sandwiches called DA GOBBLER year round this is a violation of my free speech
November 13, 2025 at 10:24 PM
well, at least the world can’t get any more disturbing
November 13, 2025 at 12:27 AM
onlyfans bought out pizza hut and now you can buy a feet lover's pizza® 🍕😻🦶
November 12, 2025 at 4:49 PM
if i ever die, there will be limited-edition mcribs made from my corpse. you can pre-order yours on friday
November 12, 2025 at 12:47 AM
dreamed last night that i saw @mattfraction.bsky.social and he confirmed my theory that the batcave has a pittsburgh potty
November 11, 2025 at 11:13 PM
here’s the pitch: joyce carol oates vs. predator
November 11, 2025 at 1:09 PM
wait, frankenstein was the DOCTOR??
November 9, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Reposted by rstevens 👻💨
be kind to yourself. it will piss a lot of people off.
March 6, 2025 at 9:35 PM
i had my 50,000mg of sodium for the day, and now for a single glass of water
November 8, 2025 at 11:47 PM
this just in: now aliens are calling us “the corn dog planet"

i cannot express to you how much of an improvement this is
November 6, 2025 at 1:22 AM