Virgin Companies now: "Nooooo I want an 18 year old with 25 years of experience!"
Chad Companies then: "You’re 7 years old, no experience? Welcome aboard!"

Depends on how much you pay me

Did you know that there's a strategy in battleship where you can win every single time, just by moving the pegs around in a certain way? Look up "pegging" to learn more.

How to get upvoted on /r/unpopularopinion

1. Post a popular opinion
2. Wait

Sorry I don't speak spanish

My mom thinks I’m a loser with no life. What she doesn’t know is that I have a mansion, tons of food, am a professional at construction, and have a full set of diamond armor.

look out your window

I can't wait for AI girlfriends to become real so I can tell people "I'm dating a model"

That's the Windows 11 experience

Medical commercials be like: "This medicine can treat your mild back pain. May cause depression, bleeding, sudden death, schizophrenia, and lycanthropy"