shewontsleep
LightNews LightNews
shewontsleep.bsky.social
shewontsleep
@shewontsleep.bsky.social
69 followers 91 following 19 posts
portland based poet and musician. trans woman

i make art about grief and survival

debut album "i am god?" coming soon
Posts Replies Media Videos
shewontsleep.bsky.social
mistletoe

#poem #poetry
there are days where i hang from the cliff when im sinking and rendered adrift and i pull myself against the center of gravity but i know that slipping is an inevitability it’s only a matter of time, really and then there are days where my feet hit the ground and i muffle my ears so i wont hear the sound of the cracks in the granite that spread where im standing because im scared if i fall again ...there won’t be a landing and today i feel nothing at all i take a bite of the drywall for a taste of the plainness my eyes all bright and glimmering like a mistletoe one day im gonna kiss the present
December 10, 2025 at 2:10 AM
shewontsleep.bsky.social
stuffed animal

#poem #poetry #poetrycommunity
i would not cause harm to a stuffed animal or even the demon that crawls on the wall id like to wrap it in my arms and bandage up the scars and nourish it with gentleness that ive never received and in the midst of all this softness im still privy to believe that im an evil creature twisted with deceit and pain inside my sleeve
December 8, 2025 at 12:38 AM
shewontsleep.bsky.social
i
had
to
save
myself

#poem #poetry #poetrycommunity
i m okay, thanks for asking h ead just feels a little fuzzy today a nd im worried that the walls are gonna break d ribble from my guts like some untethered tapestry t rample through the drywall and pull the sickness out from me o rifices demystified and gazed upon like rotting mea ts orry, i dont mean to come off so intensely a ll these moments like a bled cassette tape spooling over endlessly v erging on being perceived with some kind of normality e nter: all the wretched nightmares taunting me with their relief m aybe youll understand if i put it this way :y ou grew into a wretched form and then had to escape s lip into a brand new shape and pray that they cant find a trace e mbody all the therapy in hope that you’ll one day be saved l ay down, close your eyes, realize you’re finally safe f ly home like a distant dream, you think about it everyday
December 3, 2025 at 2:04 AM
shewontsleep.bsky.social
“one day i am going to disappear', i said
but the nights have not yet sunk me in their daze
and the wind has yet to carry me away
my feet still patter through the air
and the tendons have grown stronger
and i hear the whisper like a breeze
shall we dance a little longer?

#poem #poetry
November 28, 2025 at 11:57 PM
shewontsleep.bsky.social
a poem about glass and healing

#poem #poetry #poetrycommunity
i severed a piece of broken glass and saw a reflection of my past staring straight back at me at first it seemed pathetic, scary but i spent more time with it and learned to know the weight it carried eventually i came to form an understanding that no part of my hurt reflected on me badly would you blame the ocean for the rising of its waves? and would you cast your judgement on the things that you create? and how can i see such a gentle expression of pain echoing through a hurt and fragile state and believe that it deserves to feel hate? i cant i wont. i think that she deserves love too
November 26, 2025 at 11:31 PM
shewontsleep.bsky.social
here are the lyrics to the song "burn" from my upcoming album "i am god?"

#musician #indie #lyrics
may we all grow fire from our hands born a gift from sifting through the ash i do not believe in “looking back” i have only ever been the past there’s a lot of people who ive been but ive never unzipped all the skin let you see the rotting fruit inside help me lick it back to something ripe may we burn and become something new im not scared of anything you do i can catch a bullet with my teeth dont you dare fucking look at me i can trace the pattern like a hole plunge inside and see how deep it goes i can show you everything i know but the knowing never makes it any better sink forever what’s the point of knowing anything when what i need is one moment of gentleness one moment of stillness one moment of peace im worried i could not ever get
November 23, 2025 at 12:26 AM
shewontsleep.bsky.social
a poem called "thirst"

#poem #poetry
i would like to drink water but we didnt have any water growing up and the moment that i get a single drop to perch my aching, cracked lips i can only pray that the well wont run dry i can only beg that ill get another sip but wanting more sips is needy off-putting, unsettling, greedy at best in the minds of those who grew up in the lake who have never known the dryness when there isn’t any rain who have never had to claw and fester for the things they got to take so easily and so freely, they never had to worry and the horrible thing about those who had their thirst quenched so fucking early is they remain in a state of hydration even when the lake runs empty so when the thunder comes down and the ache hits hard for you it felt like a drizzle for me it felt like a storm
November 20, 2025 at 10:17 PM
shewontsleep.bsky.social
a short poem about religious trauma

#poem #poetry #poetrycommunity
And you think to yourself Maybe the myths you tell yourself are true The fables that were formed within the cradle of a broken bone To keep yourself alive inside the violence of a fractured “home” Muttered like a mantra while the crucifix constricts your neck: “Perhaps I am an evil creature shaped by only crooked forms” “Perhaps I am the entity deserving of the greatest scorn” “Perhaps I’ll rot within the shadows like the sweetest crown of thorns" ”Perhaps I am the arbiter of every single layer of hurt” And there are some days where it still seems like it might be true But you try your best to let it go Because a lot of other things Could be true too
November 19, 2025 at 2:12 AM
shewontsleep.bsky.social
no more words, please

#poem #poetry #poetrycommunity
no more words, please id like to glue my pupils to the center of your gaze so i wont turn and look away in the burning moment when you finally see me will you sit with me inside my grief? will you brush your hand against my cheek? will you join your hands with mine and weep? will you kill me like ive always dreamed?
November 16, 2025 at 1:17 AM
shewontsleep.bsky.social
a poem called "Judas"

#poem #Poetry #poetrycommunity
hand of god drag me down to heaven i thought I saw your face in a painting but it was just a pastel that bore your resemblance I fell to my knees and I kissed you regardless lips of Judas send me into thunder tried to act like i wasn't scandalized by your brokenness it drew me closer to you it made me think that I could be fixed too
November 15, 2025 at 10:43 PM
shewontsleep.bsky.social
this is a poem called "caught"

CW for trauma and self-harm imagery

#poetry #poem #poetrycommunity
“The important thing is that you want to get better”, so says the Angel with the missing front tooth Eyes like tiny pearls, she saw the sickness in you And in that moment you perform an absence The same one that they cast on you And it really is cyclical, you think It really is the things we lose And in an instant you are six years old “C” screaming like a banshee “A” perching at the window “U” like a lonely widow “G” beckoning you to ”H“ Come a little closer. “T” the vision fades again And then you think it’s not about the things you lose It’s more about the things you give “The important thing is that you want to get better” And you believe that you are kind Or kindness is a part of you Like smoke that covers the horizon For fear of what intruders do When they can see the whole of it In a clear and undiluted view “The important thing is that you want to get better” And you believe that you are thoughtful But thoughtfulness is what you use To balk at confrontation Of the very things that torment you “The important thing is that you want to get better” And in a vision you are 30, 40, 50 years old And the time passed like the shaking of sand And you still struggle with it every day And you wonder how you’re supposed to keep on living
November 14, 2025 at 1:27 AM
shewontsleep.bsky.social
a short poem about pity

#poetry #poem #poetrycommunity
spare me your pity i have no use for inverted triangles raised inside the darkness of the flesh of a cage then forced to wander "normal" when i made my escape i swallow my rage like the razor blades i used to gash away the lumber of an empty frame and now my body craves its slumber like the lightning craves the thunder but i remain steadfast in my limping on to nowhere
November 11, 2025 at 12:47 AM
shewontsleep.bsky.social
i have just completed recording the song "sorry" off of my debut album "i am god?"

these are the lyrics

#musician #indie #lyrics
November 10, 2025 at 2:15 AM
shewontsleep.bsky.social
FORGIVE

#poetry #poem #poetrycommunity
November 4, 2025 at 1:33 AM
shewontsleep.bsky.social
i am shewontsleep. this is a poem called "responsibility".

#poem #poetry #poetrycommunity
October 31, 2025 at 11:21 PM
shewontsleep.bsky.social
my poem "camels" is now available

you can read the full thing here:

shewontsleep.substack.com/p/camels

#poetry #poem #queerpoetry
October 28, 2025 at 9:47 PM
shewontsleep.bsky.social
my debut album "i am god?" will be coming out this year

in the meantime, i will be posting new poems and updates here regularly

#musician #indie #experimentalmusic
October 27, 2025 at 3:38 AM
shewontsleep.bsky.social
my poem "graze" is now available

you can read the whole thing here:

shewontsleep.substack.com/p/graze

#poetry #poem #queerpoetry
October 27, 2025 at 2:26 AM