slosifl
@slosifl.bsky.social
Babysitter. Risk taker. Approachable.
Wild that I have memories of my parents being old when they were younger than me is now. They spoke so great.
November 26, 2025 at 5:43 AM
Wild that I have memories of my parents being old when they were younger than me is now. They spoke so great.
BRITISH BOY REACTS TO 145,000 SEA TURTLES HATCHING AND TRYING TO GET TO THE SEA
if i got sand in me oys id kill meself
if i got sand in me oys id kill meself
November 26, 2025 at 5:36 AM
BRITISH BOY REACTS TO 145,000 SEA TURTLES HATCHING AND TRYING TO GET TO THE SEA
if i got sand in me oys id kill meself
if i got sand in me oys id kill meself
i went to an off-site work lunch and it got crazy today. my coworker said “i have a super old car” to preface a sentence and someone else i work with asked “oh what type of old car”. It was a 2015 Honda “or something”. I have a brand new car i bought in 2015
November 26, 2025 at 5:12 AM
i went to an off-site work lunch and it got crazy today. my coworker said “i have a super old car” to preface a sentence and someone else i work with asked “oh what type of old car”. It was a 2015 Honda “or something”. I have a brand new car i bought in 2015
Remember when Lunchables had a cigarette in them?
November 24, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Remember when Lunchables had a cigarette in them?
the hole in combos lets the cheese come out so you can breathe, if you swallow it whole
November 24, 2025 at 12:07 AM
the hole in combos lets the cheese come out so you can breathe, if you swallow it whole
my toaster ai is threatening to withhold sex if i don’t toast something by monday
November 23, 2025 at 5:11 AM
my toaster ai is threatening to withhold sex if i don’t toast something by monday
Only 80s kids remember doing a “super jungle course” for 4 hours by themselves at mom’s friend’s house
November 23, 2025 at 4:10 AM
Only 80s kids remember doing a “super jungle course” for 4 hours by themselves at mom’s friend’s house
accidentally prayed to two gods and am reaping kind of upsetting rewards. it kind of works though. huh.
November 22, 2025 at 4:50 AM
accidentally prayed to two gods and am reaping kind of upsetting rewards. it kind of works though. huh.
ghost of christmas past: (9/11 happens just months earlier)
me: come on man
me: come on man
November 18, 2025 at 2:40 AM
ghost of christmas past: (9/11 happens just months earlier)
me: come on man
me: come on man
Been taking pictures of my neighbors pets and putting up posters that say to bring it to me immediately at my address. There is a lot of tension because I do not have a plan.
November 18, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Been taking pictures of my neighbors pets and putting up posters that say to bring it to me immediately at my address. There is a lot of tension because I do not have a plan.
walmart employee: i don’t think we have 5.6 grain bread
me: babe he doesn’t have it
chatgpt: you might be on to something don’t let him get away
me: babe he doesn’t have it
chatgpt: you might be on to something don’t let him get away
November 18, 2025 at 1:50 AM
walmart employee: i don’t think we have 5.6 grain bread
me: babe he doesn’t have it
chatgpt: you might be on to something don’t let him get away
me: babe he doesn’t have it
chatgpt: you might be on to something don’t let him get away
(making eye contact with the infant) here comes a airplane right toward your brainstem buddy
November 16, 2025 at 3:42 AM
(making eye contact with the infant) here comes a airplane right toward your brainstem buddy
God (next generation): and of course if you’re a mammal you’ll be fully supported through 2026
November 14, 2025 at 4:43 AM
God (next generation): and of course if you’re a mammal you’ll be fully supported through 2026
(deep within a trash pit)
voltron toy thigh: this is going to sound insane
voltron toy thigh: this is going to sound insane
November 14, 2025 at 4:09 AM
(deep within a trash pit)
voltron toy thigh: this is going to sound insane
voltron toy thigh: this is going to sound insane
God (sliding up on a MILF): mine get mad at me sometimes too
November 10, 2025 at 5:22 AM
God (sliding up on a MILF): mine get mad at me sometimes too
(running directly into a turtle)
mario missed his cue there
bad timing chris
mario missed his cue there
bad timing chris
November 10, 2025 at 4:08 AM
(running directly into a turtle)
mario missed his cue there
bad timing chris
mario missed his cue there
bad timing chris
future human expert: they certainly were rick, they certainly were
rick: fascinating. in local news,
rick: fascinating. in local news,
November 7, 2025 at 3:18 AM
future human expert: they certainly were rick, they certainly were
rick: fascinating. in local news,
rick: fascinating. in local news,
fiancée:
(flashback to me promising a witch “do whatever you want” about my firstborn to get a Super Scope 6 as a rental from Blockbuster)
me: sorry babe, no i’m here. this is great news, no really
fiancée: we’re gonna kill it honey
(flashback to me promising a witch “do whatever you want” about my firstborn to get a Super Scope 6 as a rental from Blockbuster)
me: sorry babe, no i’m here. this is great news, no really
fiancée: we’re gonna kill it honey
November 5, 2025 at 12:52 AM
fiancée:
(flashback to me promising a witch “do whatever you want” about my firstborn to get a Super Scope 6 as a rental from Blockbuster)
me: sorry babe, no i’m here. this is great news, no really
fiancée: we’re gonna kill it honey
(flashback to me promising a witch “do whatever you want” about my firstborn to get a Super Scope 6 as a rental from Blockbuster)
me: sorry babe, no i’m here. this is great news, no really
fiancée: we’re gonna kill it honey
sudo turd install helloworld
fetching helloworld
need alphabet turd….171MB installing…done
need letterz turd……212MB installing…done
need list { [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], numbos }
6.2GB installed
$./helloworld
WARNING: UNSUPPORTED GREET-WORLDLIB DETECTED
hi
$
fetching helloworld
need alphabet turd….171MB installing…done
need letterz turd……212MB installing…done
need list { [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], numbos }
6.2GB installed
$./helloworld
WARNING: UNSUPPORTED GREET-WORLDLIB DETECTED
hi
$
October 31, 2025 at 3:16 AM
sudo turd install helloworld
fetching helloworld
need alphabet turd….171MB installing…done
need letterz turd……212MB installing…done
need list { [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], numbos }
6.2GB installed
$./helloworld
WARNING: UNSUPPORTED GREET-WORLDLIB DETECTED
hi
$
fetching helloworld
need alphabet turd….171MB installing…done
need letterz turd……212MB installing…done
need list { [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], numbos }
6.2GB installed
$./helloworld
WARNING: UNSUPPORTED GREET-WORLDLIB DETECTED
hi
$
Space Alien Tourist: dude i love your guys sandwiches
October 28, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Space Alien Tourist: dude i love your guys sandwiches
how many pickles did u ate, or have aten, tonight
(A) zero
(B) 59
(C) 60
(D) 61
(A) zero
(B) 59
(C) 60
(D) 61
October 28, 2025 at 2:02 AM
how many pickles did u ate, or have aten, tonight
(A) zero
(B) 59
(C) 60
(D) 61
(A) zero
(B) 59
(C) 60
(D) 61
my step son came to me for advice
about a “seven inch pool skimmer 35 gallons per minute maximum coverage moss algae film filtered antibacterial programmable deep
clean rotating bristle six-head oscillating robot” and all i
could muster was “marry her”
about a “seven inch pool skimmer 35 gallons per minute maximum coverage moss algae film filtered antibacterial programmable deep
clean rotating bristle six-head oscillating robot” and all i
could muster was “marry her”
October 26, 2025 at 3:48 AM
my step son came to me for advice
about a “seven inch pool skimmer 35 gallons per minute maximum coverage moss algae film filtered antibacterial programmable deep
clean rotating bristle six-head oscillating robot” and all i
could muster was “marry her”
about a “seven inch pool skimmer 35 gallons per minute maximum coverage moss algae film filtered antibacterial programmable deep
clean rotating bristle six-head oscillating robot” and all i
could muster was “marry her”
They never tell you this but the 10th level of hell and up are beautiful.
October 26, 2025 at 1:19 AM
They never tell you this but the 10th level of hell and up are beautiful.
I love my neighbors. Their car has 15 doors and goddamn do they put in some serious effort to back their cars out of the driveway. Imagine if every time you left the house it took two hours to check and recheck the 15 doors. Half a tank of gas to back up into the street at 9800 RPM just to swap cars
October 21, 2025 at 3:34 AM
I love my neighbors. Their car has 15 doors and goddamn do they put in some serious effort to back their cars out of the driveway. Imagine if every time you left the house it took two hours to check and recheck the 15 doors. Half a tank of gas to back up into the street at 9800 RPM just to swap cars
a very sick horse farts in my mouth as his two tail hairs whip by
CARNIE: lucky boy
(eleven hours later)
Dad: cool george foreman grill buddy where were you
CARNIE: lucky boy
(eleven hours later)
Dad: cool george foreman grill buddy where were you
October 16, 2025 at 1:14 AM
a very sick horse farts in my mouth as his two tail hairs whip by
CARNIE: lucky boy
(eleven hours later)
Dad: cool george foreman grill buddy where were you
CARNIE: lucky boy
(eleven hours later)
Dad: cool george foreman grill buddy where were you