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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church
@smallestchurch.bsky.social
1.6K followers 730 following 3.5K posts
hey, it's me, amy. queer, insufferable, pie & raccoon influencer. she’s built like a steakhouse but she handles like a bistro. she/her https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallestchurch/works
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · Mar 6
Please enjoy: It Exists to Be Found, a (hopefully) lynchian AU wherein Stede Bonnet reads a book about pirates and sees his name next to the name Ed Teach. That night, he starts having dreams...
archiveofourown.org/works/636465...
graphic for IT EXISTS TO BE FOUND / AN OFMD AU BY SMALLESTCHURCH with text over a photo of a diner mug of coffee on a saucer in perfect pale powder blue
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 13h
i don't know but i'm glad you see it bc i BURST out laughing
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 13h
"i'm blackbeard"
gumbyscreens.bsky.social
Gumby Screens @gumbyscreens.bsky.social · 13h
Frame #3462 from E96 Kangaroo Express
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 16h
podfics are up, pals! ✨🎙️✨
ch9: soundcloud.com/user-3761719...
ch10: soundcloud.com/user-3761719...
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 18h
i just think he’s neat
cat, loafed, pink nose
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 1d
this makes me so happy!! ludicrous is such a banger and i love hearing him pop up on my various tech skeptic pods
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 1d
oh god you're fine, i never mind it from moots it's the randos that make my eyes roll back into my head 💛
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 1d
oh i love his work!
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 1d
there's a typo in everything, that's how the light gets in
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 1d
hey quick question just so i'm sure what ........... year it is, currently
screengrab of bsky trending topics listing NYC 2023
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 1d
just so the fun police know, i cannot hear you correcting or punching up my joke, i have muted the heat 2 post!!!! but please all of you enjoy yourselves in there
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 1d
not quite a pronunciation but she people say “in long island” (as opposed to “on long island”) it’s like metal in the microwave of my brain
merriam-webster.com
Merriam-Webster @merriam-webster.com · 2d
What’s the word where you’re from that, when pronounced exactly as it looks, identifies a tourist immediately?
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Reposted by smallest church
davidzinn.bsky.social
David Zinn @davidzinn.bsky.social · 1d
The first falling leaves of October are all it takes to lift Phoebe's spirit.
sidewalk chalk drawing of a ghost smiling up at yellow leaves that have fallen on her head
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 2d
listen, i always put it back in!!! 💛💛
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 2d
looking for a purse hook under the bar for several minutes (there are no purse hooks)
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 2d
😭😭😭
cheersm3dears.bsky.social
rae 🏴‍☠️🏳️‍🌈 @cheersm3dears.bsky.social · 2d
Question: will I ever be able to listen to Fast Car (the song) without immediately needing to relisten to Fast Car (the masterpiece)?

(is this a problem? unsure 🤔)

(it's not)
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Reposted by smallest church
ladypenni.bsky.social
Lady Penni @ladypenni.bsky.social · 3d
#OFMD #MyMilkshakeBringsAllTheBoysToTheYard
#TheGentlemanTwinkieIPresume
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 2d
why call it Heat 2 when you could call it Reheat
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Reposted by smallest church
ghostalservice.bsky.social
Lis is writing you a lovely postcard 💌💙 @ghostalservice.bsky.social · 3d
I AM ENJOYING THIS SO MUCH

WHAT A GORGEOUS LUSH WEIRD ESCAPE
smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 3d
dispatch from chapter 9
"What did you DO?" Lucius blurts. Stede jams his fingers into his eyeballs. Well you see I was personally invited to his private studio where he hypnotized me with his big brown eyes and I momentarily forgot that it's widely preferred by societal standards to keep one's most insane thoughts on the inside and found myself confessing that I've had a series of intense and increasingly erotic dreams about him as a notorious 18th century pirate-to answer your next question: yes, a pirate, yar matey booty et cetera-and then asked him, and you won't believe this, whether he might know what that meant, when I should have realized that what it meant was no, Lucius, we cannot invite him to the gala because I have to give a stuffy speech to honor the company's legacy and not accidentally pepper it with pirate words because I'm so humiliated to be alive that I slowly turn into a seagull and die on stage in front of my colleagues and friends- Lucius continues, unmoved by Stede's angry silence. "Olu, am I mad? You were there for that meeting, you saw what I saw, did you not? "I did," Olu sighs. He sounds exhausted. "And yet, he sits here, he looks me in the eyes, and he tells me he doesn't want to see the man who took a wrong left turn on his way to the generationally talented cover model audition only to accidentally stumble into the room labeled ICONIC FASHION DESIGNER instead, wearing whatever it is a gorgeous tattooed leather daddy wears to a black tie event? Have I died and gone to gay hell?" "You say everything is gay hell," Olu says. "Last week you said going to the open mic night to see Pete play guitar was gay hell." "He played 'Creep," Lucius spits. "I stand by it." "And you CRIED," Olu says. "I said no," Stede cuts in. "Enough."
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 2d
loving this brand new photo of my terrible son, he looks quite charming (and ... delicious?)
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Reposted by smallest church
flagmeanssteph.bsky.social
edward teach is a very good boy 🍉🏳️‍🌈 @flagmeanssteph.bsky.social · 2d
a little stretch of this chapter that had my heart rate skyrocketing lmao
smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 2d
dispatch from chapter ten ✨☕️✨
And gravity takes over, reverses, spins, like Ed drops straight through the mattress and lands on the ceiling. Ed's eyes shoot open to find hands, their hands, resting on Stede's bare chest. He's pale, bruised, dead to the world-but somehow, his chest goes down and up and down, shallow, slower than Ed's, but faster than the ship. The ship, the ship they are on, Ed's ship? He looks around. No. Nice furniture, books. One chandelier, two. Stede's. Ed studies him. A gut stab, certainly. And a massive one—no rapier. Also a hanging, maybe. Why does he know that? Stede whimpers in pain, bringing Ed's attention back. His brow furrows, his breath shudders. Ed feels real fear. It can't end like this, it was just beginning, there is so much more for them. There has to be. Ed squeezes his hand, I'm here, and- The world goes black. Gravity pulls him down, down, until he is almost fetal, knees up. The light is dim, golden. He is still on Stede's ship, but also he is tucked into a space that fits him. Holds him. Molds to him, almost. A bathtub. Claw feet, amber light. Candlelight. A bathroom without faucets. He is crying. He has done something very bad. But Stede is there. He wears black, and it makes him look like a floating head in the dim. Stede puts a hand on his shoulder, to comfort him, and Ed leans right into it, presses his cheek to his warmth. Stede squeezes, and— The bathtub dumps him. Tumbling through space and time, he grasps for Stede, anywhere, nowhere. Somehow, he can feel it, it is coming, the splash, the freezing cold, the weightless fathomless nothing, but then— "Ed." A warm grip on his cold hand, squeezing. There is only blackness and a voice and a hand. "Ed!" A desperate grip, desperate words, a desperate pulsing blackness. "Come back to me," he pleads, but Ed can't, he's still under, there is only cold, too cold to swim, only dark, only— "Please don't die," he says, with all the feeling Ed's too cowardly to show. "Ed, wake up, WAKE UP-" And he is there but he is not, he is there but he is beneath the world, he is lost but Stede squeezes his hand until the tendons grind, and he is here, he is right here, ship at his back and air in his mouth, his heart racing again, finally, fully, and he sits up fast, clanging their skulls together and it all goes black again—
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 2d
💛💛💛
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 2d
thank you, this passage is dedicated to my BIL who insists on singing that song at karaoke EVERY time 🥴
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Reposted by smallest church
knivesinfeet.bsky.social
KnivesInFeet @knivesinfeet.bsky.social · 3d
THIS. FIC. 😱🤯😱
smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 4d
please enjoy chapters nine and ten at your leisure, they are hot and fresh 4 u xx ✨☕️✨
archiveofourown.org/works/636465...
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 2d
stede bonnet ofmd speech bubble
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church @smallestchurch.bsky.social · 2d
dispatch from chapter ten ✨☕️✨
And gravity takes over, reverses, spins, like Ed drops straight through the mattress and lands on the ceiling. Ed's eyes shoot open to find hands, their hands, resting on Stede's bare chest. He's pale, bruised, dead to the world-but somehow, his chest goes down and up and down, shallow, slower than Ed's, but faster than the ship. The ship, the ship they are on, Ed's ship? He looks around. No. Nice furniture, books. One chandelier, two. Stede's. Ed studies him. A gut stab, certainly. And a massive one—no rapier. Also a hanging, maybe. Why does he know that? Stede whimpers in pain, bringing Ed's attention back. His brow furrows, his breath shudders. Ed feels real fear. It can't end like this, it was just beginning, there is so much more for them. There has to be. Ed squeezes his hand, I'm here, and- The world goes black. Gravity pulls him down, down, until he is almost fetal, knees up. The light is dim, golden. He is still on Stede's ship, but also he is tucked into a space that fits him. Holds him. Molds to him, almost. A bathtub. Claw feet, amber light. Candlelight. A bathroom without faucets. He is crying. He has done something very bad. But Stede is there. He wears black, and it makes him look like a floating head in the dim. Stede puts a hand on his shoulder, to comfort him, and Ed leans right into it, presses his cheek to his warmth. Stede squeezes, and— The bathtub dumps him. Tumbling through space and time, he grasps for Stede, anywhere, nowhere. Somehow, he can feel it, it is coming, the splash, the freezing cold, the weightless fathomless nothing, but then— "Ed." A warm grip on his cold hand, squeezing. There is only blackness and a voice and a hand. "Ed!" A desperate grip, desperate words, a desperate pulsing blackness. "Come back to me," he pleads, but Ed can't, he's still under, there is only cold, too cold to swim, only dark, only— "Please don't die," he says, with all the feeling Ed's too cowardly to show. "Ed, wake up, WAKE UP-" And he is there but he is not, he is there but he is beneath the world, he is lost but Stede squeezes his hand until the tendons grind, and he is here, he is right here, ship at his back and air in his mouth, his heart racing again, finally, fully, and he sits up fast, clanging their skulls together and it all goes black again—
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