smallest church
@smallestchurch.bsky.social
hey, it's me, amy. queer, insufferable, pie & raccoon influencer. she’s built like a steakhouse but she handles like a bistro. she/her
https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallestchurch/works
https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallestchurch/works
Pinned
Please enjoy: It Exists to Be Found, a (hopefully) lynchian AU wherein Stede Bonnet reads a book about pirates and sees his name next to the name Ed Teach. That night, he starts having dreams...
archiveofourown.org/works/636465...
archiveofourown.org/works/636465...
Reposted by smallest church
We don't see color 😌
– Pantone, the world's foremost authority on color
– Pantone, the world's foremost authority on color
December 6, 2025 at 9:24 PM
We don't see color 😌
– Pantone, the world's foremost authority on color
– Pantone, the world's foremost authority on color
Reposted by smallest church
HEY USA FRIENDS it’s holiday season at the post office so here’s my annual thread on how to make all of your postal workers have a nicer month!
1. Be nice and prepared if you’re mailing things! You might have to wait! Still be polite and click the smiley face on the stupid little screen!
1. Be nice and prepared if you’re mailing things! You might have to wait! Still be polite and click the smiley face on the stupid little screen!
December 4, 2025 at 7:10 PM
HEY USA FRIENDS it’s holiday season at the post office so here’s my annual thread on how to make all of your postal workers have a nicer month!
1. Be nice and prepared if you’re mailing things! You might have to wait! Still be polite and click the smiley face on the stupid little screen!
1. Be nice and prepared if you’re mailing things! You might have to wait! Still be polite and click the smiley face on the stupid little screen!
in most cases i am team "they tell you to vote with your wallet bc they have bigger wallets" but sp0tify is certified evil, an adtech firm that chose music at random for small file sizes, a defense contractor that exists solely to rob and sideline artists and spy on you. i won't give my money to DHS
Spotify has laid off thousands in recent years, while reportedly paying artists $0.003 per stream.
Spotify profits rose 28% in Q3. Its CEO is worth $9.8 billion. It's making money off ICE recruitment ads.
Don't you think it's time put a wrap on corporate greed and exploitation?
Spotify profits rose 28% in Q3. Its CEO is worth $9.8 billion. It's making money off ICE recruitment ads.
Don't you think it's time put a wrap on corporate greed and exploitation?
December 4, 2025 at 9:36 PM
in most cases i am team "they tell you to vote with your wallet bc they have bigger wallets" but sp0tify is certified evil, an adtech firm that chose music at random for small file sizes, a defense contractor that exists solely to rob and sideline artists and spy on you. i won't give my money to DHS
my ao3 stats are my one finished short fic (love me different) and my one WIP long fic (SORRY IT'S COMING I SWEAR) and i barely read at all because this was the year to TOTALLY LOCK IN to this draft rewrite, i live in it, i dream about it, i won a grant for it, i am in my stubborn scorp era
December 4, 2025 at 7:44 PM
my ao3 stats are my one finished short fic (love me different) and my one WIP long fic (SORRY IT'S COMING I SWEAR) and i barely read at all because this was the year to TOTALLY LOCK IN to this draft rewrite, i live in it, i dream about it, i won a grant for it, i am in my stubborn scorp era
try to fold it. go ahead. i fucking dare you
December 4, 2025 at 3:18 AM
try to fold it. go ahead. i fucking dare you
when i tell you i am CRYING
December 3, 2025 at 11:53 PM
when i tell you i am CRYING
receiving word that claude the albino alligator at cal academy has died 😭
December 2, 2025 at 10:04 PM
receiving word that claude the albino alligator at cal academy has died 😭
inhaled two chapters of this over coffee this morning AND YOU SHOULD TOO
She's here! My 3:10 to Yuma AU with @intheblanketfort.bsky.social for the OFMD Big Bang is posted for your pleasure. Good horses! Sharp-shooting! Happy endings that fly in the face of the source material! Link below. The art is truly next level and this is about to become a Caly appreciation blog.
December 2, 2025 at 5:10 PM
inhaled two chapters of this over coffee this morning AND YOU SHOULD TOO
Reposted by smallest church
reverse advent calendar where I scream a little scream into each tiny box and close it up tight
December 1, 2025 at 10:27 PM
reverse advent calendar where I scream a little scream into each tiny box and close it up tight
chair company finale what the fuck
December 2, 2025 at 1:14 AM
chair company finale what the fuck
when the lights r on but nobody’s home
November 29, 2025 at 3:49 PM
when the lights r on but nobody’s home
i truly don’t know. big messy human feelings, communication struggles, big-hearted trying, recurring bits, sensory details, vague geography often inspired by san francisco, public transit, dinner, grief as growth, conflict as intimacy
recurring abs fic things: oatmilk, stede gets nose kisses, dolphin hatred, men crying, no sex at the climax even if its rated E, no caps on proper nouns, “this rocks”, repeating homonyms or two words spelled the same that mean something different, hm tell me if i missed any or quote w ur own!
November 28, 2025 at 2:49 PM
i truly don’t know. big messy human feelings, communication struggles, big-hearted trying, recurring bits, sensory details, vague geography often inspired by san francisco, public transit, dinner, grief as growth, conflict as intimacy
just bragging on my guinness pie
November 27, 2025 at 10:32 PM
just bragging on my guinness pie
hello from the prize turkey
November 27, 2025 at 3:44 PM
hello from the prize turkey
i yap way too much but it took me SO LONG to figure out why “car” was so big, i was like there is no way i post about my car more than my cat or my pies 😂
bskyinsights.com
bskyinsights.com
November 27, 2025 at 2:18 PM
i yap way too much but it took me SO LONG to figure out why “car” was so big, i was like there is no way i post about my car more than my cat or my pies 😂
bskyinsights.com
bskyinsights.com
this thread reminded me that i once made a zine of NYT cooking comments as a patreon reward, pls enjoy 🔪🍎🍋🍸
November 26, 2025 at 7:47 PM
this thread reminded me that i once made a zine of NYT cooking comments as a patreon reward, pls enjoy 🔪🍎🍋🍸
tell me what you're cooking that you're excited about! i love kitchen drama. i am forgoing the turkey in favor of a low and very slow braise of some good brisket in guinness that will ultimately be a pie. and since dinner is pie, dessert will be be a cranberry cheesecake.
November 26, 2025 at 5:16 PM
tell me what you're cooking that you're excited about! i love kitchen drama. i am forgoing the turkey in favor of a low and very slow braise of some good brisket in guinness that will ultimately be a pie. and since dinner is pie, dessert will be be a cranberry cheesecake.
here, a lil it exists to be found wip : )
November 26, 2025 at 4:56 PM
here, a lil it exists to be found wip : )
here it is, everyone, the horniest song you can put on your thanksgiving playlist www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAO_...
Gravy (For My Mashed Potatoes)
YouTube video by Dee Dee Sharp - Topic
www.youtube.com
November 26, 2025 at 4:21 PM
here it is, everyone, the horniest song you can put on your thanksgiving playlist www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAO_...
lots of fast car talk lately, so here is your reminder that if you need something to read this long weekend, fast car exists and is complete and rumors of its intolerable angst are greatly exaggerated : ) and i love you
profile looks naked without fast car pinned there, so here it is, the fast car post i will pin, plus now if you want to read fast car, here is the link: archiveofourown.org/works/543162...
November 26, 2025 at 3:00 PM
lots of fast car talk lately, so here is your reminder that if you need something to read this long weekend, fast car exists and is complete and rumors of its intolerable angst are greatly exaggerated : ) and i love you
here once again to beat the libro dot fm rules drum
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Shop the sale: libro.fm/sale/all
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Shop the sale: libro.fm/sale/all
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libro.fm
November 25, 2025 at 10:29 PM
here once again to beat the libro dot fm rules drum
[to the tune of bad company by the band bad company from the album bad company] chair company
November 25, 2025 at 1:46 AM
[to the tune of bad company by the band bad company from the album bad company] chair company
not doing the meme bc it wasn’t a character or villain that traumatized me, i have weirdly none of those? it was this scene, which was like someone crawled down inside my personal anxiety, animated it, and set it to a plodding scherzo
November 24, 2025 at 1:16 PM
not doing the meme bc it wasn’t a character or villain that traumatized me, i have weirdly none of those? it was this scene, which was like someone crawled down inside my personal anxiety, animated it, and set it to a plodding scherzo