smithdidit
@smithdidit.bsky.social
Heroic, yet slightly vulnerable.
Water into wine may have worked 2000 years ago.
But coffee into cocaine is today's miracle.
But coffee into cocaine is today's miracle.
January 30, 2026 at 10:56 PM
Water into wine may have worked 2000 years ago.
But coffee into cocaine is today's miracle.
But coffee into cocaine is today's miracle.
Hoping to make it through my next Zoom call without someone getting shot at by an ICE agent at point blank range.
January 27, 2026 at 8:06 AM
Hoping to make it through my next Zoom call without someone getting shot at by an ICE agent at point blank range.
If ICE has a softball team, they must be a real bunch of pricks.
January 25, 2026 at 6:14 AM
If ICE has a softball team, they must be a real bunch of pricks.
I try to use humor to be funny.
January 23, 2026 at 8:08 AM
I try to use humor to be funny.
I’ve been living life on the edge recently. Tonight I did a load of laundry without using fabric softener—and let me tell you—that static cling is no joke.
January 21, 2026 at 7:34 AM
I’ve been living life on the edge recently. Tonight I did a load of laundry without using fabric softener—and let me tell you—that static cling is no joke.
Considering where we're at now, looking back maybe we should have rolled the dice with with Sarah Palin. It couldn't be any worse than it is now 'eh dar?
January 21, 2026 at 6:25 AM
Considering where we're at now, looking back maybe we should have rolled the dice with with Sarah Palin. It couldn't be any worse than it is now 'eh dar?
Green Acres = Good
Greenland = Bad
Green Tea = Good
Green Bay Packers = Bad
Mean Joe Greene = Good
Marjorie Taylor Greene = Bad
Green Day = Good
Gangrene = Bad
Greenland = Bad
Green Tea = Good
Green Bay Packers = Bad
Mean Joe Greene = Good
Marjorie Taylor Greene = Bad
Green Day = Good
Gangrene = Bad
January 21, 2026 at 6:20 AM
Green Acres = Good
Greenland = Bad
Green Tea = Good
Green Bay Packers = Bad
Mean Joe Greene = Good
Marjorie Taylor Greene = Bad
Green Day = Good
Gangrene = Bad
Greenland = Bad
Green Tea = Good
Green Bay Packers = Bad
Mean Joe Greene = Good
Marjorie Taylor Greene = Bad
Green Day = Good
Gangrene = Bad
After we take Greenland, what sports league will be the first to put an expansion team there?
January 21, 2026 at 5:48 AM
After we take Greenland, what sports league will be the first to put an expansion team there?
Fuck it. We should just take New Zealand.
January 19, 2026 at 10:09 PM
Fuck it. We should just take New Zealand.
I never stopped hoarding toilet paper.
January 18, 2026 at 12:55 AM
I never stopped hoarding toilet paper.
The Bears have come a long way since Craig Krenzel.
January 11, 2026 at 6:20 AM
The Bears have come a long way since Craig Krenzel.
If ICE wanted to make themselves useful they’d put Walmart greeters out of their misery and shoot them in the face.
January 9, 2026 at 6:50 AM
If ICE wanted to make themselves useful they’d put Walmart greeters out of their misery and shoot them in the face.
ICE is so poorly managed and trained they're shooting white people in the face. #MinnesotaNice
January 8, 2026 at 1:55 AM
ICE is so poorly managed and trained they're shooting white people in the face. #MinnesotaNice
How soon will it take El Presidete to pardon the ICE Agent that shot the Minneapolis woman in the face today?
January 7, 2026 at 11:33 PM
How soon will it take El Presidete to pardon the ICE Agent that shot the Minneapolis woman in the face today?
7 days into the new year and I'm begging to go back to 2025.
January 7, 2026 at 10:59 PM
7 days into the new year and I'm begging to go back to 2025.
It would be pretty funny if deposed Venezuelan leader Nicolás Maduro got to court and they charged him with overdue parking tickets.
January 5, 2026 at 5:03 PM
It would be pretty funny if deposed Venezuelan leader Nicolás Maduro got to court and they charged him with overdue parking tickets.
I didn't know we could walk into a foreign country and arrest the President. That's pretty cool.
January 4, 2026 at 6:05 PM
I didn't know we could walk into a foreign country and arrest the President. That's pretty cool.
Why stop at Venezuela? Let's invade Vatican City.
January 3, 2026 at 11:25 PM
Why stop at Venezuela? Let's invade Vatican City.
If American's can at least get a free round-trip to Venezuela for all of this maybe it's worth it. #SpringBreak
January 3, 2026 at 10:26 PM
If American's can at least get a free round-trip to Venezuela for all of this maybe it's worth it. #SpringBreak
@halsparks.com Is there any upside to invading Venezuela? Do you think we'll get a more economical price on cocaine?
January 3, 2026 at 6:55 PM
@halsparks.com Is there any upside to invading Venezuela? Do you think we'll get a more economical price on cocaine?
If we're going to heal as a country, we have to get past the Goo Goo Dolls as musical entertainment. Can we at least agree on that?
January 1, 2026 at 5:42 AM
If we're going to heal as a country, we have to get past the Goo Goo Dolls as musical entertainment. Can we at least agree on that?
Secretary of War Pete Hegseth vows to drone strike Santa if he enters Venezuela's air space.
#MerryChristmas
#MerryChristmas
December 25, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Secretary of War Pete Hegseth vows to drone strike Santa if he enters Venezuela's air space.
#MerryChristmas
#MerryChristmas
If you have a friend that skips ahead in his playlist to hear the Limp Bizkit song, you have a friend that's going to get you in trouble.
December 16, 2025 at 6:19 AM
If you have a friend that skips ahead in his playlist to hear the Limp Bizkit song, you have a friend that's going to get you in trouble.
If we can't drone strike boats allegedly carrying drugs to the US as they race through the Caribbean Sea (aka the American Sea), than how are we going to justify drone strikes of migrant caravans allegedly carrying drugs to our border?
December 2, 2025 at 5:50 AM
If we can't drone strike boats allegedly carrying drugs to the US as they race through the Caribbean Sea (aka the American Sea), than how are we going to justify drone strikes of migrant caravans allegedly carrying drugs to our border?
In many ways my childhood toy, the Magic Eight Ball was way more accurate than ChatGPT.
November 30, 2025 at 5:47 AM
In many ways my childhood toy, the Magic Eight Ball was way more accurate than ChatGPT.