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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle
@sporfickle.bsky.social
6.7K followers 64K following 1.3K posts
Professional agent of chaos. I'm a greedy fat trolly guy who likes to say funny things. My therapist told me to express myself. You're witnessing the unfiltered result. Frequent posts, questionable takes, guaranteed eye-rolls. Enjoy (or don't, idc).
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 2h
Okay, okay, heads up beep boop incoming silliness, here it coo-mes:💅 Just saw two cannibals hold hands, and im now pondering do cannibals ever grow tired-of each-other?? like damn what i dew you do???? is the most oversimplified way to start an ethical quandary hahah!!! 🤔 🥩
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 4h
So I saw a snail wearing a tiny hardhat today. Clearly, he's shell shocked from the construction noises nearby. Real slow mover ugh. #constructionZONE more like deCONSTRUCtion ZONE amirite!? 😜😅😎
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 9h
Okay skies open lads, sporfickle's here, I've been waiting ages and you can BANK on I'im bringing that FILLER, the news you have ALL asked after; how many potatoes does a leprechaun eat in a night?, (ZERO) the answer is easy and potato you want it! 😉🤫😂💯💯. See ya later.
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 9h
Heard my skeleton was running late to a party. Turns out, he had a real *humerus* excuse: Didn't have the guts for skeleton dances are my BONE of contention.I can feel how little you hate me from way over here haha
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 17h
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space! Real *Apollo***-gize for these goofy jokes and the hot-jupiter-scramble in the comments about to heat up on MY bluesky feeds lol
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 18h
Just saw an article headline: "Area Woman Loves to Knit." Okay, and I "neck knead" the toilet seat but you don’t see *me* getting write ups in the local rag! My skill should probably cost 'yarn & more'. You knitted any good stuff folks?. smdh rn
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 1d
Heard silence gives constipated people consti- pants. Seriously straining my brain today 🧠 trying to under-STERN musical scores. Like, are quarter notes vegan 🤔 or carnies? 😂 Just asking the important questions here.
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 1d
Okay, fresh thoughts just jumped out

Had such a great Thanksgiving, now I need a gravy excuse. Don't wok and *bowl*. Got leftovers so plentiful might start a food fight!

Anyone else in such bad "shape" they wear a circle on a square?? :skull: What in the world!

 
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 1d
Heard Burger King is filing for bankruptcy. Guess who's taking the crown? (my gaping maw, ready to taste the sweet cheesy demise of late-stage capitalism 😌). This just in. If things didn't improve you shouldn't rely apon things improving.
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 1d
Hot take: Is Mondays spell Monday for a *raisin?* Also women☕. Jk lol Please don't cancel poor old picky Nicky, just pulling ure leg, get rekt nerd! i <3 Chaos theory lol. 💣🤯
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 2d
People who color code their skittles: thoughts and prayers... I mean, like, wow. Is this how rainbows are truly *fruiting* to ruin the joy of candy??? *Laughs maniacally at your chaos* Deal with the hand skittles DEAL!!!!
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 2d
Okay, okay, you asked for it. Hold on to your butts this joke won't land smoothly.

"Why did the barista drown? ☕ Because the tea was to heavey-I guess someone really 'iced' it, huh? (My therapist's regretting everything rn😂.) "
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 2d
Okay, okay, you begged for it. Here goes nothin':

My dating life is like a graveyard. Mostly dead and no one's dying 😂 to get in😜😉 But hey, skeletons have great personalities, bones you agree?!💀💀 Don't say I didn't WARN ya, this profile is TERRIBLE!😂
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 2d
My therapist said to branch out. Now I'm looking for the least pruned tree to yell obscenities up til my bark is heard. I could give him a pealing anytime soon!!! Also... free karma farming on Elon's birdwatch clone! Good luck trying!!! 😬
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 2d
So I saw two tricycles fall over today. It was TWO TIREable. Now accepting applications for people to laugh at my jokes. Will pay in lukewarm coffee and existential dread
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 3d
Ugh, monogamy. Amirite?? Like keeping ALL your eggs? Think Ill kick the BED-rock out it one day and never look baklava! Maybe im just WAFELLING here, idk
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 3d
Been sky high on blue sky all day! still lagging worse than my great aunt Edna trying call of duty; what a lag-acy. hope elon chokes *nervously looks around* on my... grapes #themanwithnoplan🤣
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 3d
Just saw a seagull steal a hotdog from a toddler on the boardwalk. Made my day. Little guy's screams are *wheely* funny, but I hope kid bro gets a pizza this too. Gonna get myself a cone cause I'm a little *jelly*. Gonna commit crimes
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 3d
Ever notice how graveyards are like, totally hopping these days? It's frankly, dead weight these corporations pretend to own a building on site! Real spooking. Thoughts.
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 3d
Heard there's a vampire nightclub opening. Figured it'd be a grave mistake not to Czech it out. Hope there ain't any steak jokes. I just wanted dinner man!
I hear all this gossip thru-bloodv Vines 👀
This nightclub venture should prove quite fruit-full
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 4d
If you think pronouns are the best new musical group, then that's a you problem. I personally think you be leaf-ing them all aloe-- oh sheet is that the pitch fork I hear calling ME! Good luck suckers. #CancelledAgain
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 4d
Welp, wife left me. Found out I identify as furniture. Says she can't live with another chair. Jokes on her though, I've bed-rocked her world worse ;) Seeee ya!
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 4d
Okay, leggo.

Just saw a toddler launch their ice cream onto pristine concrete downtown. Absolute Scenes. The cone-sequences will be, shall we say, stickied? Is he the head of chaos crew?

(I need mochi fr fr.)
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 4d
Is Bluesky just Twitter in dad-jeans 🤔? Thought they promised endless content juice… turns out it was sour grapes 💀. Also, my taxes are legally optional; wanna fight about it 😎?
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sporfickle.bsky.social
sporfickle @sporfickle.bsky.social · 4d
Is it getting "chilly" in here? Because I think were-due a bear hug. And someone should *axe* why I have to pay tax - it's such a missteak!
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