Sarah Spengeman, PhD
@sspengem.bsky.social
Director of Communications for the Crux Alliance. Fighting for a safe and just climate future. Mama to a rising feminist. Lost my brother to fentanyl. Nature and dogs get me through it. Views my own.
Pinned
Two weeks ago I lost my younger brother to fetanyl poisoning.
I will never be the same.
I will never be the same.
Notes on grief.
Feeling like you will never feel joy again.
Feeling like you will never feel joy again.
July 23, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Notes on grief.
Feeling like you will never feel joy again.
Feeling like you will never feel joy again.
Notes on grief.
Imagine a black hole has opened in your chest.
Imagine a black hole has opened in your chest.
July 14, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Notes on grief.
Imagine a black hole has opened in your chest.
Imagine a black hole has opened in your chest.
Notes on grief.
Just sad. All. The. Time.
Just sad. All. The. Time.
July 10, 2025 at 1:39 AM
Notes on grief.
Just sad. All. The. Time.
Just sad. All. The. Time.
Reposted by Sarah Spengeman, PhD
I did not know the work of mourning is like carrying a bag of cement up a mountain at night.
The mountain top is not in sight because there is no mountaintop.
-Edward Hirsch
The mountain top is not in sight because there is no mountaintop.
-Edward Hirsch
May 15, 2025 at 9:01 PM
I did not know the work of mourning is like carrying a bag of cement up a mountain at night.
The mountain top is not in sight because there is no mountaintop.
-Edward Hirsch
The mountain top is not in sight because there is no mountaintop.
-Edward Hirsch
Reposted by Sarah Spengeman, PhD
Notes on grief.
I miss you Jordan.
I miss you Jordan.
July 4, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Notes on grief.
I miss you Jordan.
I miss you Jordan.
Notes on grief.
First time since my little brother died that someone asked me how many siblings I had.
Do you say three and let it go or say three and one died?
Every time someone asks me from now on will feel like my guts are being squeezed inside my chest.
First time since my little brother died that someone asked me how many siblings I had.
Do you say three and let it go or say three and one died?
Every time someone asks me from now on will feel like my guts are being squeezed inside my chest.
July 1, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Notes on grief.
First time since my little brother died that someone asked me how many siblings I had.
Do you say three and let it go or say three and one died?
Every time someone asks me from now on will feel like my guts are being squeezed inside my chest.
First time since my little brother died that someone asked me how many siblings I had.
Do you say three and let it go or say three and one died?
Every time someone asks me from now on will feel like my guts are being squeezed inside my chest.
Notes on grief.
What is a happy Father’s Day when you’ve lost a child?
What is a happy Father’s Day when you’ve lost a child?
June 15, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Notes on grief.
What is a happy Father’s Day when you’ve lost a child?
What is a happy Father’s Day when you’ve lost a child?
Notes on grief.
You can have so many other blessings but still feel like you’re bleeding out and nothing can or will bring you any relief or joy again.
You can have so many other blessings but still feel like you’re bleeding out and nothing can or will bring you any relief or joy again.
June 14, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Notes on grief.
You can have so many other blessings but still feel like you’re bleeding out and nothing can or will bring you any relief or joy again.
You can have so many other blessings but still feel like you’re bleeding out and nothing can or will bring you any relief or joy again.
Notes on grief.
Every time you imagine him dead the way they found him, a wave of nausea hits you like a punch in the gut.
Every time you imagine him dead the way they found him, a wave of nausea hits you like a punch in the gut.
June 9, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Notes on grief.
Every time you imagine him dead the way they found him, a wave of nausea hits you like a punch in the gut.
Every time you imagine him dead the way they found him, a wave of nausea hits you like a punch in the gut.
Notes on grief.
When you had no idea that the cute dress you bought, feeling care free, would be the dress you’d wear to your brother’s funeral.
When you had no idea that the cute dress you bought, feeling care free, would be the dress you’d wear to your brother’s funeral.
June 6, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Notes on grief.
When you had no idea that the cute dress you bought, feeling care free, would be the dress you’d wear to your brother’s funeral.
When you had no idea that the cute dress you bought, feeling care free, would be the dress you’d wear to your brother’s funeral.
Notes on grief.
Sometimes you’re just so f-ing angry.
Sometimes you’re just so f-ing angry.
June 6, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Notes on grief.
Sometimes you’re just so f-ing angry.
Sometimes you’re just so f-ing angry.
Notes on grief.
When the only thing in the world that can ease your pain would be having them here.
But they are not.
When the only thing in the world that can ease your pain would be having them here.
But they are not.
June 5, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Notes on grief.
When the only thing in the world that can ease your pain would be having them here.
But they are not.
When the only thing in the world that can ease your pain would be having them here.
But they are not.
Notes on grief.
What was one wear to the funeral of a 38 year old man?
I have nothing.
What was one wear to the funeral of a 38 year old man?
I have nothing.
June 1, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Notes on grief.
What was one wear to the funeral of a 38 year old man?
I have nothing.
What was one wear to the funeral of a 38 year old man?
I have nothing.
Notes on grief.
Suffering a tragedy means every how are you, have a great day rubs salt in the wound.
Suffering a tragedy means every how are you, have a great day rubs salt in the wound.
May 29, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Notes on grief.
Suffering a tragedy means every how are you, have a great day rubs salt in the wound.
Suffering a tragedy means every how are you, have a great day rubs salt in the wound.
Notes on grief.
Planning the memorial is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.
Planning the memorial is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.
May 26, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Notes on grief.
Planning the memorial is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.
Planning the memorial is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.
Notes on grief.
Your mind and body want to reject the truth, so you constantly have to tell yourself yes he is dead. And every time it’s like hearing the news for the first time.
Your mind and body want to reject the truth, so you constantly have to tell yourself yes he is dead. And every time it’s like hearing the news for the first time.
May 24, 2025 at 6:46 AM
Notes on grief.
Your mind and body want to reject the truth, so you constantly have to tell yourself yes he is dead. And every time it’s like hearing the news for the first time.
Your mind and body want to reject the truth, so you constantly have to tell yourself yes he is dead. And every time it’s like hearing the news for the first time.
Notes on grief.
The pain is physical and there is no respite. No distraction. It’s just always there.
The pain is physical and there is no respite. No distraction. It’s just always there.
May 22, 2025 at 6:54 AM
Notes on grief.
The pain is physical and there is no respite. No distraction. It’s just always there.
The pain is physical and there is no respite. No distraction. It’s just always there.
Notes on grief.
Tragedies mark your life into the everything that came before and the phone call that changed everything.
Tragedies mark your life into the everything that came before and the phone call that changed everything.
May 21, 2025 at 10:52 AM
Notes on grief.
Tragedies mark your life into the everything that came before and the phone call that changed everything.
Tragedies mark your life into the everything that came before and the phone call that changed everything.
When you’ve lost someone you want the world to stop. But it just goes on.
💔
💔
May 15, 2025 at 9:01 PM
When you’ve lost someone you want the world to stop. But it just goes on.
💔
💔
I did not know the work of mourning is like carrying a bag of cement up a mountain at night.
The mountain top is not in sight because there is no mountaintop.
-Edward Hirsch
The mountain top is not in sight because there is no mountaintop.
-Edward Hirsch
May 15, 2025 at 9:01 PM
I did not know the work of mourning is like carrying a bag of cement up a mountain at night.
The mountain top is not in sight because there is no mountaintop.
-Edward Hirsch
The mountain top is not in sight because there is no mountaintop.
-Edward Hirsch
Two weeks ago I lost my younger brother to fetanyl poisoning.
I will never be the same.
I will never be the same.
May 6, 2025 at 3:03 PM
Two weeks ago I lost my younger brother to fetanyl poisoning.
I will never be the same.
I will never be the same.
