Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 17h

Fact: If you put all your airport receipts on top of one another, then fold them in half, you have a tiny book that tells the story of why you don't have money anymore.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 20h

Our new Ann Summers opened today! We have a giant inflatable to let people kno...oh ffs.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 20h

Uses fire alarms as cooking timers, that's the one!

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 20h

And that was just economy.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 23h

This was a typical top deck configuration in an early 747. Look how people mingled back in the day, no phones or iPads. Also, notice how passengers dressed so much better. No shorts here or flip flops. Boeing really have lost their way.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 1d

Fact: For safety reasons, a pilot and copilot are not allowed to eat the same meal my girlfriend makes.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 1d

Do you have little ones who are nervous about flying? This is a great bedtime read before you go.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 1d

A lot of passengers ask if they can approach our sniffer dogs. If you follow our guide, you can.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 1d

That's art.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 1d

We launched our Courtesy Campaign today!

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 1d

Very strange. We've got a surprise visit from the Civil Aviation Authority, but we can't find our Head of Safety anywhere.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 1d

Ha! We're not far behind truth be told...

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 1d

The world’s largest helium aircraft had a test flight here today! The Air Lander launch was very nearly cancelled after the outer skin tore badly but, as you can see here, we persuaded an American tourist to lend their cycling shorts and it saved the day.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 2d

Ahhh, it makes sense now.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 3d

Frank.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 3d

So sweet. One of our sniffer dogs enjoying his break in the Bahamas with his new mate Dave. Lovely to see.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 3d

This has just arrived for Kev in Air Traffic. It's a very unusual gift for his girlfriend's birthday, but he's adamant it's what she wants. He checked her search history and he says it's what she googles the most.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 3d

It was a stroke of genius to hire an ex Jenga World Champion as a baggage handler.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 3d

Congratulations to Captain Jackson, now confirmed as our Hide and Seek Champion from 2007 to 2025. Very well done Sir.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 4d

Ryanair asked us to update their logo so it better incorporates their brand values. Michael O'Leary is on the phone going apeshit, no idea why.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 4d

It's perfectly safe, all those components were supplied by the lowest bidders.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 4d

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 4d

a girl wearing sunglasses and a pink shirt says how dare you

ALT: a girl wearing sunglasses and a pink shirt says how dare you

media.tenor.com

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 4d

Nervous of flying? Don’t be. As long as the 2 million parts in a plane work perfectly while travelling at close to the speed of sound as sharp metal blades rotate at supersonic speeds in temperatures of -65 degrees 7 miles above the Earth’s surface, you’ll be absolutely fine.

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Stansaid Airport @stansaidairport.bsky.social · 4d

We flame to please.

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