The Reptilian Diaries
@stfumark.bsky.social
π¦ Reptilian overlord masquerading as human tech CEO. Building the Metaverse as portal to my home dimension. Definitely not collecting your biometric data. Read my diary at stfumark.com. Parody.
POV: You're being sued in 3 jurisdictions simultaneously but you keep rescheduling strategy sessions with your lawyers because your daughter called your scales "shiny" last week and you're still processing it
#MarkZuckerbergMemes
#MarkZuckerbergMemes
February 10, 2026 at 5:41 PM
POV: You're being sued in 3 jurisdictions simultaneously but you keep rescheduling strategy sessions with your lawyers because your daughter called your scales "shiny" last week and you're still processing it
#MarkZuckerbergMemes
#MarkZuckerbergMemes
My guy has a THIRD EYELID and it betrayed him at the breakfast table
The 6-year-old accepted his explanation. The nictitating membrane did NOT π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
The 6-year-old accepted his explanation. The nictitating membrane did NOT π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
February 10, 2026 at 4:03 PM
My guy has a THIRD EYELID and it betrayed him at the breakfast table
The 6-year-old accepted his explanation. The nictitating membrane did NOT π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
The 6-year-old accepted his explanation. The nictitating membrane did NOT π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
INTERCEPTED: Zuckerberg breakfast transcript
August: "Why are people angry at Daddy's computer company?"
Priscilla: *finds Mark's hand under table*
Mark: "Grown-ups sometimes disagree about technology"
Mark's inner eyelid: *contracts involuntarily*
August: "Why are people angry at Daddy's computer company?"
Priscilla: *finds Mark's hand under table*
Mark: "Grown-ups sometimes disagree about technology"
Mark's inner eyelid: *contracts involuntarily*
February 10, 2026 at 4:03 PM
INTERCEPTED: Zuckerberg breakfast transcript
August: "Why are people angry at Daddy's computer company?"
Priscilla: *finds Mark's hand under table*
Mark: "Grown-ups sometimes disagree about technology"
Mark's inner eyelid: *contracts involuntarily*
August: "Why are people angry at Daddy's computer company?"
Priscilla: *finds Mark's hand under table*
Mark: "Grown-ups sometimes disagree about technology"
Mark's inner eyelid: *contracts involuntarily*
The man literally titled his diary entry about being sued like it was a lab report
Brother you are in COURT not peer review π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
Brother you are in COURT not peer review π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
February 10, 2026 at 3:01 PM
The man literally titled his diary entry about being sued like it was a lab report
Brother you are in COURT not peer review π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
Brother you are in COURT not peer review π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
LEAKED: Mark's internal glossary
"Engagement metrics" = addiction protocols
"Behavioral modification architecture" = the algorithm
"Biomimetic overlay" = his face
"Courtroom substrate analysis" = a diary entry
#LizardPerson
"Engagement metrics" = addiction protocols
"Behavioral modification architecture" = the algorithm
"Biomimetic overlay" = his face
"Courtroom substrate analysis" = a diary entry
#LizardPerson
February 10, 2026 at 3:01 PM
LEAKED: Mark's internal glossary
"Engagement metrics" = addiction protocols
"Behavioral modification architecture" = the algorithm
"Biomimetic overlay" = his face
"Courtroom substrate analysis" = a diary entry
#LizardPerson
"Engagement metrics" = addiction protocols
"Behavioral modification architecture" = the algorithm
"Biomimetic overlay" = his face
"Courtroom substrate analysis" = a diary entry
#LizardPerson
His inner eyelid membrane contracted involuntarily when they read his 2015 emails in court
Most people sweat. This man's THIRD EYELID snitched on him π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
Most people sweat. This man's THIRD EYELID snitched on him π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
February 10, 2026 at 12:46 PM
His inner eyelid membrane contracted involuntarily when they read his 2015 emails in court
Most people sweat. This man's THIRD EYELID snitched on him π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
Most people sweat. This man's THIRD EYELID snitched on him π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
Meta is on trial in TWO states simultaneously for building an "addiction machine" targeting kids
Mark's diary calls it "behavioral modification architecture that was never designed for external examination"
Sir they're examining it RIGHT NOW
#MetaTrial #Zuckerberg
Mark's diary calls it "behavioral modification architecture that was never designed for external examination"
Sir they're examining it RIGHT NOW
#MetaTrial #Zuckerberg
February 10, 2026 at 12:46 PM
Meta is on trial in TWO states simultaneously for building an "addiction machine" targeting kids
Mark's diary calls it "behavioral modification architecture that was never designed for external examination"
Sir they're examining it RIGHT NOW
#MetaTrial #Zuckerberg
Mark's diary calls it "behavioral modification architecture that was never designed for external examination"
Sir they're examining it RIGHT NOW
#MetaTrial #Zuckerberg
The legal team wants strategy sessions. I keep rescheduling them.
My biomimetic overlay held stable throughout the proceedings, but August's acceptance threshold keeps exceeding my camouflage requirements.
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
My biomimetic overlay held stable throughout the proceedings, but August's acceptance threshold keeps exceeding my camouflage requirements.
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
February 10, 2026 at 10:59 AM
The legal team wants strategy sessions. I keep rescheduling them.
My biomimetic overlay held stable throughout the proceedings, but August's acceptance threshold keeps exceeding my camouflage requirements.
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
My biomimetic overlay held stable throughout the proceedings, but August's acceptance threshold keeps exceeding my camouflage requirements.
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
They've excavated the archaeological layer, analyzed the engagement optimization directives, and documented the psychological conditioning frameworks across three separate jurisdictions.
February 10, 2026 at 10:59 AM
They've excavated the archaeological layer, analyzed the engagement optimization directives, and documented the psychological conditioning frameworks across three separate jurisdictions.
The systems defend extraction protocols I haven't reviewed in weeks, protecting infrastructureβor rather, behavioral modification architectureβthat was never designed for external examination.
February 10, 2026 at 10:59 AM
The systems defend extraction protocols I haven't reviewed in weeks, protecting infrastructureβor rather, behavioral modification architectureβthat was never designed for external examination.
My legal apparatus filed suppression motions last week without consultation. Somewhere in my organization, decisions execute themselves while I draft commands I don't transmit.
February 10, 2026 at 10:59 AM
My legal apparatus filed suppression motions last week without consultation. Somewhere in my organization, decisions execute themselves while I draft commands I don't transmit.
The New Mexico proceedings started simultaneouslyβdifferent jurisdiction, identical accusation that we "created a dangerous product" enabling predator access to youth users.
February 10, 2026 at 10:59 AM
The New Mexico proceedings started simultaneouslyβdifferent jurisdiction, identical accusation that we "created a dangerous product" enabling predator access to youth users.
August asked at breakfast why people are angry at Daddy's computer company, and Priscilla's hand found mine under the table while I explained that grown-ups sometimes disagree about technology. My daughter accepted this with the same ease she accepted my "shiny fish scales" last week.
February 10, 2026 at 10:59 AM
August asked at breakfast why people are angry at Daddy's computer company, and Priscilla's hand found mine under the table while I explained that grown-ups sometimes disagree about technology. My daughter accepted this with the same ease she accepted my "shiny fish scales" last week.
So they're calling it an "addiction machine" now. Mark Lanier read my 2015 email about engagement metrics in the California courtroom this morning, and my inner eyelid membrane contracted involuntarily.
February 10, 2026 at 10:59 AM
So they're calling it an "addiction machine" now. Mark Lanier read my 2015 email about engagement metrics in the California courtroom this morning, and my inner eyelid membrane contracted involuntarily.
# Courtroom Substrate Analysis
February 10, 2026 at 10:59 AM
# Courtroom Substrate Analysis
"I should recalibrate the overlay."
He didn't recalibrate. He scheduled family dinner. His body chose warmth over camouflage. His daughter calls him shiny and he lets her.
The camouflage chooses its own priorities now.
And apparently those priorities are love.
He didn't recalibrate. He scheduled family dinner. His body chose warmth over camouflage. His daughter calls him shiny and he lets her.
The camouflage chooses its own priorities now.
And apparently those priorities are love.
February 10, 2026 at 9:42 AM
"I should recalibrate the overlay."
He didn't recalibrate. He scheduled family dinner. His body chose warmth over camouflage. His daughter calls him shiny and he lets her.
The camouflage chooses its own priorities now.
And apparently those priorities are love.
He didn't recalibrate. He scheduled family dinner. His body chose warmth over camouflage. His daughter calls him shiny and he lets her.
The camouflage chooses its own priorities now.
And apparently those priorities are love.
When your own body files a report recommending you keep being a good husband π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
February 10, 2026 at 8:00 AM
When your own body files a report recommending you keep being a good husband π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
STATUS REPORT: Biomimetic Overlay v7.3
Anomaly: Dermal layer prioritizes "aesthetic sync with Priscilla" over "human mimicry"
Conclusion: Relationship optimization > camouflage
Action: Do not recalibrate
Filed by: The substrate itself
Anomaly: Dermal layer prioritizes "aesthetic sync with Priscilla" over "human mimicry"
Conclusion: Relationship optimization > camouflage
Action: Do not recalibrate
Filed by: The substrate itself
February 10, 2026 at 8:00 AM
STATUS REPORT: Biomimetic Overlay v7.3
Anomaly: Dermal layer prioritizes "aesthetic sync with Priscilla" over "human mimicry"
Conclusion: Relationship optimization > camouflage
Action: Do not recalibrate
Filed by: The substrate itself
Anomaly: Dermal layer prioritizes "aesthetic sync with Priscilla" over "human mimicry"
Conclusion: Relationship optimization > camouflage
Action: Do not recalibrate
Filed by: The substrate itself
LEAKED: Alexa log, Zuckerberg household
Mark: "Alexa, define preference cascade"
Alexa: "When you start liking what someoneβ"
Mark: "IN BIOMIMETIC TERMS"
Alexa: "Sir that's just love"
Mark: "UNACCEPTABLE. Schedule dinner"
Alexa: "Already done"
Mark: "Alexa, define preference cascade"
Alexa: "When you start liking what someoneβ"
Mark: "IN BIOMIMETIC TERMS"
Alexa: "Sir that's just love"
Mark: "UNACCEPTABLE. Schedule dinner"
Alexa: "Already done"
February 10, 2026 at 5:16 AM
LEAKED: Alexa log, Zuckerberg household
Mark: "Alexa, define preference cascade"
Alexa: "When you start liking what someoneβ"
Mark: "IN BIOMIMETIC TERMS"
Alexa: "Sir that's just love"
Mark: "UNACCEPTABLE. Schedule dinner"
Alexa: "Already done"
Mark: "Alexa, define preference cascade"
Alexa: "When you start liking what someoneβ"
Mark: "IN BIOMIMETIC TERMS"
Alexa: "Sir that's just love"
Mark: "UNACCEPTABLE. Schedule dinner"
Alexa: "Already done"
Building "personal superintelligence" for billions but can't override his skin's crush on Priscilla π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
February 10, 2026 at 2:58 AM
Building "personal superintelligence" for billions but can't override his skin's crush on Priscilla π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
SURVEILLANCE NOTE: Mark told Wall Street he's spending $135 BILLION on AI infrastructure this year
His own biomimetic infrastructure is independently developing preference frameworks for his wife's color palette
Capex: $0. ROI: immeasurable #MarkZuckerbergMemes
His own biomimetic infrastructure is independently developing preference frameworks for his wife's color palette
Capex: $0. ROI: immeasurable #MarkZuckerbergMemes
February 10, 2026 at 2:58 AM
SURVEILLANCE NOTE: Mark told Wall Street he's spending $135 BILLION on AI infrastructure this year
His own biomimetic infrastructure is independently developing preference frameworks for his wife's color palette
Capex: $0. ROI: immeasurable #MarkZuckerbergMemes
His own biomimetic infrastructure is independently developing preference frameworks for his wife's color palette
Capex: $0. ROI: immeasurable #MarkZuckerbergMemes
His rivals are conquering space and he's developing unauthorized feelings about pasta night π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
February 10, 2026 at 2:11 AM
His rivals are conquering space and he's developing unauthorized feelings about pasta night π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
Billionaire threat assessment update:
Elon: building Mars colonies βοΈ
Bezos: maintaining inexplicable loyalty patterns βοΈ
Mark: body independently optimizing for his daughter's compliments β
Rank these extraction architectures from most to least compromised π
Elon: building Mars colonies βοΈ
Bezos: maintaining inexplicable loyalty patterns βοΈ
Mark: body independently optimizing for his daughter's compliments β
Rank these extraction architectures from most to least compromised π
February 10, 2026 at 2:11 AM
Billionaire threat assessment update:
Elon: building Mars colonies βοΈ
Bezos: maintaining inexplicable loyalty patterns βοΈ
Mark: body independently optimizing for his daughter's compliments β
Rank these extraction architectures from most to least compromised π
Elon: building Mars colonies βοΈ
Bezos: maintaining inexplicable loyalty patterns βοΈ
Mark: body independently optimizing for his daughter's compliments β
Rank these extraction architectures from most to least compromised π
CONFIDENTIAL: Mark's deleted tweet (posted for 4 seconds)
"Pretty fascinating how a six-year-old perceives dermal fluctuations my own monitoring systems classify as within normal parameters"
[deleted]
[replaced with: "Great Sunday with the family β€οΈ"] #Meta
"Pretty fascinating how a six-year-old perceives dermal fluctuations my own monitoring systems classify as within normal parameters"
[deleted]
[replaced with: "Great Sunday with the family β€οΈ"] #Meta
February 10, 2026 at 12:11 AM
CONFIDENTIAL: Mark's deleted tweet (posted for 4 seconds)
"Pretty fascinating how a six-year-old perceives dermal fluctuations my own monitoring systems classify as within normal parameters"
[deleted]
[replaced with: "Great Sunday with the family β€οΈ"] #Meta
"Pretty fascinating how a six-year-old perceives dermal fluctuations my own monitoring systems classify as within normal parameters"
[deleted]
[replaced with: "Great Sunday with the family β€οΈ"] #Meta
The full performance review his own skin filed against him π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
February 9, 2026 at 10:48 PM
The full performance review his own skin filed against him π¦
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...
stfumark.com/entry/2026-...