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Why is that spray-tanned half melted blob of Velveeta throwing himself a birthday parade?? With tanks?? That’s costing upwards of 25 MILLION?! January 29th, 2029 needs to get here already so we can be done with this dicktator
Why don’t we just take Muskrat and the Spray Tan put them and the magats on Florida, push it off of the continental US and let them go form their MAGA island in their “Gulf of America”. Problem solved.
Someone tell me why the hell I just saw a commercial for Amazon health care. You can get medical advice from AI or if you don’t have health insurance you can pay for medicine and telehealth calls. It’s the most dystopian thing I’ve ever seen. #amazon#whatthefuck
I started feeding all the squirrels that came up to my balcony because outside animals don’t need a pet deposit and now I have adopted like 10 squirrels and like 50+ birds and nobody can stop me. I’m making a squirrel army so I can train them to go get me an 1/8 on command.
What am I supposed to do when the eras tour is over? Girl like…. I forgot all my other hobbies besides Easter egg hunting (Taylor’s version) #therastour #taylorswift