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Tortilla Farts, Writer

@swamivonsalami.bsky.social

90 followers 76 following 160 posts

It’s ass.

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Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · 3d

“I’m bringing back old fashioned values and hairy 70s-style bushes. No muff too tough.”

- The Jenner, 2025

#burningbush #pubes #America

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · 7d

Thanks for the reply, Dee. I appreciate it. Now, listen: You fuckers were loud. Long Beach Arena. 80s. On. Fucking. Point. 😤

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · 7d

@deesnider.bsky.social! Have you heard David Lee Roth sing live recently? He sounds like my asshole after Chinese food. Q: Is it possible that he’s worse than Vince Neil live? Talk to me, Dee. Anyhow, saw your band back in the day. You fuckers were LOUD.

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · 8d

Ok, which one of you freaks fucked the tortillas?

#sex #food

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · 11d

Nice tattoo. Shitty guitar player.

#music #tattoo #KISS

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · 21d

“Dream now, MAGA Child. Eat Trump’s balls. Then eat his ass. And I’ll see you in Valhalla.”

- Morrison Patel, 2025

#music #FBI #Trump

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · 25d

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · 25d

Wow. That’s one ugly motherfucker.

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · 25d

“I’ve sailed the Seven Seas and ate a hairy man’s ass on my knees. I’ll see you in Valhalla.”

- Yngwie Patel, coconut-brown Viking

#valhalla #Trump #dead

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · 27d

Miller’s bald. That’s hilarious.

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · Sep 12

STROKAHONTAS! 🇺🇸

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · Sep 11

Are Trump’s “Sympathies” his dick and balls?

#charliekirk #Utah

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · Sep 9

So they’re crackheads, too? Alright.

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · Sep 5

Eric Clapton taking a nap before a concert in 2024.

#music #dead

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · Sep 1

Is it dead, yet? Look, I’m not asking for much. Just wishing for death. Don’t judge me. #sheesh

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · Sep 1

Sweaty Rudy Giuliani is in critical, but stable condition. As soon as he’s fully recovered he’ll fuck one of his cousins.

#RudyGiuliani #sex

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · Aug 31

Is it dead, yet? LFG! 💀

#dead #hurry

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · Aug 26

It’s dying.

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · Aug 24

Football season is here, bitches. Who remembers last year’s Super Bowl when the Eagles smacked the fuck out of the Chiefs? Yes! Good times! #NFL

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · Aug 23

Cracker Barrel: The old logo sucks balls. Just like our food.

Crackers: 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

#CrackerBarrel #food

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · Aug 22

“Mother bitch! Give me that schnitzel!”

“Say less.”

#Newsome #CA

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · Aug 20

Did Leatherface have combovers painted on those dead white dudes?

#tacodon #dead #gold

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · Aug 20

She’s crying a lot.

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · Aug 18

“I tried his tacos. They’re shit.”

- Vladimir Putin, 2025

#tacodon #tacotuesday #russia

Tortilla Farts, Writer @swamivonsalami.bsky.social · Aug 14

Is this asshole still doing ALL THE DRUGS? Selfish prick. #drugs #fame