Argon Dreamcast Evangelion
@synthandlasers.bsky.social
"You’re good at posting. I just hate what you post." -A man named Roger
I don't need a groundhog to tell me how much more Winter we have left. I have a far superior creature to predict that. The Midwest is already getting its hoodie and shorts guys back. Nature is healing.
February 4, 2026 at 11:10 PM
I don't need a groundhog to tell me how much more Winter we have left. I have a far superior creature to predict that. The Midwest is already getting its hoodie and shorts guys back. Nature is healing.
Salad News: That one dressing has been demoted to just nine-hundred ninety-nine island after DOJ reports discovered that one of the islands was Little St. James
February 4, 2026 at 10:13 PM
Salad News: That one dressing has been demoted to just nine-hundred ninety-nine island after DOJ reports discovered that one of the islands was Little St. James
I have a mouth and honestly I'm pretty chill at this point in time
By Harlan Ellison
By Harlan Ellison
February 4, 2026 at 10:00 AM
I have a mouth and honestly I'm pretty chill at this point in time
By Harlan Ellison
By Harlan Ellison
I'm not giving money to shitty genAI fast fashion. But...it does
February 4, 2026 at 7:44 AM
I'm not giving money to shitty genAI fast fashion. But...it does
I call this piece, "The orcs don't stand a fucking chance"
February 4, 2026 at 6:06 AM
I call this piece, "The orcs don't stand a fucking chance"
Bring back American Gladiators. What the world needs now more than ever, is a spandex himbo shelling 90 pound accountants with a tennis ball cannon
February 4, 2026 at 1:53 AM
Bring back American Gladiators. What the world needs now more than ever, is a spandex himbo shelling 90 pound accountants with a tennis ball cannon
There should be a whole pantheon of Riddlers themed after different punctuation marks. Like an exclamation point dude who just shouts all the time. Or a semicolon guy who's just, like...kinda going through some shit
February 4, 2026 at 12:56 AM
There should be a whole pantheon of Riddlers themed after different punctuation marks. Like an exclamation point dude who just shouts all the time. Or a semicolon guy who's just, like...kinda going through some shit
Why is throwing around a bunch of cash "making it rain"? Money is solid, soft, and flutters delicately to the ground. That's making it snow. Making it rain should involve showing off some kind of expensive liquid. Like printer ink. Or horse cum.
February 4, 2026 at 12:40 AM
Why is throwing around a bunch of cash "making it rain"? Money is solid, soft, and flutters delicately to the ground. That's making it snow. Making it rain should involve showing off some kind of expensive liquid. Like printer ink. Or horse cum.
Working in a kitchen is cool because it'll have you saying shit like "tortellini fuckin' rips" while God's whitest teenager blasts Fetty Wap out of a twenty dollar bluetooth speaker crammed inside a metal pan
February 4, 2026 at 12:12 AM
Working in a kitchen is cool because it'll have you saying shit like "tortellini fuckin' rips" while God's whitest teenager blasts Fetty Wap out of a twenty dollar bluetooth speaker crammed inside a metal pan
I do not know who Gesaffelstein is and I have no intention of learning
February 4, 2026 at 12:03 AM
I do not know who Gesaffelstein is and I have no intention of learning
Imagine the kind of insane shit you'd have to do to get the nickname "Bazooka Joe" just for people to only know you for some mid ass bubblegum
February 3, 2026 at 10:14 PM
Imagine the kind of insane shit you'd have to do to get the nickname "Bazooka Joe" just for people to only know you for some mid ass bubblegum
Me: "Verifiable, hard science backed up by empirical evidence is of vital importance to understanding the world in times of uncertainty and unreliable nonsense"
Also Me: "The psychic rat from New England says it's gonna get warm soon 🙂"
Also Me: "The psychic rat from New England says it's gonna get warm soon 🙂"
February 3, 2026 at 3:52 AM
Me: "Verifiable, hard science backed up by empirical evidence is of vital importance to understanding the world in times of uncertainty and unreliable nonsense"
Also Me: "The psychic rat from New England says it's gonna get warm soon 🙂"
Also Me: "The psychic rat from New England says it's gonna get warm soon 🙂"
The new batch of Deadlock characters all look cool. They've got:
• Tim Burton's Pikachu
• Tim Burton's Avril Lavigne
• Just a regular millennial lesbian
• The Tiefling from your first D&D game
• The greatest hyperpop producer ever
• The Punisher circa 1850
• Tim Burton's Pikachu
• Tim Burton's Avril Lavigne
• Just a regular millennial lesbian
• The Tiefling from your first D&D game
• The greatest hyperpop producer ever
• The Punisher circa 1850
February 3, 2026 at 2:20 AM
The new batch of Deadlock characters all look cool. They've got:
• Tim Burton's Pikachu
• Tim Burton's Avril Lavigne
• Just a regular millennial lesbian
• The Tiefling from your first D&D game
• The greatest hyperpop producer ever
• The Punisher circa 1850
• Tim Burton's Pikachu
• Tim Burton's Avril Lavigne
• Just a regular millennial lesbian
• The Tiefling from your first D&D game
• The greatest hyperpop producer ever
• The Punisher circa 1850
Coworker: "I've been falling behind on cleaning my house. But, I mean, I'm pregnant, with a toddler."
Me: "Pregnant with a toddler? How the fuck long's he been in there?!"
The Entire Staff:
Me: "Pregnant with a toddler? How the fuck long's he been in there?!"
The Entire Staff:
February 3, 2026 at 1:29 AM
Coworker: "I've been falling behind on cleaning my house. But, I mean, I'm pregnant, with a toddler."
Me: "Pregnant with a toddler? How the fuck long's he been in there?!"
The Entire Staff:
Me: "Pregnant with a toddler? How the fuck long's he been in there?!"
The Entire Staff:
I'll admit I don't know terribly much about her or her music but...is Halsey just Hayley Williams' Wario?
February 2, 2026 at 6:31 AM
I'll admit I don't know terribly much about her or her music but...is Halsey just Hayley Williams' Wario?
Wow Markiplier is such a good actor
February 2, 2026 at 1:01 AM
Wow Markiplier is such a good actor
People who report of award shows need to learn new vocabulary. Sabrina Carpenter ✨️stuns✨️ on the red carpet. Chappell Roan ✨️stuns✨️ on the red carpet. You know who I wanna see stun on the red carpet? Stone Cold Steve Austin. Oh hell yeah.
February 2, 2026 at 12:49 AM
People who report of award shows need to learn new vocabulary. Sabrina Carpenter ✨️stuns✨️ on the red carpet. Chappell Roan ✨️stuns✨️ on the red carpet. You know who I wanna see stun on the red carpet? Stone Cold Steve Austin. Oh hell yeah.
The way people crash out over live service game patch notes is always hilarious. They nerfed my main's rate of fire by 0.05% and now they're unplayable D-tier throwslop because the devs hate ME personally
February 1, 2026 at 11:33 PM
The way people crash out over live service game patch notes is always hilarious. They nerfed my main's rate of fire by 0.05% and now they're unplayable D-tier throwslop because the devs hate ME personally
Being such an unlikeable weirdo that even the pedo island gang curves your creepy ass is objectively the funniest shit that has ever happened
February 1, 2026 at 10:09 PM
Being such an unlikeable weirdo that even the pedo island gang curves your creepy ass is objectively the funniest shit that has ever happened
Idea: Muenster Energy Drink
February 1, 2026 at 9:40 PM
Idea: Muenster Energy Drink
"Moot and Freddy Fazbear are in the Epstein files" is one of those rare statements that's objectively true but also impossible to say without sounding like a complete fucking lunatic. None of those words belong in the same sentence together.
February 1, 2026 at 9:27 PM
"Moot and Freddy Fazbear are in the Epstein files" is one of those rare statements that's objectively true but also impossible to say without sounding like a complete fucking lunatic. None of those words belong in the same sentence together.
*work phone rings*
Customer: "Do you take reservations?"
Me, internationally: "Sir you are calling a bar with a golf cart on the roof..."
Customer: "Do you take reservations?"
Me, internationally: "Sir you are calling a bar with a golf cart on the roof..."
January 31, 2026 at 11:42 PM
*work phone rings*
Customer: "Do you take reservations?"
Me, internationally: "Sir you are calling a bar with a golf cart on the roof..."
Customer: "Do you take reservations?"
Me, internationally: "Sir you are calling a bar with a golf cart on the roof..."
Being from the Midwest is so embarrassing. What do you mean I got visibly excited when a content creator I follow mentioned Jewel-Osco?
January 31, 2026 at 4:35 AM
Being from the Midwest is so embarrassing. What do you mean I got visibly excited when a content creator I follow mentioned Jewel-Osco?
Markiplier Cinematic Universe:
• Iron Lung
• Cobalt Appendix
• Neodymium Prostate
• Iron Lung
• Cobalt Appendix
• Neodymium Prostate
January 30, 2026 at 11:52 PM
Markiplier Cinematic Universe:
• Iron Lung
• Cobalt Appendix
• Neodymium Prostate
• Iron Lung
• Cobalt Appendix
• Neodymium Prostate
How could anyone be a particle physicist? It's Adam and Eve, not atom and...wait, hang on a sec
January 30, 2026 at 11:27 PM
How could anyone be a particle physicist? It's Adam and Eve, not atom and...wait, hang on a sec