I hate getting those We’ll try again tomorrow stickers. What’s their excuse this time? Oh.

Happy Hour News. Grandpa Sundowner’s cruel handlers are putting him before the press in the afternoon: Did someone put him in front of the 20-hour Christmas log again? Few stores and they’re made of Plywood. Got it. Put him in bed already with some soft food, and take away the phone.

One of many questions we asked on this week's podcast...

He wrote a book about 'antifa' years ago, so he must be the source of all America's trouble.

“He’ll rue the day he crossed paths with me!" (Direct Link To Reddit Here) (Hat tip: Scissorhead MomXTrois)

Just the federal workforce: The Trump administration moved to begin laying off federal workers Friday while the government was shuttered, fulfilling threats from President Donald Trump to take advantage of the closure to shave off still more parts of the federal workforce he dislikes. “The RIFs have begun,” White House budget director Russell Vought posted on X Friday afternoon, using an acronym for reductions-in-force.

In You Guts You Know He’s Nuts Is it that time of year again? You know for his SECOND annual check-up this year. “It has two humps? Uh, Stormy? Mel? Camel?"

America First? Haha, surely you jest! As Vlad Putin once (should have) said, “Buy one Orange 🤡 , get the entire GOP for free!: Makes that gift plane a real bargain for the Qatris. Well, that and a $5.5 billion golf resort deal. So far I’m not hearing and squeals from the GOP Hawks and Neocons. Tom Cotton is going to have a stroke.

Vengeance is a dish best served with ketchup. As is well-known, Hair Füror hates NY AG Letitia James. Not only is she a woman —and a Black woman!— she had the nerve to indict and convict him on 24-counts! (Never mind that he was guilty and never mind that it was actually Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg who prosecuted the Trump case.

Hide The Ketchup! The Nobel Prize Winner is... Maria Corina Machado: Announcement, Nobel Peace Prize 2025 10 October 2025 The Nobel Peace Prize for 2025 goes to a brave and committed champion of peace – to a woman who keeps the flame of democracy burning amid a growing darkness. The Norwegian Nobel Committee has decided to award the Nobel Peace Prize for 2025 to Maria Corina Machado.

I’m never at the right place.

...the Nobel Peace Prize slips outta his hands again. Maybe next year? (What a dope.)

Someone has figured out how to herd cats?! “You tools!,” Snowy mewled to her snowballs, "I taught you better than this!" (Hat tip: Scissorhead M Davis)

As all regular readers and good Scissorheads know, censorship really grinds my gears and frosts my cookies, which is one of the reasons Banned Books week always resonates with me. So here’s some great news from the top-notch investigative journalists from 404 Media: Over the last few years, some of our more meaningful (and unfortunately bleakest) reporting has been on the many ways in which the right wing has systematically targeted libraries, schools, authors, and educators over the things they teach, specifically with regard to the teaching of systemic racism, LGBTQ+ issues, science, and sex education.

Pornhub Moses told Piers Morgan that The Orange 🤡 should not even consider pardoning convicted pimp and under-age child-procurer Ghislaine Maxwell after he 1) denied knowing her and B) said he would look into it . “I would never even consider it. I mean, she’s a convicted human trafficker. She was a party to this, she set it up by her own admission, she was involved in all this.

404 Media has gotten a grant to unearth public records about systematic censorship of books, schools, and libraries in the U.S.

Optics. The Journos at NOTUS’ email thingie are on the shutdown beat and bring us some color of the optics, because frankly, that’s all there is to report: Shutdown spat-off: The Capitol complex is pretty big, but apparently not big enough for two Democratic press gaggles to happen without “spontaneous” appearances from Republicans. The Epstein-themed one: Sens. Mark Kelly and…