Author | Lightnews

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · 1d

"The thong he wears everyday already has a lot of ball room for him. It's not a problem at all. Everything fits", said Melania.
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#whitehouse #eastwing #trump #melaniatrump

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · 2d

In a recent interview, Tim Keller declared that he would be deploying soccer dads to fight crime if elected for another term. "Darren White wants more police in the city. No. We need more soccer dads. Not wine moms. Soccer dads", Keller discussed. "I mean you saw the news. Soccer dads can fight".

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The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · 2d

San Mateo Tower will now be demolished and rebuilt as a ballroom.

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · 3d

"I don't drink dog c*m!", Mark Ronchetti stated. "It's purely incidental that I happen to have always wanted to open a doggy day care and that this rumor was spread about me during my campaign for governor".

Their business, Doggy Day C*m, is set to make their grand opening this winter.

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · 7d

Late last evening, Burqueño, Juan Hernandez, died without ever considering getting a Zia tattoo. The family hired a tattoo artist to attend the funeral, in case Hernandez changed his mind. "We wanted to make sure that his decision was final. The tattoo thing, not his death, obviously that's final".

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · 15d

Canadian hot air balloon pilot, Glenn Peters, awoke on Thursday morning to find the catalytic converter had been stolen from his hot air balloon.

When interviewed by the Burque Babble, Peters said, "I'm sorry". We are not sure why he apologized for having his catalytic converter stolen.

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · 21d

The air force is currently investigating this crime and suspects that the pilot may have been suffering from altitude sickness. "We think he got too high", said Air Force sergeant, Dean White. According to the pilot, the victims first cut him off and then attempted to take his landing spot.

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · 25d

"It's very unlikely you'll ever see it in the sky. Honestly, it's unlikely we'll even get it to inflate. It's shaped too special", said pilot Joe Maestas. "It cost like $30,000 and I'm regretting it. But it's cool! It looks cool, right? Right?".

Catch the special shape not in the sky soon.

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · Sep 23

Dana White was very proud at today's press conference, announcing special guests Elon Musk and President Trump. Some seem to be protesting the event. "They'll do anything other than release the Epstein files", said one protester. You can catch the event live on Truth Social this Saturday.

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · Sep 22

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · Sep 19

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The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · Sep 19

Meow Wolf just announced special hours just for tripping acid! Meow Wolf will open it's doors every full moon from noon to 13am once a month just for it. "We'll stay open all 27 hours that day", said an employee. The next event will take place October 6th, starting at 39 o'clock.

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · Aug 14

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · Aug 11

A DNA researcher at Los Alamos labs said, "We weren't sure at first because we received a U.S. education but upon looking closer, there's no doubt about it".

The current administration is looking into collecting the sand and moving it to its' own designated area of land.
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#albuquerquenews

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · Jul 9

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · Jul 7

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · Jul 2

"Any time I go anywhere, Allsups, Blake's, the courthouse, I always have to look at the mountains to know where I'm going", she said. "But yesterday, a miracle happened. I was halfway to Frontier when I realized I knew where I was going. I didn't even need to look".

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The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · Jun 30

Tingley Beach is what Mark Ronchetti refers to his butthole as.
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#tingleybeach #abqnews #nmtrue

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · Jun 18

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · Jun 16

Male Strip Club The Prickly Pear Coming to Albuquerque

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · Jun 12

A historian recently claimed that Oppenheimer may have cracked the atomic bomb while high on meth, specifically blue meth. However, since the 1940's were in black and white, there is no way to tell for sure what color the meth actually was.
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#abqnews #newmexicofacts #nmtrue

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · Jun 11

"I tried wearing a boxing glove on my billboard to show Burquenos I'm just like them but apparently, I was told I was holding the gloves stupid?", said Mr. Bell Pepper.

Since the name change business is down 11%.

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · Jun 11

Since being deployed last week, the National Guard has already found that a whopping 37% of Albuquerque crimes are committed by APD. Said crimes include illegal gambling on Cliffs brawls, driving while under the influence, trying to rip off sex workers, and public indecency.

#albuquerquenews

The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · Jun 5

For the month of June, Golden Pride is rebranding to Golden Pride Pride for pride month. Menu items this month include the sausage and sausage burrito and the non-binary piece chicken.
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#goldenpride #pridemonth #abqnews

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The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News" @theburquebabble.bsky.social · Jun 4