The Card
@thecard.bsky.social
Creator of a depressing comic strip. Liver of a depressing life. Writer of depressing bios.
Stop, collaborate, AND listen? In this economy?
December 16, 2025 at 12:12 AM
Stop, collaborate, AND listen? In this economy?
This is truly fucking monstrous. He compulsively makes *everything* about himself and can’t even feign empathy. There’s nothing he doesn’t make worse.
December 15, 2025 at 10:51 PM
This is truly fucking monstrous. He compulsively makes *everything* about himself and can’t even feign empathy. There’s nothing he doesn’t make worse.
Reposted by The Card
New comic! Wherein the guys watch a holiday classic.
December 15, 2025 at 1:58 PM
New comic! Wherein the guys watch a holiday classic.
Hug your calendars (and your soup).
December 15, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Hug your calendars (and your soup).
My car being started in negative temperatures.
a man speaking into a microphone with the words i hate you behind him
ALT: a man speaking into a microphone with the words i hate you behind him
media.tenor.com
December 15, 2025 at 11:37 AM
My car being started in negative temperatures.
In the air, there's a feeling of Christmas.
No, wait.
That's pollution.
No, wait.
That's pollution.
December 15, 2025 at 11:10 AM
In the air, there's a feeling of Christmas.
No, wait.
That's pollution.
No, wait.
That's pollution.
Disable ALL cookies? In this economy?
December 15, 2025 at 9:37 AM
Disable ALL cookies? In this economy?
To the people who start "DO THIS THING OR HAVE A TERRIBLE YEAR" chain posts:
What's it like being so uninteresting that threatening others with bad luck is your only means of driving engagement?
Also, if non-compliers *do* have a terrible year, are you willing to claim responsibility?
What's it like being so uninteresting that threatening others with bad luck is your only means of driving engagement?
Also, if non-compliers *do* have a terrible year, are you willing to claim responsibility?
December 15, 2025 at 9:04 AM
To the people who start "DO THIS THING OR HAVE A TERRIBLE YEAR" chain posts:
What's it like being so uninteresting that threatening others with bad luck is your only means of driving engagement?
Also, if non-compliers *do* have a terrible year, are you willing to claim responsibility?
What's it like being so uninteresting that threatening others with bad luck is your only means of driving engagement?
Also, if non-compliers *do* have a terrible year, are you willing to claim responsibility?
First theme song I committed to memory.
December 15, 2025 at 2:44 AM
First theme song I committed to memory.
Well, I seem to have graduated to the "obsessively checking heart rate and blood pressure" phase of health anxiety.
Cool, cool.
Cool, cool.
December 14, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Well, I seem to have graduated to the "obsessively checking heart rate and blood pressure" phase of health anxiety.
Cool, cool.
Cool, cool.
All I want for Christmas is two-front world domination.
December 14, 2025 at 1:51 PM
All I want for Christmas is two-front world domination.
Reposted by The Card
Still $0/$155. I admit I'm staying home today because I don't want to touch my rent money to go do the other errands (one place I need to go is to the Mexican supermarket for the rent money order). 💕💸
Hi Doc, thanks. I need about $155 for Uber to run errands. I know that's a lot but two of the trips are for deeper into LA. I'm disabled and I don't drive and I'm currently looking for an IHSS caregiver who can cart me around, lol. 💕💸 V: Annaleigh-Watts CA: $annaleighmaria PP: AnaleeWatts
a black dog is playing with a robotic vacuum cleaner and the caption says cuando el uber no es lo que esperabas
Alt: a black dog is playing with a robotic vacuum cleaner and the caption says "cuando el uber no es lo que esperabas" which means "When the Uber is not what you were expecting"
media.tenor.com
December 13, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Still $0/$155. I admit I'm staying home today because I don't want to touch my rent money to go do the other errands (one place I need to go is to the Mexican supermarket for the rent money order). 💕💸
Starting to worry that I’ll never have the opportunity to order guards to seize someone.
December 14, 2025 at 5:48 AM
Starting to worry that I’ll never have the opportunity to order guards to seize someone.
The Grinch started the war on Christmas, and the rest of us have been living with the fallout for decades.
December 14, 2025 at 5:36 AM
The Grinch started the war on Christmas, and the rest of us have been living with the fallout for decades.
“I mean, I guess I’ll start, but FUCK YOU.”
- My car when it’s one degree outside
- My car when it’s one degree outside
December 14, 2025 at 5:30 AM
“I mean, I guess I’ll start, but FUCK YOU.”
- My car when it’s one degree outside
- My car when it’s one degree outside
TWELVE days of Christmas? In this economy?
December 14, 2025 at 2:53 AM
TWELVE days of Christmas? In this economy?
Even though I now know better, this still kinda *feels* true.
December 14, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Even though I now know better, this still kinda *feels* true.
By the eighth verse, the singer is like, “You overstate how good you are at video games, Mr. Griiiiiiinch…”
December 14, 2025 at 2:36 AM
By the eighth verse, the singer is like, “You overstate how good you are at video games, Mr. Griiiiiiinch…”
Not to be a snob, but when it comes to continuums, it’s space-time or nothing.
December 14, 2025 at 2:22 AM
Not to be a snob, but when it comes to continuums, it’s space-time or nothing.
Last Christmas, I sold you my heart for a sum most would consider fair.
December 13, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Last Christmas, I sold you my heart for a sum most would consider fair.
Last Christmas, I gave you my gallbladder, because you hadn’t yet worked your way up to heart.
December 13, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Last Christmas, I gave you my gallbladder, because you hadn’t yet worked your way up to heart.
“More like ‘How the Grinch Stole My Heart.’”
- A Grinch stan, probably
- A Grinch stan, probably
December 13, 2025 at 6:59 PM
“More like ‘How the Grinch Stole My Heart.’”
- A Grinch stan, probably
- A Grinch stan, probably
When flirting with anyone but me occurs on my timeline.
a cartoon of a man wearing glasses and suspenders looking at the camera
ALT: a cartoon of a man wearing glasses and suspenders looking at the camera
media.tenor.com
December 13, 2025 at 5:13 PM
When flirting with anyone but me occurs on my timeline.
Don’t talk to me until I’ve thought of a decent joke about not talking to me until I’ve had my coffee.
December 13, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Don’t talk to me until I’ve thought of a decent joke about not talking to me until I’ve had my coffee.