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Gherkin 🥒

@thelastgherkin.bsky.social

240 followers 66 following 720 posts

I'm Gherkin, a visibly queer discontent creator and unique vegetable entity in the sphere of toy robots. He/him/his but not a man. Rantsona designed by @maiaf.bsky.social! LINKUS: https://thelastgherkin.tumblr.com/links

thelastgherkin.tumblr.com

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Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 14h

What if Einstein's first name was Frank. Really makes you think

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Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 1d

Ahem

AUTOBOTS RAISE THEIR CATTLE TO D—

A red, grey, and blue toy of a robotic ox and cart that looks like it turns into Optimus Prime.

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Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 2d

I'm sorry, is Age of the Primes Venin not capable of having his arms straight down at his sides???

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Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 3d

#Transformers AGE OF THE PRIMES Wreck 'n Doom Collection: Carnivac (with Survivor)

Wolf in the fold!

www.tumblr.com/thelastgherk...

Post by @thelastgherkin · 10 images

💬 1 🔁 1 ❤️ 2 · AGE OF THE PRIMES Wreck 'n Doom Collection: Carnivac (with Survivor) · Wolf in the fold! More like this: Titans Return Deluxe Class Wolfwire with Monxo Legacy Evolution Voyager…

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Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 3d

They crash him, his body may burn, they smash him, but they know he'll return to live again

Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 3d

I made this about Velma originally but

Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 3d

My one hope for The War Between The Land And The Sea (or TWATBLAST) is that Russell T realises that having the director of UNIT dating her immediate subordinate is. Bad

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Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 4d

#Transformers AGE OF THE PRIMES Wreck 'n Doom Collection: Fisitron

Heavy duty Lightformer.

www.tumblr.com/thelastgherk...

Post by @thelastgherkin · 10 images

💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 3 · AGE OF THE PRIMES Wreck 'n Doom Collection: Fisitron · Heavy duty Lightformer. More like this: Legacy Evolution Deluxe Class Detritus Mech Ideas Gauntlet Timelines Fisitron

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Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 4d

We're on levels certainly but I'm not sure they're both the same one

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Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 4d

Tis the season

"You ever just want to be a pumpkin?" – XxAndyRosexX, 5 years ago

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Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 4d

Me too! thelastgherkin.tumblr.com/post/4780357...

Crowbarring Canon: the Shalka Doctor

I've been thinking about Doctor Who a lot recently. It happens. Whenever a new series comes out, my brain spends a number of months tying up loose ends in the almost 50-year history and generally...

thelastgherkin.tumblr.com

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Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 4d

"What about the Master" well obviously the Time Lords wanted to butter the Doctor up so reached into the future to grab the amalgamated personality of someone the Doctor was demonstrably compatible with and put it in a robot

Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 4d

Richard E Grant is a post-Martin pre-Hartnell Doctor and in this essay I

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Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 6d

And what would you'a called her Mr Coming Up With Stuff

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Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 6d

Firecycle is an Autobot motorbike named after the Laser Heat-Ray on her one arm. Because if she were named after the Zero-K Blaster on her other arm she'd be called Icecycle and that'd be STUPID

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Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 6d

Ha ha, yeah

But also there's enough leeway to the vague dialogue that you could at "on the other side of that portal, in their own universe, which we can see from here" to the end of select sentences

Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 6d

The long and short of it is that we can rest safe in the knowledge that Britt and Black Plum do not exist in the same universe

Comic artwork of Britt, a silver-haired sexy vampire lady in a leather spy catsuit unzipped past her chest. She's kind of lazily backhanding a bunch of guys behind her so that her perfectly spherical yabbos are bouncing up towards the audience.

"Realistic" (uncanny) artwork of Black Plum, a platinum blonde woman in a... well, a corset and chunky heeled boots. She is crouched on one bent leg, the other completely horizontal, one arm heading in the same direction holding a huge sci-fi weapon. Her cleavage is unzipped to under her sternum, her bazongas looking like two little bald guys' heads in there.

Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 6d

So if Infestation represents the regular-ass zombies from ZVR coming through a portal into the CVO universe... where did the Undermind come from???? That isn't from ZVR??????

Splash page showing the Undermind, a grotesque and enormous humanoid figure made out of naked dead bodies like the skull on the moth on the Silence of the Lambs poster. It is reaching its head and shoulders through a portal, surrounded by lens flares, electricity, pentagrams, things of this nature.

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Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 6d

And sure enough, you follow both spin-off sequels, and ZVR takes place in a zombie apocalypse where the world has almost fallen, and Outbreak... doesn't

Opening splash panel from Zombies vs Robots: UnderCity. A chunky war robot fights off zombies in a dilapidated city.

Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 6d

At this point you're forced to conclude that the ZVR stuff in Infestation is parallel to actual ZVR, and that there are two Kirtlands in two universes, both with interdimensional spacetime portals and both with a basement full of robots

The special operatives of CVO in a hangar full of retro-looking war robots. "...lots and LOTS of 'BOTS."

A figure in a labcoat opening a large door to reveal scores of robots. "...he wasn't my ONLY friend."

Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 6d

Then you hit the end of issue 2, and the resulting spin-offs insist that the Zombies vs Robots continuity *is* Dimension Z, separate from CVO: Covert Vampiric Operations (the other part of this crossover) despite everything above showing CVO co-existing with ZVR elements

Two-page comic advert full of macabre artwork of zombies, robots, and conventionally attractive supernatural people. THE INFESTATION IS OVER, BUT THE OUTBREAK CONTINUES IN TWO UNIVERSES...

Zombies vs Robots: UnderCity is advertised on the left with "In Dimension Z, the zombies force mankind underground... where an even bigger threat awaits!"

Infestation: Outbreak is advertised on the right with "In the IDWverse, CVO is in tatters. So who will stand against a familiar threat from beyond the stars...?"

Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 6d

Infestation is barely compatible with ITSELF. In issue 1, the zombies are untethered from the Undermind hive intelligence and the infestation is contained to one facility in New Mexico. In the second issue, they've overrun the country and threatening the pres in the big white house

Cropped comic panel. A narrative caption reads "Kirtland Undergound Munitions Storage Complex, New Mexico." Green captions read "Quiet place. It all went quiet once the PORTALS had gone KER-BLOOEY. Zombies keeled over like puppets with their STRINGS CUT."

Comic artwork of a stern older man. His dialogue reads "The country is being overrun. Zombie numbers are increasing FASTER than we can track."

Comic panel of the White House in Washington, D.C.. It is surrounded by zombies.

Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 6d

Infestation brings back Sgt Wade! He was a key figure in the early days of the zombie war in ZVR: Aventure. Except in Infestation he gets glomped by zompies before the war even starts. Neither story is fully compatible with the other

"Realistic" (uncanny) comic artwork of a uniformed sergeant and a humanoid robot. The sergeant has scars down one side of his face and is smoking a cigar. The robot says "Sensors track a cluster of zombies drawing close." The sergeant says "Yeah? My one workin' eye sees the same thing. Now get to the sidelines, we might need ya sooner than I'd like."

Three panels of comic artwork in which the same sergeant with scars and a cigar stands with his back to a writhing energy portal. In the first panel he says, "...unlimited Guantanamo Bays, rendition on DEMAND. A friggin' brave new world, where WE set the rules. What do you think, gentlemen?" In the subsequent two panels he is grabbed by zombified hands and pulled through the portal to his apparent death.

Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 6d

In ZvR the zombie war starts when a scientist brings zombies through a trans-dimensional portal from his own future. In Infestation that same portal in the same lab leads to Dimension Z, a whole zombo universee

Comic artwork of a man in a robot suit being pursued by zombies. He is running towards a circular portal hanging in the air, saying "Dammitalltohell. This burns like a-acid. ...Herbert, up to-to youuuu..."

Comic artwork of a large lab with what's basically a Stargate. Scientists and robots attend to computer consoles while a military figure gives a speech to assembled VIPs. "A genuine, I-kid-you-not, INTERDIMENSIONAL PORTAL. It's a gateway into DIMENSION Z. You KNOW that the "Z" stands for. Don 't make me say it. Let's just remember the catch-all phrase "cadavers animated by an engineered viral strain of unknown origin." We think the gateway is where the release came from."

Gherkin 🥒 @thelastgherkin.bsky.social · 6d

Still thinking about Infestation man. Oh you want the zombies and robots from Zombies vs Robots to spread through the multiverse? Cool. Oh and it's written to be incompatible with the established Zombies vs Robots timeline? No prob

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