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The Lavender Witch

@thelavenderwitch.bsky.social

1.2K followers 610 following 6.2K posts

Not safe for clout goblins. Tarot reader, witch, goth, queer. They/them. https://ko-fi.com/thelavenderwitch

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The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · Jun 4

FYI, my Ko-fi shop takes a chunk, too. So, if you're booking something, use the Donation tab, not the shop, and send me a DM about what you booked. I need the money more than they do. #witchsky #tarotsky

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The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 3h

That's a huge achievement, though.

The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 9h

The other day, I overheard a group of very young boys talking about how much porn they each have access to.

Those parents need to be in jail for neglect.

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The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 9h

a picture of a pikachu with the words hmm skill issue

Alt: a picture of a pikachu with the words hmm skill issue

media.tenor.com

The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 9h

We'll never have a functioning mental health system...

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The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 9h

Oh, aren't you blessed.

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The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 9h

Being a deadbeat dad whilst a billionaire is extremely embarrassing.

The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 9h

Exactly, exactly...

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The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 9h

Let me the first to warn you that sometimes witchcraft looks like cooking meth #witchsky

Or you look like you're on meth.

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The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 10h

Extremely nice for me.

The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 10h

Thank you

The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 11h

FYI, glitter is a horrible baneful ingredient. Do with this what you will. #witch #witchsky

The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 13h

If you can't remove the thorn from your side, just be the thorn in their side. #witchsky

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The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 11h

I just snatched an antique Victorian black glass vase for a steal. #goth #vintage #antique

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The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 13h

If you can't remove the thorn from your side, just be the thorn in their side. #witchsky

The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 1d

Oh, it arrived, and it's so cool. I can even use it to play Xena. #witchsky

The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 1d

First Wives Club today would be Trad Wives Club.

The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 1d

Mariah Carey hasn't even defrosted. What are you doing?

The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 1d

Bi/pan women stop dating homophobic straight men or at least keep them home. Come on.

The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 1d

Yeah, except it's full of Christmas shite already. LET ME SEE THE PUMPKINS!

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The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 1d

All magic practitioners should have each other's backs

The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 2d

Still mad about my best friend dating a man who looks like a saggy, old, grumpy testicle.

The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 2d

Your grandmother didn't like you.

The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 2d

Girl, it's October, and I'm twiddling my spooky dick... That's not fair, now, is it? Book a witch. #witchsky #pagansky #tarotsky

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The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 2d

What's Gen X doing? Making Diane Keaton's death about them. As. Per. Usual.

The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 2d

You know, I was just considering giving someone nightmares.

The Lavender Witch @thelavenderwitch.bsky.social · 2d

Black people on TikTok crashing out over Diane Keaton really speaks to who she was.