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Paul Church

@thepaulchurch.bsky.social

170 followers 110 following 250 posts

Cambridge, Ontario 🍁 Snapping Turtle Stables 🐴 Inovia Capital "executive in residence" 🚀 ex-Google Cloud Healthcare 🩺

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Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · 1d

a man wearing a black sweater and a white shirt is making a face .

ALT: a man wearing a black sweater and a white shirt is making a face .

media.tenor.com

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · 10d

I'm shocked, SHOCKED that that the facts used to include you on these lists may have been of sub-standard quality.

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · 11d

They titled a BBS door game "TradeWars 2002" because 2002 sounded like a long time in the future.

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Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · 17d

"I regret to announce that - though, as I said, eleventy-one years is far too short a time to spend among you - this is the END. I am going. I am leaving NOW. GOOD-BYE!" he said, and was abruptly raptured.

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · 22d

scientists baffled as the success rate of the breakfast-themed neg attempt remains stubbornly at zero

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Sep 10

squash is the plural of quash but there was a terrible mutation along the way

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Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Sep 8

ugh, the tools hit exactly in a blind spot of my hand-eye coordination where trying to switch from RT to up/down+RB has such a high failure rate that I have to neglect them completely instead - I wonder if I'd do better with them on Y...

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Sep 8

did you mean: lesbian bidet? 😂

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Sep 6

Haunted Chocolatier, probably.

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Sep 4

bathing in raccoon blood was 64% more effective than drinking according to a study I saw on facebook but you won't get that kind of information from the corrupt mainstream establishment

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Aug 28

twenty dollars, same as in town

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Aug 27

My child, when you saw only one set of penises in the sand, it was then that...

...actually it's probably better if you don't know exactly where my dual foot-penises were. Let's just say they were "otherwise occupied".

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Aug 27

Tom Clancy rises from his grave, grabs a notepad and begins scribbling frantic notes.

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Aug 25

Obviously, $80k wouldn't be enough if the job was to edit Ed down to one 800 word column a week.

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Aug 25

[F] Interact

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Aug 22

Trump take distant cheese

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Aug 19

I'm suddenly anxious about being home before the streetlights come on.

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Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Aug 17

What I particularly love about this post is that the post itself reads as being likely AI-generated.

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Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Aug 14

I absolutely love "Fist Pump Jump Jump" by the Ying Yang Twins. What a bizarre song. I would categorize it as "not crunk, but crunk-adjacent", a description that could never apply to any other song.

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Aug 13

It's so interesting that you mentioned Same Time, Next Year! I read a book version of that a long time ago (it's pretty obscure, I'm not entirely sure whether it was a novelization of the play or the film) and it really stuck with me as a portrayal of...non-monogamy? not-quite-monogamy? 😂

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Aug 6

I know what you're thinking: 'Did she make six pots of tea or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself.

a close up of a man 's face with the words do you feel lucky punk above him

Alt: Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry with the words "do you feel lucky, punk?"

media.tenor.com

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Aug 3

Handcuffs. The kitchen scissors of the dungeon.

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Jul 30

All these years, what was truly missing from software engineering was the option to sexually harass my C++ code.

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Jul 30

but is a hot dog a sandwich, if it is a burrito?

Paul Church @thepaulchurch.bsky.social · Jul 29

ace: contain fuckin (adjective) multitudes
hyper: contain fuckin (noun) multitudes