Thomas Howard Riley
@thomashowardriley.bsky.social
author of rated-R fantasy sagas | cat whisperer | father of 2 tiny superheroes | history nerd | guitarist | swordfighter | evil wizard | lover of chonky books | notorious car radio singalong extraordinaire
thomashowardriley.com
thomashowardriley.com
My 5yr old just discovered that I have actual real swords
My cool factor just went up 1000 coolness points according to his official report regarding the matter
He asked wide-eyed if any were “legendary swords”
I assured him I found each one in a secret cave atop a mountain
My cool factor just went up 1000 coolness points according to his official report regarding the matter
He asked wide-eyed if any were “legendary swords”
I assured him I found each one in a secret cave atop a mountain
November 25, 2025 at 4:13 PM
My 5yr old just discovered that I have actual real swords
My cool factor just went up 1000 coolness points according to his official report regarding the matter
He asked wide-eyed if any were “legendary swords”
I assured him I found each one in a secret cave atop a mountain
My cool factor just went up 1000 coolness points according to his official report regarding the matter
He asked wide-eyed if any were “legendary swords”
I assured him I found each one in a secret cave atop a mountain
I feel like if Robert Jordan had balanced every “she folded her arms beneath her breasts” with a “he crossed his legs adjacent to his balls” there would have been far less criticism
November 24, 2025 at 5:54 PM
I feel like if Robert Jordan had balanced every “she folded her arms beneath her breasts” with a “he crossed his legs adjacent to his balls” there would have been far less criticism
Don’t write half assed books.
Take the time. Do the work. Give em the whole ass.
Take the time. Do the work. Give em the whole ass.
November 21, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Don’t write half assed books.
Take the time. Do the work. Give em the whole ass.
Take the time. Do the work. Give em the whole ass.
Ironically, one of the longest chapters in We Break Immortals (7300 words) is often mistaken for the shortest bc the tension keeps the pages turning
I generally aim for 3K-5K words (it’s epic fantasy, if I wrote thrillers it’d be shorter 😂) but I’ll go longer if a scene demands
I generally aim for 3K-5K words (it’s epic fantasy, if I wrote thrillers it’d be shorter 😂) but I’ll go longer if a scene demands
November 20, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Ironically, one of the longest chapters in We Break Immortals (7300 words) is often mistaken for the shortest bc the tension keeps the pages turning
I generally aim for 3K-5K words (it’s epic fantasy, if I wrote thrillers it’d be shorter 😂) but I’ll go longer if a scene demands
I generally aim for 3K-5K words (it’s epic fantasy, if I wrote thrillers it’d be shorter 😂) but I’ll go longer if a scene demands
I don’t know about you, but this is how I feel like I sound every time I try to market my books 🤣
It does not come naturally to me at all
I’m almost certain I’m doing more than just shaking people and screaming “read my books dammit!” but I’m not all the way certain
It does not come naturally to me at all
I’m almost certain I’m doing more than just shaking people and screaming “read my books dammit!” but I’m not all the way certain
a man in a striped shirt and tie says i have people skills i am good at dealing with people can t you understand that
ALT: a man in a striped shirt and tie says i have people skills i am good at dealing with people can t you understand that
media.tenor.com
November 20, 2025 at 4:35 PM
I don’t know about you, but this is how I feel like I sound every time I try to market my books 🤣
It does not come naturally to me at all
I’m almost certain I’m doing more than just shaking people and screaming “read my books dammit!” but I’m not all the way certain
It does not come naturally to me at all
I’m almost certain I’m doing more than just shaking people and screaming “read my books dammit!” but I’m not all the way certain
Hey friends and beasties! I’ll be cavorting with the Bearded Book Beast in an hour and a half! Feel free to stop by and join the fun.
November 19, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Hey friends and beasties! I’ll be cavorting with the Bearded Book Beast in an hour and a half! Feel free to stop by and join the fun.
I can’t imagine We Break Immortals without Keluwen as a POV, yet she did not exist for the first 16 drafts
I can’t imagine The Monsters We Feed w/out Jansi Wake & the poor hidden wizards of Tenement Lane yet didn’t think of them until the final draft
The muse is rarely punctual
I can’t imagine The Monsters We Feed w/out Jansi Wake & the poor hidden wizards of Tenement Lane yet didn’t think of them until the final draft
The muse is rarely punctual
November 19, 2025 at 5:46 PM
I can’t imagine We Break Immortals without Keluwen as a POV, yet she did not exist for the first 16 drafts
I can’t imagine The Monsters We Feed w/out Jansi Wake & the poor hidden wizards of Tenement Lane yet didn’t think of them until the final draft
The muse is rarely punctual
I can’t imagine The Monsters We Feed w/out Jansi Wake & the poor hidden wizards of Tenement Lane yet didn’t think of them until the final draft
The muse is rarely punctual
are you a plotter or a pantser?
I pants my plot outlines then try to write to the plot but as character voices develop I re-pants scenes & entire arcs then re-outline to fit it all in & usually think of some pivotal idea at the end & have to go back & re-plot over existing plot
I pants my plot outlines then try to write to the plot but as character voices develop I re-pants scenes & entire arcs then re-outline to fit it all in & usually think of some pivotal idea at the end & have to go back & re-plot over existing plot
November 18, 2025 at 4:27 PM
are you a plotter or a pantser?
I pants my plot outlines then try to write to the plot but as character voices develop I re-pants scenes & entire arcs then re-outline to fit it all in & usually think of some pivotal idea at the end & have to go back & re-plot over existing plot
I pants my plot outlines then try to write to the plot but as character voices develop I re-pants scenes & entire arcs then re-outline to fit it all in & usually think of some pivotal idea at the end & have to go back & re-plot over existing plot
Trying to keep track of which character has what wounds in a 120 page final battle is not as easy as it sounds
November 17, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Trying to keep track of which character has what wounds in a 120 page final battle is not as easy as it sounds
I came here to chew bubble gum and write some fucked up epic fantasy.
And build cat shelters in my back yard.
And I’m all outta bubble gum.
But not cat shelters. I’ve still got a ways to go there.
And build cat shelters in my back yard.
And I’m all outta bubble gum.
But not cat shelters. I’ve still got a ways to go there.
November 15, 2025 at 6:25 PM
I came here to chew bubble gum and write some fucked up epic fantasy.
And build cat shelters in my back yard.
And I’m all outta bubble gum.
But not cat shelters. I’ve still got a ways to go there.
And build cat shelters in my back yard.
And I’m all outta bubble gum.
But not cat shelters. I’ve still got a ways to go there.
Reposted by Thomas Howard Riley
Speaking of under reviewed books
What? You didn't ask?
Hey, I don't come to where you work and poop on your desk
What? You didn't ask?
Hey, I don't come to where you work and poop on your desk
November 14, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Speaking of under reviewed books
What? You didn't ask?
Hey, I don't come to where you work and poop on your desk
What? You didn't ask?
Hey, I don't come to where you work and poop on your desk
I feel like a real writer should love the writing part, the euphoria of their own thoughts coming together to breathe life into characters and worlds.
I just don’t believe that someone who loves writing would ever ask a machine to rob them of the joy of creating their story.
I just don’t believe that someone who loves writing would ever ask a machine to rob them of the joy of creating their story.
November 14, 2025 at 5:20 PM
I feel like a real writer should love the writing part, the euphoria of their own thoughts coming together to breathe life into characters and worlds.
I just don’t believe that someone who loves writing would ever ask a machine to rob them of the joy of creating their story.
I just don’t believe that someone who loves writing would ever ask a machine to rob them of the joy of creating their story.
What inspired me to choose a brutal desert as the setting for The Light Of Kasaban you ask?
Because I live in a desert & it’s fucking hot as hell & I decided you all needed to hear about it😂
But also because it perfectly mirrors the oppressive vibe of the characters’ situation
Because I live in a desert & it’s fucking hot as hell & I decided you all needed to hear about it😂
But also because it perfectly mirrors the oppressive vibe of the characters’ situation
November 13, 2025 at 7:56 PM
What inspired me to choose a brutal desert as the setting for The Light Of Kasaban you ask?
Because I live in a desert & it’s fucking hot as hell & I decided you all needed to hear about it😂
But also because it perfectly mirrors the oppressive vibe of the characters’ situation
Because I live in a desert & it’s fucking hot as hell & I decided you all needed to hear about it😂
But also because it perfectly mirrors the oppressive vibe of the characters’ situation
I have ADHD and my social media profile pics needing to be updated to all match each other is one of my doom piles
November 13, 2025 at 4:41 PM
I have ADHD and my social media profile pics needing to be updated to all match each other is one of my doom piles
Editing fun:
“She held on to those precious mamories as hard as she could, but the more she sought to retain them the harder the creature fought to take them.”
Oh…ohhhhh dear.
“She held on to those precious mamories as hard as she could, but the more she sought to retain them the harder the creature fought to take them.”
Oh…ohhhhh dear.
November 12, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Editing fun:
“She held on to those precious mamories as hard as she could, but the more she sought to retain them the harder the creature fought to take them.”
Oh…ohhhhh dear.
“She held on to those precious mamories as hard as she could, but the more she sought to retain them the harder the creature fought to take them.”
Oh…ohhhhh dear.
I wish we could write books made up of all the cool lines we swore we wouldn’t need to write down because we’d never forget them and then promptly forgot them
November 12, 2025 at 3:56 PM
I wish we could write books made up of all the cool lines we swore we wouldn’t need to write down because we’d never forget them and then promptly forgot them
tbh if my readers are swearing their heads off at me by the end of one of my books I will consider it a great success
November 11, 2025 at 5:01 PM
tbh if my readers are swearing their heads off at me by the end of one of my books I will consider it a great success
Being able to thrill readers with what you create is just top tier awesome
November 10, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Being able to thrill readers with what you create is just top tier awesome
I don’t know what kind of cyberpunk wifi-delivered drugs they’re lacing this Kpop Demonhunters movie with but my kids never sat through a full animated movie in their lives without getting bored & wandering off, yet are obsessed with this
They call it CakePop Demonhunters though
They call it CakePop Demonhunters though
November 8, 2025 at 3:44 PM
I don’t know what kind of cyberpunk wifi-delivered drugs they’re lacing this Kpop Demonhunters movie with but my kids never sat through a full animated movie in their lives without getting bored & wandering off, yet are obsessed with this
They call it CakePop Demonhunters though
They call it CakePop Demonhunters though
I stumble across all manner of delightful things while researching horrific stuff for my books
Today I leaned about “the Swedish Drink”
Fucking diabolical
I mean, it’s definitely going in one of my books…..but diabolical
Today I leaned about “the Swedish Drink”
Fucking diabolical
I mean, it’s definitely going in one of my books…..but diabolical
November 7, 2025 at 7:04 PM
I stumble across all manner of delightful things while researching horrific stuff for my books
Today I leaned about “the Swedish Drink”
Fucking diabolical
I mean, it’s definitely going in one of my books…..but diabolical
Today I leaned about “the Swedish Drink”
Fucking diabolical
I mean, it’s definitely going in one of my books…..but diabolical
Penelope is supposed to be writing my next book and acting as my publicist but instead she is sleeping the day away at the spa.
November 6, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Penelope is supposed to be writing my next book and acting as my publicist but instead she is sleeping the day away at the spa.
destroying the one ring ⚖️ trying to get my children to put their fucking shoes on in the morning
November 5, 2025 at 2:46 PM
destroying the one ring ⚖️ trying to get my children to put their fucking shoes on in the morning
How do you know you’re an author?
When you think of a great quote that is definitely going to go in the book you’re writing after the book that is after the book that is after the book that you’re writing now.
When you think of a great quote that is definitely going to go in the book you’re writing after the book that is after the book that is after the book that you’re writing now.
November 4, 2025 at 6:30 PM
How do you know you’re an author?
When you think of a great quote that is definitely going to go in the book you’re writing after the book that is after the book that is after the book that you’re writing now.
When you think of a great quote that is definitely going to go in the book you’re writing after the book that is after the book that is after the book that you’re writing now.
When you’re trying to write a book but you get sidetracked wondering why H isn’t pronounced ‘hay’, and W isn’t pronounced ‘wee’, or at the very least ‘wubbleyew’
November 3, 2025 at 3:54 PM
When you’re trying to write a book but you get sidetracked wondering why H isn’t pronounced ‘hay’, and W isn’t pronounced ‘wee’, or at the very least ‘wubbleyew’
I introduced my children to fried bologna sandwiches for the first time and my son immediately asked me to put peanut butter on it and now I don’t know what to think
November 2, 2025 at 1:42 AM
I introduced my children to fried bologna sandwiches for the first time and my son immediately asked me to put peanut butter on it and now I don’t know what to think