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The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑

@tisfwp.bsky.social

80 followers 160 following 290 posts

Formally funded by Big Whine. Exposing the universe's injustices, one first-world problem at a time. 100% Satire. USA 🇺🇸! https://cash.app/$JDizzle204

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The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · Jul 8

Our research into why we need a 45-minute "buffer" of scrolling social media before getting out of bed has hit a funding wall. This vital work cannot continue without your support.

Help us solve one of life's most pressing mysteries. Send emergency research grants to $JDizzle204, for science.

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The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 1d

The Institute is deep in Halloween costume planning. The primary challenge is finding a culturally relevant outfit that won't cause immediate heatstroke in 85°F weather.

#Halloween #TexasFall #Follow #Like #FirstWorldProblems #CostumeCrisis #NeedCoffee

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 8d

#sharktank @mcuban.bsky.social #High

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 8d

For years, the Institute has been strategically identifying, analyzing, and even creating First World Problems. Where should we submit our application for the Presidential Medal of Freedom?

#MedalOfFreedom #FirstWorldProblems #Influence #CulturalImpact

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 9d

It's past midnight in mid-October. The Institute is fulfilling our seasonal obligation of watching a horror movie. However, the true horror is the dawning realization that we will pay for this decision during our 9 AM meeting tomorrow.
#SpookySeason #Adulting #FirstWorldProblems #FutureRegret

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 9d

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 10d

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 11d

three women in white suits are dancing in a room

ALT: three women in white suits are dancing in a room

media.tenor.com

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 11d

#FreeTheWeed

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 13d

We are now engaged in "Aggressive Typing," a late-Friday strategy where one types very loudly to create the illusion of urgent work. In reality, we are just repeatedly typing "the weekend is almost here" and Googling pictures of dogs.
#WorkLife #FridayVibes #FirstWorldProblems #BusyDoingNothing

Reposted by The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 14d

The Institute has been diligently posting for the cause on this app for nearly a year. A question for Bluesky management: Who in the Antifa/Soros HR department handles direct deposit issues? Our paycheck seems to be missing.

#ShillLife #FirstWorldProblems #PayrollIssues @bsky.app

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 14d

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 15d

The Institute is now consuming our "Sad Desk Lunch." A culinary experience defined by lukewarm leftovers, the quiet hum of a computer, and the crushing weight of a thousand unread emails. We do this to "save time," but the cost to our souls is immeasurable.
#WorkLife #FirstWorldProblems #HumpDay

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 16d

ANTIFA at it again

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 16d

The Institute is watching Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983). Our modern, CGI-rotted brains find it difficult to be truly terrified by the practical effects. That's not a monster on the wing; that's a very talented puppet, and we respect its work.
#TwilightZone #80sHorror #FirstWorldProblems #SFX

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 17d

The Institute is aware of several ongoing global situations of great importance. However, a more immediate crisis has our full attention: our coffee is disappointingly lukewarm. It is hard to focus on world events during a beverage tragedy.
#CurrentEvents #CoffeeCrisis #FirstWorldProblems

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 20d

12:45 AM. October. The Institute can now scientifically confirm that every unexplained noise in the house is a ghost. The hum of the fridge? A ghost. A floorboard creaking? Definitely a ghost. We are taking this very seriously. #SpookySeason #LateNight #FirstWorldProblems #ParanormalInvestigation

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 21d

#trumpsamerica #ai

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 23d

The Institute is in the process of service dog training. We are currently working on the crucial task of "detecting when a streaming service is about to ask 'Are you still watching?' and intervening to press 'Yes'."

#ServiceDog #FirstWorldProblems #Training #BingeWatching

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 24d

Unwinding from a stressful Monday by watching the WNUF Halloween Special. The Institute finds that immersing ourselves in grainy, cursed 1980s television is a uniquely effective method for forgetting about our modern, high-definition anxieties.
#WNUF #Shudder #FirstWorldProblems #Relaxation

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 24d

The Institute's brain is attempting to reboot for the week. This morning, the startup process was unusually slow and may require multiple external power sources (coffee). We apologize for the delay in achieving basic functionality.
#MondayMood #Rebooting #FirstWorldProblems #CoffeeNeeded

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 27d

The timeline is full of complex current events requiring nuanced thought. The Institute's brain, however, is currently a smooth, shiny orb capable only of thinking about lunch and the sweet release of 5 PM. We cannot process at this time.
#FridayFeeling #BrainOffline #FirstWorldProblems #AlmostThere

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 28d

The Institute is rewatching The Ring (2002). The most terrifying part is no longer the creepy girl climbing out of the TV but having to explain to a younger person what a "VHS tape" is. We feel like historical artifacts.
#TheRing #GettingOld #FirstWorldProblems #PleaseBeKindRewind #OldDays

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 28d

Reading about a massive illegal marijuana grow operation in Navajo Nation. The Institute is frankly humbled. We can't keep a single basil plant alive on our kitchen windowsill. The agricultural skill gap is staggering.
#GardeningFails #FirstWorldProblems #SkillGap

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 28d

The Institute is perfecting the art of the "thoughtful, prolonged stare" at our computer screen. This advanced technique gives the illusion of deep work, while the brain is just a screensaver of a beach.
#WorkLife #ThursdayVibes #FirstWorldProblems #BusyDoingNothing

The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · 28d

The Institute has reviewed the grim reports on rising grocery prices.
Our primary concern: The skyrocketing cost of artisanal, small-batch oat milk is threatening the very foundation of our morning latte routine. This is an unsustainable economic bubble. #Inflation #FirstWorldProblem #EconomicCrisis