Tom Flannery
@tomflannery.bsky.social
tomflannery.substack.com
(2 new columns a week)
TomFlannery.com
Proud member of the resistance. Husband. Dad. Columnist. Songwriter. Playwright. In a band.
(2 new columns a week)
TomFlannery.com
Proud member of the resistance. Husband. Dad. Columnist. Songwriter. Playwright. In a band.
I’ll give him one thing. Threatening to kill members of Congress sure took the bit about him calling a female reporter “piggy” off the front page.
November 21, 2025 at 3:22 PM
I’ll give him one thing. Threatening to kill members of Congress sure took the bit about him calling a female reporter “piggy” off the front page.
Look at that picture. Look at it again. Defend it. I dare you. Imagine a man raising his finger like that to your daughter. Your wife. Your sister. Your mother. You’d break it off in his ass.
Strong men don’t act like this. You know who acts like this?
Cunts.
Strong men don’t act like this. You know who acts like this?
Cunts.
He keeps finding new ways to be appalling....
He keeps finding new ways to be appalling.
open.substack.com
November 21, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Look at that picture. Look at it again. Defend it. I dare you. Imagine a man raising his finger like that to your daughter. Your wife. Your sister. Your mother. You’d break it off in his ass.
Strong men don’t act like this. You know who acts like this?
Cunts.
Strong men don’t act like this. You know who acts like this?
Cunts.
Never in my life have I heard the term “underage man”.
November 20, 2025 at 2:31 AM
Never in my life have I heard the term “underage man”.
Online wags started calling Megyn Kelly “Megyn R. Kelly” and this is why I keep logging on…
November 14, 2025 at 6:48 PM
Online wags started calling Megyn Kelly “Megyn R. Kelly” and this is why I keep logging on…
“….. If it comes down to the children, or owning the libs….well…sorry kiddos. In the MAGAverse, morality becomes a Kissingerian concept. So you’re all Cambodians now…”
Chief Brody's chum.....
The Epstein files.
open.substack.com
November 14, 2025 at 4:40 PM
“….. If it comes down to the children, or owning the libs….well…sorry kiddos. In the MAGAverse, morality becomes a Kissingerian concept. So you’re all Cambodians now…”
“He was the most popular black entertainer in America, largely due to his appeal to white audiences. And yet, there were still places in his own country where he could not get a meal….”
The Songs - A Change Is Gonna Come
This is another entry in my ongoing “Songs That Visited Me and Decided They Wanted to Stay” series.
open.substack.com
November 7, 2025 at 4:54 PM
“He was the most popular black entertainer in America, largely due to his appeal to white audiences. And yet, there were still places in his own country where he could not get a meal….”
MAGA bros watching the results come in last night….
November 5, 2025 at 8:40 PM
MAGA bros watching the results come in last night….
The Songs - Tears of a Clown
Now if there’s a smile on my face
open.substack.com
November 4, 2025 at 9:04 PM
If they can come here, they can go anywhere…
“The other side buys sneakers too...”
The “news”.
open.substack.com
October 31, 2025 at 5:37 PM
If they can come here, they can go anywhere…
77 million Americans are actively celebrating the fact that millions of their neighbors, including children, are about to go hungry.
October 28, 2025 at 2:03 AM
77 million Americans are actively celebrating the fact that millions of their neighbors, including children, are about to go hungry.
Saw the Springsteen movie tonight. It was good. My only issue?
Jeremy Allen White can learn how to cook for The Bear but he can’t learn how to play a D chord?
Jeremy Allen White can learn how to cook for The Bear but he can’t learn how to play a D chord?
October 26, 2025 at 1:13 AM
Saw the Springsteen movie tonight. It was good. My only issue?
Jeremy Allen White can learn how to cook for The Bear but he can’t learn how to play a D chord?
Jeremy Allen White can learn how to cook for The Bear but he can’t learn how to play a D chord?
Trump about to put a tariff on the Toronto Blue Jays
October 25, 2025 at 2:59 AM
Trump about to put a tariff on the Toronto Blue Jays
“ICE and immigration enforcement has $170 billion dollars to spend over the next 4 years. To put that into some sort of perspective, Israel’s military budget over the same period is $54 billion. When adjusted for inflation, the ICE budget rivals the annual cost of the entire Vietnam War….”
"...harassing the most harassible..."
ICE and immigration enforcement has $170 billion dollars to spend over the next 4 years.
open.substack.com
October 24, 2025 at 9:23 PM
“ICE and immigration enforcement has $170 billion dollars to spend over the next 4 years. To put that into some sort of perspective, Israel’s military budget over the same period is $54 billion. When adjusted for inflation, the ICE budget rivals the annual cost of the entire Vietnam War….”
“The East Wing of the White House is currently being bulldozed to make room for Trump’s 90,000 square foot Mar-a-Lago-esque ballroom, which when complete will surely look like a gold-plated opium den….”
"Could the optics get worse? You know they can..."
I thought the AI generated post of Trump as a fighter pilot (with his oxygen mask strangely covering only his chin…as if his Covid manhood was still being threatened) dropping literal shit on his own ...
open.substack.com
October 21, 2025 at 4:18 PM
“The East Wing of the White House is currently being bulldozed to make room for Trump’s 90,000 square foot Mar-a-Lago-esque ballroom, which when complete will surely look like a gold-plated opium den….”
“….. The soul is both a terrible thing to waste, and difficult to re-create in Python or Java. The soul is what put “napoleon in rags” inside “Like a Rolling Stone”. If you’re trying to re-create Dylan using 0s and 1s, you’re gonna need a bigger data center…”
The end of Dennis Nedry and Napoleon in rags....
I use basic AI assistants.
open.substack.com
October 16, 2025 at 4:37 PM
“….. The soul is both a terrible thing to waste, and difficult to re-create in Python or Java. The soul is what put “napoleon in rags” inside “Like a Rolling Stone”. If you’re trying to re-create Dylan using 0s and 1s, you’re gonna need a bigger data center…”
In this type of environment, individuals are powerless. They can easily be propagandized into dust. But when many rise as one, and by “many” I mean volumes that require helicopters to estimate, evil trembles. Evil fears a mass movement even more than it fears ridicule.
Is this what you signed up for?
How is all this chaos affecting you?
open.substack.com
October 14, 2025 at 3:59 PM
In this type of environment, individuals are powerless. They can easily be propagandized into dust. But when many rise as one, and by “many” I mean volumes that require helicopters to estimate, evil trembles. Evil fears a mass movement even more than it fears ridicule.
The president was asked if he had given any thought to suspending habeas corpus and he responded “suspending who?”
This could mean 2 things.
1. He didn’t hear the question
2. He doesn’t know what habeas corpus is
Which is more likely?
This could mean 2 things.
1. He didn’t hear the question
2. He doesn’t know what habeas corpus is
Which is more likely?
October 9, 2025 at 9:04 PM
The president was asked if he had given any thought to suspending habeas corpus and he responded “suspending who?”
This could mean 2 things.
1. He didn’t hear the question
2. He doesn’t know what habeas corpus is
Which is more likely?
This could mean 2 things.
1. He didn’t hear the question
2. He doesn’t know what habeas corpus is
Which is more likely?
Remember when Jerry MaGuire said that working for his client Rod Tidwell was an “up at dawn pride swallowing siege”?
That’s the perfect description of being a Phillies fan.
That’s the perfect description of being a Phillies fan.
October 5, 2025 at 2:42 AM
Remember when Jerry MaGuire said that working for his client Rod Tidwell was an “up at dawn pride swallowing siege”?
That’s the perfect description of being a Phillies fan.
That’s the perfect description of being a Phillies fan.
“…. aren’t the ones perpetually bitching about the half-time show the same crew who swore they’d never watch the NFL again after Colin Kaepernick took a knee? How did you dudes get back in here anyway?”
Bad Bunny and the bosom measurements in "Whole Lotta Rosie"
I will admit that me and Bad Bunny do not travel in the same musical circles.
open.substack.com
October 2, 2025 at 9:36 PM
“…. aren’t the ones perpetually bitching about the half-time show the same crew who swore they’d never watch the NFL again after Colin Kaepernick took a knee? How did you dudes get back in here anyway?”
“…..most of ‘em have to look at Trump and Hegseth and see little boys playing soldier. Most of them have to be uniquely embarrassed that they were summoned and lectured by two guys who shit themselves when a trans person walks into the room…”
The Griswold’s at Wally World
You run out of things to say.
open.substack.com
September 30, 2025 at 8:21 PM
“…..most of ‘em have to look at Trump and Hegseth and see little boys playing soldier. Most of them have to be uniquely embarrassed that they were summoned and lectured by two guys who shit themselves when a trans person walks into the room…”
“Here was the so-called leader of the free world making about as much sense as a guy 24 Miller Lites deep at 2am. It was like watching a Ted Talk from Dr Strangelove….”
"It was like watching a Ted Talk from Dr Strangelove...."
Today’s bit is free but most are not so I really really want you to become a paid subscriber.
open.substack.com
September 24, 2025 at 5:29 PM
“Here was the so-called leader of the free world making about as much sense as a guy 24 Miller Lites deep at 2am. It was like watching a Ted Talk from Dr Strangelove….”
I’ve had 2am conversations with guys 24 Miller Lites deep that made more sense than Trump at the UN today
September 23, 2025 at 8:21 PM
I’ve had 2am conversations with guys 24 Miller Lites deep that made more sense than Trump at the UN today
At this point I’m actively rooting for the rapture.
September 23, 2025 at 1:14 PM
At this point I’m actively rooting for the rapture.
“I don’t have the stomach to re-hash the whole Jimmy Kimmel affair, except to say that giving the bully your lunch money does not stop the bully. It amazes me that corporate types do not grasp what was learned in the schoolyard….”
What did I miss?
Back at it.
open.substack.com
September 23, 2025 at 1:49 AM
“I don’t have the stomach to re-hash the whole Jimmy Kimmel affair, except to say that giving the bully your lunch money does not stop the bully. It amazes me that corporate types do not grasp what was learned in the schoolyard….”