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Tonight's Episode:

Tonight's Episode:

@tonightsepisode.bsky.social

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 24d

Titlecard from the television program THE VICTORIAN KITCHEN GARDEN. Colour shot of an illustrated titlecard, pen and ink, perhaps.

Depicts a wooden signboard, surrounded on its right and bottom edges by garden plants and vines. Predominantly green leaves, with some green beans, some blackberries, perhaps a small gourd and maybe a garlic clove. A cruciferous veg in a nest of broad leaves. Maybe some rosemary sprigs to finish things off.

Written on what is likely representative of a scroll of white paper unrolled upon the boardnat the image's centre: "October," in a capitalised Victorian font with the graduated autumnal colouring of earthy tones.

Folks? It is October.

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 6h

Virtually identical to the previous post's titlecard, but with several additional milling seamen and a white-helmeted MP now entering the frame from the right, this frame's text overlay reads "Guest Star June Lockhart."

The late June Lockhart, looking concerned as she stands, taking notes with pencil and paper in the cabin of a ship.

Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 6h

Time to flip over to ABC:

Titlecard from the television program VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA. In black and white, looking slightly up from the surface of the calm water that surrounds a nautical dock or quay constructed from straight-hewn stone or concrete, with nine courses of steps leading diagonally up from the water's edge at the frame's far right, and at the base of a much larger structure which stretches vertically up and out of frame.

Along a lower level directly adjacent to the water, a seaman in traditional working navy garb -- dark dungarees, light coloured chambray shirt and a white dixie cup hat -- is hauling on some form of rigging, which stretches vertically up and out of frame, where it may be tethered to a metal crane arm that extends from the bed of a midcentury construction-grade pickup truck on the raised quay concourse crossing the frame horizontally above at the top of the steps.

At least two other sailors mill about this truck, assisting.

On the frame's far left edge, a larger signboard that partially identifies the area as "Dock C-24."

This is the permanent berth of the atomic submarine Seaview, upon which many curious tales have unfolded.

Overlaid in white text (it may be... Lydian? font?) with a considerable black dropshadow, "The Ghost of Moby Dick."

Farewell, June Lockhart.

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 7h

June Lockhart's credit from the first season opening credits of LOST IN SPACE; a stylised line drawing of a female astronaut in a space suit floating through a starfield along a segmented tether.

In the upper left quadrant, in a stylised blocky handlettered font, "June Lockhart."

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The late June Lockhart, eyes sparkling, a heartfelt smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 7h

Titlecard from the television program LOST IN SPACE*. A monochromatic shot of two smiling women centred in frame on the surface of an apparently sandy, occasionally rocky planet other than Earth**.

On the left, an older blonde*** in a dark jumpsuit over a light coloured polo- or mock turtle- neck sweater. Facing her on the right, a brunette teen with a long dark ponytail wearing a medium-coloured two piece synthetic fibre uniform with a deep v-neck over a similar white polo or mock. She stands elevated on a small raised platform as the older blonde, a measuring tape dangling in hand, seems prepared to take her measurements.

(A waist-high table stretching toward us at the frame's bottom left, headed by a modular electronic component inlaid with dials and lights and pushbuttons, is otherwise strewn with samples of fabric and sheets of letter-sized paper upon which have been illustrated croquis or callouts and seems to support this suggestion.)

Behind them and toward the frame's left edge, several thin-framed portable metal tables whose surfaces are strewn with unidentifiable material. Rocks and soil? Electronic components? Who can say.

Creeping into view at the frame's left edge, the base and sloping edge of a saucer-shaped spaceship****.

Directly behind them, a lumpy stone or dirt mass rises to a height slightly beyond their heads. In the far distance, the desert stretching to a blackened horizon is populated with intermittent mesas of apparently sedimentary rock and occasional rising hoodoos.

Overlaid in plain white italicised Helvetica capital letters, "Ghost in Space."

*(1960s Irwin Allen Productions Variant. Come on.)

**(Likely Priplanus, a smaller celestial body with two moons located approximately 10 million light years from Earth, and seemingly in possession of similar atmospheric and gravitational conditions.)

***(This is, of course, the singular, luminous June Lockhart, who only just passed away at the age of 100.)

****(Probably the Jupiter 2)

Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 1d

Titlecard from the television program MAGNUM P.I. In colour, a thirtysomething tousle-headed brownhaired man* sits centred in frame with his hands folded, eyes downcast in deep thought or despondency.

He's dressed in a tan-, or light peach- (or... it might be rose-?) coloured blazer over a white button-up collared shirt with blue grid windowpane pattern, its top two (Or three. Or four!) buttons undone. His brown trousers are visible covering the knee and shin of one crossed leg poking into view from beneath a polished wooden desk or table.

On that surface in front of him and out of focus, a tall clear drinking glass and a standard issue institutional chromed coffee pot with black plastic handle and lid.

To the frame's left edge and behind him, the shadow of a tall tree or plant is cast upon what appears to be a fully drawn woven bamboo windowshade.

Overlaid in Helvetica-styled capitals with a slim black dropshadow, "The Curse of the King Kamehameha Club."

*(This is the actor Larry Manetti, here in the role of Thomas Magnum's perpetually beleaguered longtime friend and colleague Orville Wilbur Richard 'Rick' Wright who, among myriad other duties above and below board, manages the eponymous King Kahmehameha Club**.)

**(True story: for several years just before this he ran a club called "Rick's Café Americain***" where he cruised around hosting and gladhanding Hawaiian disco parties while pretending to be Humphrey Bogart**** (The character, Wright, not the actor, Manetti).)

***(This is a CASABLANCA (1942) reference. CASABLANCA was itself turned into a television program. Twice; in 1955 and 1983, where Humphrey Bogart was impersonated***** by Charles McGraw and David Soul, respectively.

****(star of the motion picture CASABLANCA (1942).)

*****(this is uncharitable. Both television portrayals of Rick Blaine are all but entirely divorced from Bogart, and indeed have their own rewarding nuances.)

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 2d

Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 3d

Titlecard from the television program GARTH MARENGHI'S DARKPLACE. In colour, with an overwhelmingly predominant green tint, a high-angled overhead shot depicts, in its bottom half and stretching diagonally up and to the frame's left, a squat rectilinear institutional concrete or masonry building of at least six storeys, each floor delineated by cells of wide, vertical windows or balconies that line its perimeter. On the ground floor, a large, long awning outcrop identifies what is likely the building's entrance. This is Darkplace Hospital*

The building appears alone on an otherwise barren, rocky-looking plain crisscrossed with fissures and low-rising mounds. Behind it in the distance grey foothills lazily rise.

Casting an otherworldly variegated chartreuse/forest green glow over the tableau**, what appear to be whirling malevolent clouds stretch across the frame's top third.

Overlaid in a simple and seemingly unconsidered plain white helvetica text, "Episode 6. The Creeping Moss from the Shores of Shuggoth."

(Lucky to have this, honestly. As I understand it, this is one of only 6 extant episodes of 50 produced (from sixty-odd-teleplays). Never broadcast anywhere but Peru!)

*(built over the gates of Hell. In Romford.)

**(Which might be a miniature.)

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 4d

Titlecard from the television program WILD WILD WEST. In black and white, a shot of a cavernous interior in a house or building that is home to a seemingly vast collection of tall plants.

In the distance to the right and through a thatch of leaves, fronds and stems, we can make out a white wooden baluster or railing with a shortened horizontal span. There may be a ramp or staircase ascending diagonally up and out of frame to the left; there may be yet another along a distant wall also on the left and beyond that.

Overlaid in a rounded 'Old West' style serif font with large white letters, "The Night of the Glowing Corpse."

The titular Glowing Corpse is nowhere in evidence. Then again, maybe it's behind one of these four hundred thousand ferns.

Additionally it's not possible to determine whether or not this tableau is set at night.

Perhaps we're safe, then. For now!

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 5d

Titlecard from the television program LOVE AND CURSES*. Colour shot of a cinema auditorium, its large screen front and centre on a raised wooden stage and flanked on both sides by an ornately hewn proscenium whose span sits atop two sets of doubled slender white painted columns with wraparound straight line spiral dugouts.

Rows of red leather or vinyl cinema seats, unraked and empty, fill this visible front portion of the theatre.

Projected onto the cinema's screen is a black and white image approximating the title treatment of an old horror picture where, overlain atop a background of swirling fog and rendered in stylised white straight-edged block letters whose terminals resemble ragged scratches or drips, can be read "Bride of the Wolfman."

(This image is kind of a... chaste cheat. While the episode title *does* appear onscreen following the opening credits, it's treatment there is, frankly, unremarkable. This far more interesting and evocative version of the title appears in the episode's teaser, which also means it's the earlier appearance. I have no idea why I feel compelled to clarify this. Pretty sure the Dumb Social Accounts Division of the Onscreen Episode Title Enforcement Agency have better things to do with their time. Like count the days until their pension kicks in, am I right? Those dumb assholes.
Anyway! For posterity: https://imgur.com/a/3xT50nf )

*(Which began life as the gothic and fogbound European paranormal procedural SHE-WOLF OF LONDON and was, after an underperforming first season, almost entirely retooled into a Moonlighting-styled Malibu romcom. This episode is from that shorter retooled second season; a weird PURPLE ROSE OF CAIRO adjacent black-and-white Universal Horrors pastiche with Tracy Walter doing his best Peter Lorre impression and Michael Berryman as a Frankenstein. It's a whack of dumb fun, especially if you're a fan of watching Kate Hodge eat popcorn.)

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 6d

Titlecard from the television program MEDICAL CENTER. Colour image of an L-shaped building* underneath a bright cerulean sky with a faint white wisp of cloud. It appears to be faced by predominantly rust-coloured polychrome brickwork over the course of at least ten storeys. Each floor has a row of windows, bisected vertically and with what might be interior shades drawn over their top halves**.

The wing of the building on the frame's right side is cast in shadow suggesting either early morning or late afternoon.

At the frame's bottom right quadrant, what might be a midcentury concrete awning supported by brick columns and is likely the building's entrance. A darkhaired man and a blonde woman, seen in shadow from shoulders-up, walk away from this outcrop toward the frame's left edge.

In the bottom left corner, a younger, pale-skinned woman in a traditional, apronless nurse uniform, complete with nurse's cap atop her medium length curled blonde hair. She's probably walking.

Overlaid in slim white text with a thin black shadow, "Terror".

Well, we've come full circle. Unscathed, hopefully. Phew. And so ends our week... of TERROR!

Now, on to MORE UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS!!!

*(Presumably the titular Medical Center, which to the best of my recollection is never named. Although it's variously been referred to as 'the University Medical Center,' and 'U.M.C.')

**(Then again, those two top quadrants might consist of frosted glass. Seems impractical that a second unit establishing exterior would ensure the shades of every single one of a building's windows would be drawn to precisely half position. )

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 7d

Titlecard from the television program JONNY QUEST. Colour artwork, primarily in shades of brown with smatterings of flecked crimson. The background is either a spiral or a pattern of roughly approximated concentric circles, with perpendicular rays emanating from the same centre, creating the appearance of a kind of thick crosshatching or netting. Either that or the effect of looking directly into the sun.

This tan coloured scribbling appears to have been either scratched into the darkened brown cross-section of a tree or etched into a flat stone surface.

At the centre, either carved in relief or stamped overtop, an unadorned illustration of a dark brown crab with fang-like mandibles, its legs akimbo and both closed pincers raised.

Overlaid in a swirling variegated blue-grey font that suggests either its having been hastily painted and dripping, composed of improbably churning water, or arranged with some weird type of seaweed, "Terror Island."

Terror!

Island Terror!

Like that movie ISLAND OF TERROR! Where the terror was crabs!

Wait, no. The terror in ISLAND OF TERROR was a mutated tentacled blob. ISLAND OF CLAWS was the giant crab island.

Wait, no. That was just ISLAND CLAWS.

Wait, MYSTERIOUS ISLAND had a giant crab, too.

MYSTERIOUS ISLAND OF TERRORBLE CLAWS!!!

Oh, boo, yourself.

YES, I'm done.

(terror)

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 8d

Titlecard from the television program CHARLIE'S ANGELS. Colour image of what appears to be the end of a hospital corridor.

Slightly right of centre, two swinging wooden doors, each with a wide metal kickplate along their bottom edge, a wide metal vertical handplate at their inner arcing edge, and a square frosted window centred in their top third. The door on the left bears a black rectangular signplate with white letters that may say "No Admittance," or "No Entry." A fluorescent light diffuser spans the ceiling above the doors, glowing pale white.

To the left of these doors along a wall, a glass-fronted firehose enclosure. To the left of that, along a perpendicular wall, another heavy wooden door with a similar black rectangular signplate that likely says "Amphitheatre."

To the frame's right in the room's corner, a towering accent plant with prominent green foliage. Some kind of ficus or a fiddle-leafed fig, maybe? Next to it, diagonally approaching the bottom of the frame, a light brown upholstered settee or love seat with dark brown cushions. Looks pretty comfortable.

At the frame's left edge, a pale, slick-haired man in olive green maintenance scrubs is hunched over a wood-handled mop or broom, whose handle stretches out of frame, atop a tile or linoleum institutional floor.

Overlaid in large capitalised text rendered in white Lee Bold font with a slim black dropshadow, "Terror on Ward One."

Terror!

ANGELS of TERROR!

Wait... that was... yesterday?

What's goi--

Where am I...?

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 9d

Titlecard from the television program EISCHIED. In colour, from a multigenerational videorecording which has rendered the image with softness and noise, an image of a metropolitan downtown composed of dozens of buildings of varying dimensions and architectural styles. It's likely Manhattan, though a late-70s era Manhattan which bears little similarity to how this area of the city presently appears.

Was pretty sure I saw the Woolworth Building there, but none of the surrounding buildings are analogous to its neighbours to the best of my knowledge, so I really have no idea. Are we looking... north? Feels like we're looking north? Unless it's *located* farther north and instead looking west from the east river?

Anyway! Lotta buildings. But also... a lot of the sky left unscraped at this point in history. The sky itself is dull and variegated grey, composed of low-lying cloudcover as far as the frame allows.

A faded yellow blockletter text overlay reads "Angels of Terror."

Terror!

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 10d

Titlecard from the television program BEYOND WESTWORLD. Colour image of a Ronee Blakley-shaped tousle-headed brunette woman onstage fronting a rock *and* roll combo. Seen from the waist up in a red t-shirt with a prominent wide vertical stripe of fuchsia, she's gripping a stand-housed microphone with her right hand. Her left arm is raised above her head, bent at the elbow, and, with her eyes closed, she appears to be singing with considerable dreamy abandon.

She stands in front of an unidentifiable shaggy-haired blonde seated at a drum kit, whose (Zildjan?) cymbals are visible on chrome stands to her left and right sides. Behind them both to the image's right, a partially-visible stack of black concert speakers.

The neck and oversized chrome machine heads of a four-string electric bass guitar* rise diagonally into frame from the bottom left corner.

A chain-link fence stretches behind all of this, with what might be a low-rising concrete building in the near distance.

Overlaid in a yellow all-caps sans serif font, vaguely italicised and with a noticeable gap where the leg of the letter 'R' approaches its stem, "Sound of Terror."

*(it might be a Fender Mustang?)

Terror!

In SOUND form!

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 11d

Titlecard from the television program HARRY 0. In nonexistent colour, a close shot of a mostly-closed light grey door, set within an identically coloured frame along a painted white wall. Above its unornamental silver bell knob with centre thumbturn, a black-gloved human hand is gripping the door from outside.

Is it opening the door? Coming in? Gosh, I sure hope not. It's rarely good news when black gloved human hands slowly open the door into a dire looking room with flat painted white walls.

Centred in white block text with a slim black dropshadow, "Group Terror."

Terror!

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 12d

Titlecard from the television program BRONK. Grainy colour image of the interior of a cramped (about 6ft by 10ft) tan-walled police holding cell, bound at its rear wall and on its left side and closest to us by small gauge mesh wire.

Along the cell's left side on a wooden bench sits a cowering longhaired brunette woman in a blue top and pants, head bowed and in her hands. She's being... threatened? Intimidated, certainly! by two other women standing over her. To her left, another longhaired brunette in a longsleeved blue shirt and high-rising white shorts; in front of her and reaching out with her left arm, a darker skinned woman with a red satin top and a knee-high vertical striped rainbow skirt.

All three woman have apparently been allowed to retain their handbags. Both aggressors have theirs still slung over their shoulders, while the woman on the bench seems to have placed her own bag or satchel on the seat's surface beside her on her right.

Overlaid in yellow text, in an all-caps Cooper-adjacent font -- "Terror."

Folks? Welcome to TERROR week.

It's TERROR week.

All TERROR, all the TIME.

#TERROR

Terror!

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 13d

Titlecard from the television program THE A-TEAM. Colour image of the detached oversized rubber head of a dark green reptilian monster costume, featuring a single dead cyclopean eye and a mouth full of needlelike yellowing fangs*. It sits on a stand or pedestal covered by a light coloured fabric. To the left and mostly out of frame stands a human person dressed in the costume proper -- a scaly green textured monster suit with a rubber or neoprene base which visibly stops at the exposed skin of its wearer's wrist. One imagines there are also monster hands. Somewhere.

Overlaid in thick white military-styled stencilled letters with a slim black dropshadow, "Where is The Monster when you need him?"

(*this is the eponymous menace of the motion picture GATORELLA, a picture whose beleaguered star Charles Lake swears will be his last monster movie, after having claimed he was "finished with the slime genre" following his turn in IT CAME FROM NOWHERE.)

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 14d

Titlecard from the television program THE LONE RANGER*. An uncomplicated title treatment in faded colour from a multigenerational videotape recording with a fair amount of noise resulting from its age and digitisation. Against a darker tan or sandy background, the title "Curse of the Devil Dolls" has been drawn in a blocky tight font that suggests its having been carved out, in what once might have been red but is now trending pink, with a thick black outline.

*(the late '60s Format Films animated Saturday morning variant)

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 15d

Titlecard from the television program WEREWOLF*. Colour image -- composed mostly of dark, blue-weighted tones -- of what a appears to be a misty forest at night. The black skeletons of mosly leafless trees stretch vertically through the frame while what might be a wall of fog obscures any deeper focus.

Overlaid in a crimson hand-printed-style font likely meant to suggest its having been scrawled in blood (though more closely approximating a thick-tipped marker), "Il n'y a Rien D'inquietant dans cette Foret**."

*(or "La Malédiction du Loup Garou," as it were.)
** (while I'd personally translate this as "There's nothing disturbing in these woods," (although it's specifically 'this forest') the English language title of the episode in question is "Nothing Evil in These Woods")

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 16d

Titlecard from the television program THE BARBARA STANWYCK SHOW. Black and white image of a 1950's-era bedroom. A nightstand, on whose surface sits an electric lamp with a frilled shade, a round alarm clock and a drinking glass, is beside a wooden framed bed whose headboard is a turned wooden span. It's topped with dark coloured fabric with frilled edging, similarly cased pillows, and with additional light-coloured frilled (satin?) pillows with some indistinct graphic decoration.

Reclining on that bed, small arms outstretched -- a kewpie- or gund-styled children's stuffed doll (a satin ribbon bow in its dark woollen hair), arched eyebrows and leftward-looking saucer eyes on its rubber- or cellulose- or plastic-face, lies dressed in a small striped pyjama top.

(Is *this* the titular Frightened Doll?! Or is it... meeetaphooooricaaaaaal?!?!?!)

Overlaid in white text with a pronounced gradated dropshadow, "Frightened Doll."

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 17d

Titlecard from the television program TALES OF TOMORROW. In muted and softly-focussed black and white, taken from a generational videotape recording of a kinescope. Against a black backdrop, in a slim, tall sans serif outline font with a thickness weighted down and to the right, "Plague from Space."

Is this image itself being transmitted from the same part of the universe that birthed the titular plague? Perhaps!

But I'm guessing [ghost voice] nooooobooodyyyy caaaaaaares.

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 18d

Titlecard from the television program CANNON. In colour, a simple patterned graphic consisting of a background of a darker cerulean or royal blue overlaid with points of black that suggest halftone dots. These increase in size and frequency in an alternating checkerboard-like grid pattern whose thirteen rows progress horizontally left to right across the frame in fourteen distinct columns.

"tonight's episode," we are told -- in a white text overlay with a blockletter font composed of upper- and lowercase letters standardised to cap height -- is called "Girl in the Electric Coffin."

( © copyright mcmlxxi QM productions all rights reserved)

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 19d

Titlecard from the television program HAWAII FIVE-O*. Colour shot taken from outside** of a chainlink fence, looking slightly down through the branches and foliage of several indigenous trees and past *another* fence or fenced-in area of indefinable purpose to a forking road or highway where a distant unremarkable dark coloured sedan approaches. In the distance, the shadows of low rising mountains against a partially cloudy sky.

Overlaid in yellow block letters with noticeable black drop shadow, "The Devil and Mr. Frog."

*(original Leonard Freeman Productions variant, 1960s-'80s)
** (or not -- dun dun DUNNNNN!)

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 20d

Titlecard from the television program THRILLER*. In colour, a fisheyed film-shot vignette at the centre of a circular crimson video overlay. Shows a higher angle from a building in the city of London, looking down from a window or arched opening on a city street with several cars travelling on both sides of its four lane divided roadway. We are adjacent to the Great Clock of Westminster, which in the near distance rises into a grey and cloudy sky above The Palace of Westminster.

Overlaid in video-generated white block letters, "The Next Scream You Hear."

*(UK ITV variant from the 1970s)

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Tonight's Episode: @tonightsepisode.bsky.social · 21d

Titlecard from the television program THE MUNSTERS. In black and white, the image of a large Victorian Gothic mansion behind the gates of a ten or twelve foot high wrought iron fence, a property overgrown with untended vegetation and the skeletons of trees. Smoke rises from a brick chimney. This is 1313 Mockingbird Lane, in Mockingbird Heights. The Munsters live here.

Overlaid in a stylised illustrated font that resembles dripping blood or sick or just plain gloop, "Autumn Crocus."

(Copyright © MCMLXIV by Kayro-Vue Productions. All Rights Reserved.)

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