Torie Wiksell
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toriewiksell.bsky.social
Torie Wiksell
@toriewiksell.bsky.social
47 followers 27 following 98 posts
Therapist. Coach. Host of the podcast, “You’re Not Crazy.” Helping adults with their dysfunctional family relationships. confidentboundaries.com
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Are you "too sensitive" or is that their way of avoiding the real issue?
It’s not your job to be the family peacemaker.
You can’t change your parent, but you can change how you interact with them.
A parent who loves you should want you to thrive, not just comply.
Feeling guilty doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.
I don’t believe parents who are “completely blindsided” when their child goes no-contact
It’s okay to prioritize your healing over their comfort.
You can care about someone without taking on their problems as your own.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but there's a difference between caring about someone and trying to solve all their problems for them.
Things I learned as an adult: it’s okay to say, “that doesn’t work for me.” Emotionally healthy adults tend to accept that and move on.
Acceptance is not approval
You’re not here to fulfill your parent's unmet emotional needs.
There’s nothing wrong with protecting your energy from people who drain it. Even if those people are your parents.
Your boundaries are for you, not for them.
Shifting the focus from "I need to make my parent understand me" to "I'm sad they don't try harder to get to know me" is huge.
Setting boundaries doesn’t make you a bad child. It's how you become a healthy adult.
Guilt isn't necessarily a sign that you've done something wrong.
Is it easy to stop people pleasing? No.

Is it possible? Yes.

Is it worth the effort? IMO absolutely, but that’s up for you to decide for yourself.
In case you need to hear this today…it’s not actually easier to make other people happy at your own expense. If it was, you wouldn’t be feeling so drained and stressed out.
Feeling drained every time you talk to your parent is worth pausing to think about
A parent’s love should never come with strings attached.
You don't owe your parent.
Going no-contact with your parents isn't a trend
You can learn to trust yourself, but you can't learn to trust yourself if you continue to ignore your own needs and emotions.
You're not supposed to have to earn your parent's love and approval.