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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 12h

I know the meds said they would cause drowsiness but Jesus Christ this is....gonna fucking suck. But if it helps me be less angry, anxious and depressed then so be it. Still sucks tho lol.

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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 1d

Doctors: You shouldn't eat anything before you go to sleep, it's bad for x, y and z reasons!

Also Doctors: Here's this pill to help you sleep! But make sure you take it with food :)

Gee. Thanks. Not contradictory at all 😂

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Reposted by ☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶

LAZY! 🐉💌🌈 @whimsicaldragon.bsky.social · 1d

Outta this world Jolteon!

#pokemon #oc #furry #jolteon

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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 1d

To top it off a fucking oublic safety cop actually came by and asked if I was okay while mom and.....her husband needs an alias... Austin, were still in the store. It was so humiliating 😭😭😭

☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 1d

Me, telling my mom multiple times no, I don't want to fucking go to the river market right now. I want to just go home, take my pills, and TRY to work before rush hour. Her husband takes us anyway. And now I'm bawling, in public on the bench. Cool cool cool.

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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 1d

Fizz!

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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 1d

We were down here this time last year during my first fucking break up with her. And all this has done is open old wounds and pour salt into the new ones. Jfc why can't she ever just take no for a fucking answer? I don't want to be here right now.

☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 1d

Me, telling my mom multiple times no, I don't want to fucking go to the river market right now. I want to just go home, take my pills, and TRY to work before rush hour. Her husband takes us anyway. And now I'm bawling, in public on the bench. Cool cool cool.

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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 1d

Would anybody take anyone(s) here for $15? toyhou.se/ToxykMelodi/... With everything going on I haven't been able to work as much and now the cars pretty low on gas and I've got nothing after getting meds. PayPal only rn, I've lost my cashapp card. Not having a good week. 🫠
Reposts appreciated 🙏🏻

ToxykMelodi on Toyhou.se

Check out ToxykMelodi's characters on Toyhouse!

toyhou.se

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Reposted by ☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶

Whimsy @wishingwhimsy.bsky.social · 3d

Finished mixed media piece!
#furry #art #furryart #spider #kidcore

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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 2d

At this point I've given up on moving them I don't care anymore I JUST want to start my meds as soon as I can 😭

☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 2d

Because driving around downtown or even others driving me, doesn't matter. Just. Spikes all of the anxiety 🫠🫠 So I tried to get them to transfer the prescriptions, called about 6 times to places back and forth and no one wants to transfer even tho I was told by several people they could do that-

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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 2d

Y'know monday everything went so smoothly. Yesterday and today? Not so much 🫠 I'm mostly just upset because on my bloody paper it has the specific location I SHOULD have had my pills sent to. But someone fucked up and did it for downtown which I wanted to avoid-

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Reposted by ☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶

🌈PastelPlushi🌈 @pastelplushi.bsky.social · 3d

(vent art from a few days ago)

Growth and healing as a system is really hard. Handling trauma when your main fronters are children is especially difficult

#cptsd #kidfur

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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 3d

Oh this hit too close to home and now I'm bawling. But that does mean it causes the audience to feel for sure. So thanks even tho it hurts 🥹

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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 3d

I don't know what it is about this time of year but I fucking hate it tbh

☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 3d

I can never catch a break because LAST year around this time there was a break up with her, and then my dad who I never met tried to reach out, and I was like "I'll make him wait a few days he waited til now" and then he fckn 💀⚰️

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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 3d

On top of the relationship thing. My grandparents decided to spring upon mom last minute that he wants to move out by the end of the month. Possibly in here. I don't know if I can handle all this 😭 My stepdads Conald Dump loving ass is bad enough I don't wanna hear it every day from my grandparents.

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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 3d

Oh my God the wait is long as hecc compared to everything yesterday 🫠 more time to be anxious and have all the brain thoughts that hurt yaayyy. At least they're playing relaxing instrumental music and now music with lyrics cuz too many songs been fucking me UP.

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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 3d

Going to the walk in clinic today to hopefully get like. A diagnosis and pills in the same day, as told to me by one of the other clinic peeps I talked to yesterday. The sooner the better, wish me luck 💪🏻

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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 4d

So I'm feeling a bit better at least

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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 4d

Had 2 appointments today one was a screening and one was to help me get Medicaid which went through way quicker than I would have thought. I have to go somewhere later in the week for another eval and hopefully getting meds to help me get stabilized.

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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 4d

She has been texting somewhat regularly today. Which is doing wonders for the racing of my heart the past few days 🥹 and means I've eaten a bit better than I was.

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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 4d

I wanna saw thank you to those who've been commenting encouraging and kind things while I've been posting my insanity here ❤️ you guys are pawesome and I'm sorry I don't reply but as y'all can imagine I don't have a lot of spoons to spare atm 😅

More updates below

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☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 4d

She finally messaged me back today. And while it wasn't the best news, I also don't believe it was the worst. I at least still feel like I'm not going insane anymore with no contact.

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Reposted by ☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶

☣️Toxyk Melodi🎶 @toxykmelodi.bsky.social · 6d

As much as it pains me to say it I'm going to cancel the Halloween raffle I was going to host. After this possibly permanent break up? I'm just. Mentally and physically I'm doing absolutely awful. I'm so sorry but I'll try to make it up to everyone after I get help and start feeling better 😭

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