TragicMonkey
@tragicmonkey.bsky.social
Had a dream I went back to college and the dorm room was amazingly nice, way better than anywhere I've ever lived. The bathroom was teal, dark blue, and pink tile which sounds awful but it worked. In a dream, anyway.
I was fighting giant ants and my old roommate in it when I woke up.
I was fighting giant ants and my old roommate in it when I woke up.
February 14, 2026 at 4:39 PM
Had a dream I went back to college and the dorm room was amazingly nice, way better than anywhere I've ever lived. The bathroom was teal, dark blue, and pink tile which sounds awful but it worked. In a dream, anyway.
I was fighting giant ants and my old roommate in it when I woke up.
I was fighting giant ants and my old roommate in it when I woke up.
I love all these online videos "She Ate Too Much Of This Snack And It Destroyed Her Kidneys!!!" and you watch it to find out she was eating three pounds of cashews a week and the only thing you can think of is how the heck could anyone afford three pounds of cashews a week?
February 14, 2026 at 4:35 PM
I love all these online videos "She Ate Too Much Of This Snack And It Destroyed Her Kidneys!!!" and you watch it to find out she was eating three pounds of cashews a week and the only thing you can think of is how the heck could anyone afford three pounds of cashews a week?
I guess enough time has passed I can now openly admit I like Richard Marx. Although possibly, sitting here in a stupidly cold winter, I may just be nostalgic for endless summer nights. Birds are falling frozen out of the sky. I'm ready for spring.
February 13, 2026 at 3:40 AM
I guess enough time has passed I can now openly admit I like Richard Marx. Although possibly, sitting here in a stupidly cold winter, I may just be nostalgic for endless summer nights. Birds are falling frozen out of the sky. I'm ready for spring.
Scarlet Hollow Chapter 5 comes out on Friday! I'm going to stay in all weekend eating discount Valentines chocolates and exploring the Hollow. Important questions may be answered at last: will Reese kill again? What's in the forbidden wing of the house? Where's that giant pumpkin? The big questions!
February 11, 2026 at 10:26 PM
Scarlet Hollow Chapter 5 comes out on Friday! I'm going to stay in all weekend eating discount Valentines chocolates and exploring the Hollow. Important questions may be answered at last: will Reese kill again? What's in the forbidden wing of the house? Where's that giant pumpkin? The big questions!
I woke up with the phrase "feathered fish, what a dish!" running through my head. No idea what I was dreaming about. But I will find a real life use for that phrase if it kills me.
February 11, 2026 at 10:17 PM
I woke up with the phrase "feathered fish, what a dish!" running through my head. No idea what I was dreaming about. But I will find a real life use for that phrase if it kills me.
Watched "The Rings of Power" and found myself trying to write a rap for Sauron. "One Ring", "bling bling", and "Miss Thing" all rhyme so I'm certain there's something there. I have a very important work meeting so I'll have plenty of time to think it over.
February 10, 2026 at 5:32 PM
Watched "The Rings of Power" and found myself trying to write a rap for Sauron. "One Ring", "bling bling", and "Miss Thing" all rhyme so I'm certain there's something there. I have a very important work meeting so I'll have plenty of time to think it over.
Love those meetings that could have been emails. If you're just going to read your lovely Powerpoint to us you could have sent it as an attachment instead and saved time, money, and fossil fuels.
February 9, 2026 at 9:25 PM
Love those meetings that could have been emails. If you're just going to read your lovely Powerpoint to us you could have sent it as an attachment instead and saved time, money, and fossil fuels.
Quote in a news article about a break-in: "they reached in and put that lock on unlock". Roundabout way of saying "unlocked", but syntactically and semiotically interesting. Instead of locking and unlocking being actions taken by actors, locks as objects with states of being locked or unlocked.
February 7, 2026 at 1:51 PM
Quote in a news article about a break-in: "they reached in and put that lock on unlock". Roundabout way of saying "unlocked", but syntactically and semiotically interesting. Instead of locking and unlocking being actions taken by actors, locks as objects with states of being locked or unlocked.
Let's see, the shopping mall is dying out. Bleeding business, losing stores, what does one local mall do to try to fix it? That's right: they're charging for parking. That'll draw back the crowds!
February 5, 2026 at 1:52 PM
Let's see, the shopping mall is dying out. Bleeding business, losing stores, what does one local mall do to try to fix it? That's right: they're charging for parking. That'll draw back the crowds!
"I'm sorry to hear that" doesn't necessarily mean "I'm sorry that happened", it can mean "I'm sorry you're telling me this".
February 4, 2026 at 2:01 PM
"I'm sorry to hear that" doesn't necessarily mean "I'm sorry that happened", it can mean "I'm sorry you're telling me this".
Work just hired a consultant whose only duty appears to be forwarding emails from me to another guy, and then that guy's emails to me. I wouldn't be irritated just by that because lots of jobs are just nonsense busywork, but I have the sense he's being paid a lot more than I am.
February 2, 2026 at 11:43 PM
Work just hired a consultant whose only duty appears to be forwarding emails from me to another guy, and then that guy's emails to me. I wouldn't be irritated just by that because lots of jobs are just nonsense busywork, but I have the sense he's being paid a lot more than I am.
This medical video about how a woman drank too much orange juice and destroyed her internal organs is really, really making me want a glass of orange juice. It just looks soooo good in the dramatization!
February 1, 2026 at 9:34 PM
This medical video about how a woman drank too much orange juice and destroyed her internal organs is really, really making me want a glass of orange juice. It just looks soooo good in the dramatization!
"To reduce heartburn, avoid trigger foods such as tomato, citrus, spicy food, and chocolate."
My dinner: spicy chicken, tomato soup, an orange. Dessert: hot chocolate.
My dinner: spicy chicken, tomato soup, an orange. Dessert: hot chocolate.
January 29, 2026 at 2:59 AM
"To reduce heartburn, avoid trigger foods such as tomato, citrus, spicy food, and chocolate."
My dinner: spicy chicken, tomato soup, an orange. Dessert: hot chocolate.
My dinner: spicy chicken, tomato soup, an orange. Dessert: hot chocolate.
Telemarketer/scammer just got mad at me because I didn't speak English. Look, you call me up to try to scam me I'm going to jabber at you in a made-up language.
January 27, 2026 at 11:47 PM
Telemarketer/scammer just got mad at me because I didn't speak English. Look, you call me up to try to scam me I'm going to jabber at you in a made-up language.
Watching a documentary on how my city has fallen into ruin and getting all indignant about that misrepresentation and then they showed footage of the collapsing half-house on my street.
January 27, 2026 at 8:08 PM
Watching a documentary on how my city has fallen into ruin and getting all indignant about that misrepresentation and then they showed footage of the collapsing half-house on my street.
Every month my department head reveals new "improvements" in policy that make everything a little bit worse. Can't bosses look at something and say "it's working fine, let's leave it alone?"
January 26, 2026 at 5:36 PM
Every month my department head reveals new "improvements" in policy that make everything a little bit worse. Can't bosses look at something and say "it's working fine, let's leave it alone?"
My mother just texted me the advice to "wear layers of clothes to stay warm" in the current snowstorm. I'm middle aged but they can't switch it off.
January 24, 2026 at 6:08 PM
My mother just texted me the advice to "wear layers of clothes to stay warm" in the current snowstorm. I'm middle aged but they can't switch it off.
Just went to the store to stock up on supplies before the snowpocalypse. While everyone else was buying bread and milk this one guy was buying a sled. Way to live, dude!
January 22, 2026 at 4:20 PM
Just went to the store to stock up on supplies before the snowpocalypse. While everyone else was buying bread and milk this one guy was buying a sled. Way to live, dude!
I know every generation thinks the world is getting worse as they age but I really, really think it may be true for us.
January 19, 2026 at 6:47 PM
I know every generation thinks the world is getting worse as they age but I really, really think it may be true for us.
Amazon Prime: spends a bajillion dollars per episode to make the fanciest special-effectsiest amazingest TV series ever conceived, with an advertising budget larger than nations.
Me: watches ancient "Night Court" episodes instead.
Me: watches ancient "Night Court" episodes instead.
January 18, 2026 at 10:18 PM
Amazon Prime: spends a bajillion dollars per episode to make the fanciest special-effectsiest amazingest TV series ever conceived, with an advertising budget larger than nations.
Me: watches ancient "Night Court" episodes instead.
Me: watches ancient "Night Court" episodes instead.
Love it when TV actors flub their lines to create gold. "It says here the victim was stabbed to death with some kind of blunt instrument". Did it really say that? Because it's gruesome but kind of funny.
January 17, 2026 at 7:05 PM
Love it when TV actors flub their lines to create gold. "It says here the victim was stabbed to death with some kind of blunt instrument". Did it really say that? Because it's gruesome but kind of funny.
Helpful hint for those trying to sell real estate: if you're going to say "safe neighborhood" in your listing, remove the makeshift bars from the doors in the photos. Three 2x4s in brackets across the back door have the paradoxical effect of making safety look very unsafe.
January 15, 2026 at 3:42 AM
Helpful hint for those trying to sell real estate: if you're going to say "safe neighborhood" in your listing, remove the makeshift bars from the doors in the photos. Three 2x4s in brackets across the back door have the paradoxical effect of making safety look very unsafe.
New business etiquette rule: if you mention, during a video conference call, that your pet is in the room you should put them on camera. Dude this morning said there were two dogs in the room with him, and didn't put them on camera. I'm a professional person, I want to see dogs. For business!
January 13, 2026 at 2:15 PM
New business etiquette rule: if you mention, during a video conference call, that your pet is in the room you should put them on camera. Dude this morning said there were two dogs in the room with him, and didn't put them on camera. I'm a professional person, I want to see dogs. For business!
Looking at real estate photos, there are some mad houses out there. Wall-to-wall carpet in the kitchen. What.
January 11, 2026 at 11:29 PM
Looking at real estate photos, there are some mad houses out there. Wall-to-wall carpet in the kitchen. What.
Dreamt that my mom acquired eight cats and one of them could talk but wouldn't and she wanted me to figure out which one it was. I was trying to trick them with a game of Marco Polo when I woke up.
January 11, 2026 at 2:36 PM
Dreamt that my mom acquired eight cats and one of them could talk but wouldn't and she wanted me to figure out which one it was. I was trying to trick them with a game of Marco Polo when I woke up.