You know things are kinda bad when getting insurance to pay for a mammogram is the huge win you needed this week. Also... Am I so old, why was mammo waiting room music what I heard in highschool? #gettingold#womanproblems#funny#moms
While you spend hours reading job qualification requirements and deciding if you're qualified, remember, there is probably a mediocre white man with a business degree applying for a job as a rocket scientist because bros totally got this. #funny#men#confidence
I've never seen a more defeated face than the face of the poor boy at the grocery store at the beginning of thanksgiving season tasked with handing out samples of... Salad. #forthewin#sorrybuddy#funny#choicesweremade#groce
Overheard on a university campus: Girl 1: ooo! Anthropology! I love that store! Girl 2: no, I think that's something you study. 1: ohhh, what is it? 2: I think it's like something to do with stars. 🤦 #kidsthesedays#funny#anthropology#wrong
Today my child, 5, saw a picture of Scooby Doo and proceeded to refer to him as "Snoop Dog" for the rest of the day. I did not correct her. @SnoopDogg #kids#funnykids#mom#singlemomlife
No officer, I haven't been drinking, just handing snacks, toys, baby wipes, and bandaids back to my child every 30 seconds, actually... I wouldn't mind stepping out of the vehicle. #parenting#funny#comedy#momlife#singlemoms
I have reached peak parenting... Realized there was no tp in the bathroom and my child, 5, was tall enough to get some out and bring it to me. Achievement unlocked! #parenting#funny#momlife#singleparent
Why, when I Google any health issue, the answer is manage stress and anxiety? 😭 It can't just be like eat a carrot, it's always solve your most core life issues... Perfect, will do! #anxiety#HealthyHabits#funny
There are doors regularly flying off airplanes, but I know! Let's limit the agencies that actually have a tiny amount of power to protect us. RIP #chevrondoctrine . Screaming as we decend even further into our post decaying capitalist hellscape... #news
My dad has dementia and is totally unaware of current events, the other day he comes to me, very concerned "the weather is so weird, it seems different, it's almost like... Like the climate is... changing." My dad invented climate change. 😂 #climatechange#dementia#funny
I have a guilty pleasure of getting on my daughter's toca world after she goes to bed and reorganizing her houses... Instead of, you know, actually cleaning our real house. #Moms#momlife#parenting#funny
My 5 year old is currently melting down because I didn't take her to the Eiffel tower with me... 17 years before she was born. #parenting#kids#funny#singlemom
"Mama, why is there so much candy on my Easter basket?" "I don't know, that seems like what goes in an Easter basket" "Oh ya, because that's what Easter is all about, candy!" I is best parent 😂 #kids#parenting#funny
When my boyfriend and I have a political disagreement we've decided that @iamjohnoliver is the paragon of correctness... Arguments solved 😂 #politics#relationshipgoals#advic
Omg update. She finally understood the irony, but instead of me getting privacy she decided "I don't really need privacy, I need you with me AT ALL TIMES!"
My 4yo in the bathroom: "mama, I need my privacy!" Also my 4yo in the bathroom: "mama are you done yet, mama, I want you, mama!" I tried to reason with her, but as it turns out it does NOT go both ways for... Reasons. #parenting#funny#kids
