The Unger Review
@ungerreview.bsky.social
Satire by Andrew Unger.
Home of The Daily Bonnet.
ungerreview.com
Home of The Daily Bonnet.
ungerreview.com
Trump Wins Inaugural Nobel Prize for Soccer www.ungerreview.com/trump-wins-i...
Trump Wins Inaugural Nobel Prize for Soccer
STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN Not to be outdone by FIFA, the Nobel committee has just come up with a new soccer award, specifically designed for the world’s top demagogues and/or soccer players. The first recipie...
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December 6, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Trump Wins Inaugural Nobel Prize for Soccer www.ungerreview.com/trump-wins-i...
Canadian Shoppers Concerned as Fargo Reinstates Wood Chipper Executions www.ungerreview.com/canadian-sho...
Canadian Shoppers Concerned as Fargo Reinstates Wood Chipper Executions
FARGO, ND North Dakota’s attempt to lure crossborder Christmas shoppers has met with a hiccup this week after the local Chamber of Commerce announced they’d be bringing back the wood chipper. “Yeah, I...
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December 5, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Canadian Shoppers Concerned as Fargo Reinstates Wood Chipper Executions www.ungerreview.com/canadian-sho...
Mrs. Friesen Rushes Inside to Avoid Freezing Her Buns www.ungerreview.com/mrs-friesen-...
Mrs. Friesen Rushes Inside to Avoid Freezing Her Buns
GRETNA, MB Mrs. Helena Friesen had a leftover plate of raisin buns from the funeral this afternoon, which required her to hightail it to her Honda CRV lest she freeze her buns off. “Jauma, it’s [...]
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December 4, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Mrs. Friesen Rushes Inside to Avoid Freezing Her Buns www.ungerreview.com/mrs-friesen-...
Thanks to my cousins for modelling some of the new Daily Bonnet merch! See link in comments for the merch store featuring a wide range of products with the Unger Review or Daily Bonnet logo. 🎄🎅🧑🎄
December 4, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Thanks to my cousins for modelling some of the new Daily Bonnet merch! See link in comments for the merch store featuring a wide range of products with the Unger Review or Daily Bonnet logo. 🎄🎅🧑🎄
Mennonite Woman Finally Takes Down Last Year’s Christmas Cards Just as This Year’s Start to Arrive
Mennonite Woman Finally Takes Down Last Year’s Christmas Cards Just as This Year’s Start to Arrive
MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Mrs. Erin Janzen of Mountain Lake has finally begun to take down last year’s Christmas cards just as soon as the first batch of new ones have arrived. “It’s a painful decision, [...]
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December 3, 2025 at 5:25 AM
Mennonite Woman Finally Takes Down Last Year’s Christmas Cards Just as This Year’s Start to Arrive
Lack of Snow Deludes Winnipeg Man Into Thinking He Doesn’t Need a Parka www.ungerreview.com/lack-of-snow...
Lack of Snow Deludes Winnipeg Man Into Thinking He Doesn’t Need a Parka
WINNIPEG, MB It’s the end of November, so you know what that means – parka season. Well not so for area man Collin Rogalsky. “I’m waiting for it to snow,” said Rogalsky. “I can’t feel [...]
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November 27, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Lack of Snow Deludes Winnipeg Man Into Thinking He Doesn’t Need a Parka www.ungerreview.com/lack-of-snow...
Local Dad Gets Full Time Job Carting His Kids Around to Sports www.ungerreview.com/local-dad-ge...
Local Dad Gets Full Time Job Carting His Kids Around to Sports
ST. EINBACH, SK Area man David Giesbrecht, 42, has just quit his job at the local window factory so he can dedicate himself to carting his kids around to various sports. “Looks like I’m a [...]
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November 26, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Local Dad Gets Full Time Job Carting His Kids Around to Sports www.ungerreview.com/local-dad-ge...
Manitoba Man Survives Encounter with Out-of-Province Farmer Sausage www.ungerreview.com/manitoba-man...
Manitoba Man Survives Encounter with Out-of-Province Farmer Sausage
YARROW, BC Timmy Wiebe of Reinland, Manitoba ventured out to Abbotsford this week and quickly became the first Manitoban ever to dare to try BC farmer sausage. “BC farmer sausage? It doesn’t give such...
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November 23, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Manitoba Man Survives Encounter with Out-of-Province Farmer Sausage www.ungerreview.com/manitoba-man...
Check out our new merch store, just in time for Christmas.
November 22, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Check out our new merch store, just in time for Christmas.
Mennonite Woman Concerned She Might Be Anglican www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-wo...
Mennonite Woman Concerned She Might Be Anglican
WINNIPEG, MB A young Mennonite woman from Winnipeg has been wondering lately whether it just might be that she’s actually an Anglican. Katie Enns, 23, started having Anglican thoughts a few years ago ...
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November 22, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Mennonite Woman Concerned She Might Be Anglican www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-wo...
Dating Couple to Spend Romantic Evening Basking in the Aroma of the Maple Leaf Plant www.ungerreview.com/dating-coupl...
Dating Couple to Spend Romantic Evening Basking in the Aroma of the Maple Leaf Plant
WINNIPEG, MB Dating couple Amanda and Kevin of Landmark drove into the city this weekend to sit in their car with the windows rolled down on Lagimodiere. “I knew this was a great first date [...]
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November 19, 2025 at 1:27 AM
Dating Couple to Spend Romantic Evening Basking in the Aroma of the Maple Leaf Plant www.ungerreview.com/dating-coupl...
Mennonite Families Sign-Up to Bring Salads, Buns, and Measles to Upcoming Potluck www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-fa...
Mennonite Families Sign-Up to Bring Salads, Buns, and Measles to Upcoming Potluck
SCHRATJLIJCH, MB The Schratjlijch Gospel Church is inviting everyone to stay after church this Sunday for a delicious potluck, including raisin buns, mashed potatoes, and a delectable array of Jell-o ...
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November 19, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Mennonite Families Sign-Up to Bring Salads, Buns, and Measles to Upcoming Potluck www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-fa...
Winnipeg Man to Host Grey Cup Party and Cheer for Nobody www.ungerreview.com/winnipeg-man...
Winnipeg Man to Host Grey Cup Party and Cheer for Nobody
WINNIPEG, MB Area man Myles Fehr, 71, is begrudgingly hosting a Grey Cup party this afternoon and has forbidden any of his guests from cheering for anyone. “I hope they both lose,” said Fehr. “If [......
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November 16, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Winnipeg Man to Host Grey Cup Party and Cheer for Nobody www.ungerreview.com/winnipeg-man...
U.S.A. to Stop Making Sense www.ungerreview.com/u-s-a-to-sto...
U.S.A. to Stop Making Sense
WASHINGTON, DC The White House announced today, what the rest of the world had noticed for a long time, that they would officially stop making sense effective immediately. “I’ve instructed the US Mint...
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November 15, 2025 at 9:38 PM
U.S.A. to Stop Making Sense www.ungerreview.com/u-s-a-to-sto...
Mennonite Pastor Scolds Sky for Wearing Too Much Makeup www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-pa...
Mennonite Pastor Scolds Sky for Wearing Too Much Makeup
SWIFT CURRENT, SK Area pastor Ron Hildebrandt is preparing a scathing sermon for this Sunday after he witnessed an extremely immodest display of makeup on the night sky this week. “Jauma, it looks lik...
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November 14, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Mennonite Pastor Scolds Sky for Wearing Too Much Makeup www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-pa...
Area Man Really Hoping to Die Before He’s Finished Paying Off That 50-Year Mortgage www.ungerreview.com/area-man-hop...
Area Man Really Hoping to Die Before He’s Finished Paying Off That 50-Year Mortgage
WASHINGTON, DC Area man Brad Wiebe, 31, has amazing plan to finally be rid of his 50-year mortgage – wait to die. “Yeah so let’s say Katie and I take a mortgage today,” explained Wiebe. [...]
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November 12, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Area Man Really Hoping to Die Before He’s Finished Paying Off That 50-Year Mortgage www.ungerreview.com/area-man-hop...
Mennonite Man “Crosses the Floor” to Join the Lutherans www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-ma...
Mennonite Man “Crosses the Floor” to Join the Lutherans
OTTAWA, ON Although it’s controversial in some circles, it’s been part of the Anabaptist system, and the Protestant system more generally, for centuries – crossing the floor. Whenever a church member...
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November 7, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Mennonite Man “Crosses the Floor” to Join the Lutherans www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-ma...
Mennonite Teens Keep Yelling “606” in Sunday School www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-te...
Mennonite Teens Keep Yelling “606” in Sunday School
WATERLOO, ON It’s perhaps thr most annoying trend to hit Sunday school this year, as Mennonite middle schoolers keep yelling “SIX-oh-six” at every opportunity. “There I am trying to tell them about th...
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November 6, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Mennonite Teens Keep Yelling “606” in Sunday School www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-te...
White House Reassures Mennonites New Ballroom Won’t Be Used for Dancing www.ungerreview.com/white-house-...
White House Reassures Mennonites New Ballroom Won't Be Used for Dancing
WASHINGTON, DC Desperate the quell a rising tide of angry Mennonite voters, the White House clarified this afternoon that the new ballroom would not be used for dancing. “Only faspas and quilt auction...
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November 4, 2025 at 1:13 AM
White House Reassures Mennonites New Ballroom Won’t Be Used for Dancing www.ungerreview.com/white-house-...
Lodged Perogy Costs Blue Jays World Series www.ungerreview.com/lodged-perog...
Lodged Perogy Costs Blue Jays World Series
TORONTO, ON The L.A. Dodgers are thanking a Mennonite baseball fan this week for dropping his delicious cottage cheese perogy into the outfield, which cost the Toronto Blue Jays a potential series-win...
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November 2, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Lodged Perogy Costs Blue Jays World Series www.ungerreview.com/lodged-perog...
Mennonites Refuse to Watch ‘Worldly Series’ www.ungerreview.com/mennonites-r...
Mennonites Refuse to Watch 'Worldly Series'
ST. JACOBS, ON Thousands of Mennonites in southern Ontario have refused to join in on the festivities this evening after local pastors preached vehemently against the ‘Worldly Series’s this past Sunda...
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November 2, 2025 at 2:19 AM
Mennonites Refuse to Watch ‘Worldly Series’ www.ungerreview.com/mennonites-r...
Man Who Can’t Name a Single Player Really Rooting for the Blue Jays Tonight www.ungerreview.com/man-who-cant...
Man Who Can’t Name a Single Player Really Rooting for the Blue Jays Tonight
TORONTO, ON Area man Larry Enns, 51, normally swears off sports completely, but for some reason is really into the Blue Jays this evening. “I’ll be on the edge of my seat,” said Enns. “Rance [...]
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October 31, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Man Who Can’t Name a Single Player Really Rooting for the Blue Jays Tonight www.ungerreview.com/man-who-cant...
Danielle Smith Adds Canadian Constitution to Alberta’s Banned Books List www.ungerreview.com/danielle-smi...
Danielle Smith Adds Canadian Constitution to Alberta’s Banned Books List
EDMONTON, AB Alberta Premier Danielle Smith held a massive bonfire outside the provincial legislative building this week to destroy any remaining copies of the Constitution of Canada. “Had my goons fi...
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October 29, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Danielle Smith Adds Canadian Constitution to Alberta’s Banned Books List www.ungerreview.com/danielle-smi...