Venom the Original
@venomog.bsky.social
Husband, father, biz owner/consultant, and ex-local politician.
Humor to remove the sting. Known as "Stand United" on Twit. Musk bought it, 'nuff said. ALWAYS for democracy and non-filtered. Sugar belongs on candy, not dialectical discussion
#Bluecrew
Humor to remove the sting. Known as "Stand United" on Twit. Musk bought it, 'nuff said. ALWAYS for democracy and non-filtered. Sugar belongs on candy, not dialectical discussion
#Bluecrew
Pinned
Venom the Original
@venomog.bsky.social
· Jan 12
For those who are curious, Yes, the picture of a dining room in my profile is my real dining room. I remodeled it and my wife made the decorations. I haven't found anything better than showing my picture at home.
I went to a McDonalds drive thru yesterday. When asked what would I like to order, I replied "Surprise me, I never get what I ask for anyway" 🫤
August 14, 2025 at 6:31 AM
I went to a McDonalds drive thru yesterday. When asked what would I like to order, I replied "Surprise me, I never get what I ask for anyway" 🫤
I asked my wife if the same person who discovered and named bedbugs is the same person who discovered and named cockroaches. She replied "you need help". 🙄
August 13, 2025 at 12:40 PM
I asked my wife if the same person who discovered and named bedbugs is the same person who discovered and named cockroaches. She replied "you need help". 🙄
One of the reasons I married my wife was for her looks.... but definitely not the ones she's been giving me lately. 🫤
August 13, 2025 at 12:09 PM
One of the reasons I married my wife was for her looks.... but definitely not the ones she's been giving me lately. 🫤
If my memory gets any worse, I could plan my own surprise party. 😒
August 13, 2025 at 12:05 PM
If my memory gets any worse, I could plan my own surprise party. 😒
Funeral etiquette #21:
Do not take the bouquet of flowers off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next. 🫤
Do not take the bouquet of flowers off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next. 🫤
August 12, 2025 at 5:30 AM
Funeral etiquette #21:
Do not take the bouquet of flowers off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next. 🫤
Do not take the bouquet of flowers off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next. 🫤
I can't believe it. I came home from work to find my kids have been on eBay ALL day. If they are still on it tomorrow, I have to lower the price. 🙄
August 12, 2025 at 5:26 AM
I can't believe it. I came home from work to find my kids have been on eBay ALL day. If they are still on it tomorrow, I have to lower the price. 🙄
I'm not trying to brag or anything but everyday my credit card company calls to tell me I have an OUTSTANDING balance. It was easy to achieve. 👍
August 11, 2025 at 11:13 AM
I'm not trying to brag or anything but everyday my credit card company calls to tell me I have an OUTSTANDING balance. It was easy to achieve. 👍
My family is like a new software update, every time I see them I say "Not now." 😏
July 4, 2025 at 5:44 PM
My family is like a new software update, every time I see them I say "Not now." 😏
The other day, I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you."... everyone's a comedian... 🫤
July 3, 2025 at 1:23 PM
The other day, I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you."... everyone's a comedian... 🫤
My kids treat me like a God. They ignore me until they need something. ☹️
July 3, 2025 at 1:14 PM
My kids treat me like a God. They ignore me until they need something. ☹️
The other day in a bar, I was drinking a rum and coke when the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed—well, everyone except one person. 🫤
July 3, 2025 at 12:24 PM
The other day in a bar, I was drinking a rum and coke when the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed—well, everyone except one person. 🫤
Did you know? You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving a second time. 🤔
July 3, 2025 at 12:20 PM
Did you know? You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving a second time. 🤔
I asaked my wife the other day..."will you still love me when I'm old, fat, and bald?" she replied... "of course I do" ☹️
July 2, 2025 at 12:00 PM
I asaked my wife the other day..."will you still love me when I'm old, fat, and bald?" she replied... "of course I do" ☹️
I asked chatgpt... "why was I single for so long?" and it activated the front camera on my phone. WTF? 🫤
July 2, 2025 at 11:57 AM
I asked chatgpt... "why was I single for so long?" and it activated the front camera on my phone. WTF? 🫤
I guess that's one way to not have a planned family... 😏
June 26, 2025 at 2:33 AM
I guess that's one way to not have a planned family... 😏
My witty co-worker thought he would poke fun at me and asked, "If I had sex with your wife, would that make us related?", I replied, "Nah, that would just make us even." 🙂
June 12, 2025 at 11:58 AM
My witty co-worker thought he would poke fun at me and asked, "If I had sex with your wife, would that make us related?", I replied, "Nah, that would just make us even." 🙂
Yesterday, I took my wife to a nice resturant and held the door open for a lady. My wife said, "You've never held the door open for me!!" ....."Really? What about the time you threatened to leave me?"... I said... on the inside. On the outside I said "I'm sorry honey, I will be a better husband." 🫤
June 12, 2025 at 11:52 AM
Yesterday, I took my wife to a nice resturant and held the door open for a lady. My wife said, "You've never held the door open for me!!" ....."Really? What about the time you threatened to leave me?"... I said... on the inside. On the outside I said "I'm sorry honey, I will be a better husband." 🫤
While at a bar, a lady sitting on the stool next to me slid a bowl of peanuts to me. After eating some, I asked if she wanted any. She said, "Oh no, honey. they hurt my teeth. I just like the chocolate that surrounds them." 🤢
June 10, 2025 at 12:42 PM
While at a bar, a lady sitting on the stool next to me slid a bowl of peanuts to me. After eating some, I asked if she wanted any. She said, "Oh no, honey. they hurt my teeth. I just like the chocolate that surrounds them." 🤢
Domestic Survival Tip #39: Fellas, if your wife calls to tell you the dishwasher is leaking... DO NOT go home and hand her a box of tampons. (A tested and proven fact!!!) 🤕
June 10, 2025 at 12:35 PM
Domestic Survival Tip #39: Fellas, if your wife calls to tell you the dishwasher is leaking... DO NOT go home and hand her a box of tampons. (A tested and proven fact!!!) 🤕
Pffft... my wife said I was a cheapskate. Just to show her... I took her out and she got to choose from a buffet of juice, cookies, crackers, fruit, juice, and pretzels. It was also entertaining to watch as she has never given blood before. 👍
June 10, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Pffft... my wife said I was a cheapskate. Just to show her... I took her out and she got to choose from a buffet of juice, cookies, crackers, fruit, juice, and pretzels. It was also entertaining to watch as she has never given blood before. 👍
Reposted by Venom the Original
@tammyjo408.bsky.social Thank you for all that you do to bring our community together! 👊🐾💙 #StrongerTogether
go.bsky.app/Ch73P5L
go.bsky.app/Ch73P5L
June 8, 2025 at 9:25 PM
@tammyjo408.bsky.social Thank you for all that you do to bring our community together! 👊🐾💙 #StrongerTogether
go.bsky.app/Ch73P5L
go.bsky.app/Ch73P5L
Reposted by Venom the Original
I have just released two new packs of blue fighters. The current events in LA push us to organize and face the challenges brought to us by autocrats. United we stand with conviction and strength, our movement is strong and unstoppable. Please follow/share.
go.bsky.app/LiPW9QW
go.bsky.app/RY78GN4
go.bsky.app/LiPW9QW
go.bsky.app/RY78GN4
June 8, 2025 at 8:14 PM
I have just released two new packs of blue fighters. The current events in LA push us to organize and face the challenges brought to us by autocrats. United we stand with conviction and strength, our movement is strong and unstoppable. Please follow/share.
go.bsky.app/LiPW9QW
go.bsky.app/RY78GN4
go.bsky.app/LiPW9QW
go.bsky.app/RY78GN4
I took my kids to the zoo last week. I'm going back sometime this week to see how well they settled in. 🫤
June 9, 2025 at 11:09 AM
I took my kids to the zoo last week. I'm going back sometime this week to see how well they settled in. 🫤
Domestic survival tip #34: Fellas, if your wife ever tells you to go to the drug store to purchase something that will help with your erection.... DO NOT return with diet pills for her. 🤕
June 9, 2025 at 6:29 AM
Domestic survival tip #34: Fellas, if your wife ever tells you to go to the drug store to purchase something that will help with your erection.... DO NOT return with diet pills for her. 🤕
I passed the craziest protest yesterday. A group of people were on a street corner with paper signs saying "Save the trees". ... ummm paper signs... 🤔
June 9, 2025 at 6:24 AM
I passed the craziest protest yesterday. A group of people were on a street corner with paper signs saying "Save the trees". ... ummm paper signs... 🤔