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vizcomic.bsky.social
Viz Comic
@vizcomic.bsky.social
29K followers 470 following 520 posts
Our readers have understood the concept of Buyer's Remorse since 1979.

Buy the Profanisaurus or Subscribe here: https://lnk.bio/vizcomicofficial
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vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
APPARENTLY it costs the NHS over £300,000 a year to remove foreign objects from people's rectums. Why aren't we removing British objects instead? Was Brexit all for nothing? Gerry Paton, London
February 9, 2026 at 11:06 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
February 9, 2026 at 4:02 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
HATS OFF to the Chumbawamba lads for their admirable resilience in the face of adversity. Last Friday, whilst ripped to the tits on a cocktail of whisky, lager and cider, I was myself "knocked down » by a nightclub bouncer. But unlike our erstwhile anarchist popsters, I didn't "get up again", and remained prostrate until the paramedics arrived. Kevin Caswell-Jones, Wrexham
February 8, 2026 at 7:47 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
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February 8, 2026 at 12:00 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
February 7, 2026 at 4:00 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
WRAP a potato in silver foil and leave it in your house just in case your home catches fire and burns down. If the worst does happen, you will at least have a baked potato to look forward to. Derek Snowden, Bolton
February 6, 2026 at 6:37 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
February 5, 2026 at 6:02 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
February 5, 2026 at 4:02 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
WHAT A con these so-called "notebooks" are. They're just books without any words, and yet most of them cost much more than best-selling novels. If I was an author, I'd just be sending blank pages to my publisher and going down the pub. lan Shakespeare, Funtingdon-on-the-Funt
February 4, 2026 at 6:40 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
February 3, 2026 at 4:02 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
IF A MONKEY randomly hitting keys on a typewriter for an infinite amount of time will eventually write the complete works of Shakespeare, then it stands to reason that Shakespeare randomly twanging strings on a guitar for an infinite amount of time would have eventually written the complete works of The Monkees. Is there no end to that man's talents? Robobonobo, Melbourne
February 2, 2026 at 4:04 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
PRETEND you're a toothpaste model by constantly running your tongue over your top teeth whilst trying to maintain a smile. Ken Jenkins, Kings Langley
February 1, 2026 at 8:34 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
February 1, 2026 at 5:01 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
IF I didn't know what an egg was and someone told me it comes out of a chicken's arse and it's in a shell with a liquid inside containing a clear bit and a yellow bit, but when you cook it it goes hard and you can eat it, and then they asked me to try it, I think I'd tell them to fuck right off. Gav H, Hebden Bridge
January 31, 2026 at 9:56 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
DON'T know why I they call them seagulls. There's loads of the buggers down by the River Trent sewage outlet at Stoke Bardolph near Nottingham, and that's about as far from the sea as you can get in Britain. These ornithologists don't know what they're talking about. Tiorbjorn Xerxes, Stoke Bardolph
January 30, 2026 at 6:39 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
January 30, 2026 at 5:01 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz352bs
DEVIL Worshippers. Save money on heating bills by summoning the devil in the cold winter months, bringing the warmth from the fiery pit of Hell with him. Dave Vicarage, Toad in the Hole
January 29, 2026 at 9:41 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
There's a new issue (Viz 353) in the shops. Sorry no refunds.
A picture of the new issue, and the following letter (which - and we're not certain about this by any means, because we didn't pay a lot of attention in English classes at school - probably ought to read "If I were..." because it's a subjunctive or something): If I was a professional golfer, I'd just put the ball in the hole with my first shot instead of all that fannying about with fairways and bunkers and whatnot. Gary Ireland, Tauranga.
January 29, 2026 at 12:31 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz352bs
RECREATE the experience of Hampton Court Maze by simply passing through a British Airport duty. free area en route to the terminal. Nigel Downing, Colchester
January 28, 2026 at 9:06 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
January 28, 2026 at 5:01 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz352bs
The other week I received a text from the actor Michael Caine. It read: 'My name is Michael Caine,' followed by 'You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!' However it turned out that it was actually sent to me by my mate Ed. But I'm telling you, if you closed your eyes, you would swear it was a text sent from Michael Caine. D Williams, Donegal
January 26, 2026 at 9:33 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
January 26, 2026 at 5:01 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz352bs
Magazine Tip: Commuters. Get more value for money by sitting on top of the bus. Considering the circumference of the earth, you will travel 0.0000000013% further than your fellow passengers downstairs who have paid the same fare. Henry Broomhandle, Wales
January 25, 2026 at 7:47 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz352bs
I'D LOVE to be the person who reads out all the legal bollocks at the end of radio adverts, and I'd be dead good at it because I can speak really fast. And I'm even quicker when I've had a skinful. Does anyone know how I would go about getting a job like that? I work in a pork pie factory at the minute and I fucking hate it. Artisan Pesto, Leicester
January 24, 2026 at 9:03 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
January 24, 2026 at 5:01 PM