Author | Lightnews

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 12h

Right

あきののにあだなのみたつをみなへし花さかぬまはしる人ぞなき

In the autumn plains
Faithless rumours, alone, arise
Of my maidenflower—
But while she is not in bloom,
There’s no one knows, at all!

Tōin senzai awase 8

1

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 12h

Left -- Maidenflowers

うつろへるところありともをみなへしのべのふるさとわすれざらなむ

Faded
Spots they have, yet,
Maidenflowers
At an old estate among the fields
Never will I forget!

Tōin senzai awase 7

1

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 12h

Left – Incense grass

花のみはにほはざりけりゆきかへばくさのかうつるものにざりける

The flowers, alone,
Lack fragrance;
Back and forth,
The grasses’ incense
Shifts, indeed!

Tōin senzai awase 6

1

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 12h

Left – Asters

もろともにくさはうゑしをにしぞまづ秋のけぢかきいろはみえける

Together
Did we plant these blooms, and
In the west, the first of
Autumn’s intimate
Hues have appeared.

Tōin senzai awase 5

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 1d

I cannot really say that either is superior in the emotions they express, yet due to its reference to the deity, I should say that the Left wins.

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 1d

Both Left and Right are expressions of grievance, but the Left is merely concerned with ‘Since He manifested here / How many ages might have passed?’, while the Right simply wonders ‘How long will I remain’ while despising the mundane world.

1

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 1d

Right

よのなかをいとふこころはさきだちていつまでとまるうきみなるらむ

This mundane world
My heart does despise and
Would depart, but
How long will I remain,
Suffering as I am?

Nakatsuna
Sumiyoshi-sha uta'awase 128

1 1

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 1d

Left (Win)

みやゐしていくよへぬらむすみよしのまつふくかぜもかみさびにけり

Since He manifested here
How many ages might have passed?
At Sumiyoshi
The wind gusting through the pines, too,
Is touched with divinity...

Tsunemasa
Sumiyoshi-sha uta'awase 127

1 2

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 1d

From among my love poems

石ばしる山下たぎつ山川の心砕けてこひやわたらむ

Running o’er the rocks, and
Rushing down the mountain goes
A torrent—
Shattering my heart,
Will this love go on and on...

Kinkai wakashū 449
#wakapoem #wakapoetry #poem #love #Japan #lovepoem #和歌 #恋 #恋歌

2

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 2d

With that being said, the Left feels like a plea for good fortune, and the Right evokes impermanence. The matters are only distantly connected, and thus in terms of faults and merits they are equal.

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 2d

The Right has the poem ‘To what should I compare it? / Just as dawn is breaking’ in mind, and appears to have the charming conception of sorrowing over the face of Grand Duke Jiang appearing in the waves on the Wei River, but ‘if not that then what?’ sounds a bit overblown.

1

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 2d

The Left seems to be imagining something very unrealistic.

1

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 2d

Right

たとへけむなみはわがみにあらはれぬこぎゆくふねのあとはほかかは

Might I compare
The waves, which on my sorry self
Have made their mark, with
A boat rowing out, leaving
A wake, or if not that then what?

Chikashige
Sumiyoshi-sha uta'awase 126

1

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 2d

Left (Tie)

われもいかでよにながらへてすみよしのまつのちとせのゆくすゑもみむ

Somehow, I, too,
Would endure in this world, that
Sumiyoshi’s
Pine’s thousand years
End I would see!

Masahira
Sumiyoshi-sha uta'awase 125

1 1

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 2d

From among my love poems

山河のせぜの岩波わきかへりおのれひとりや身をくだくらん

In a mountain torrent’s
Rapids, wave upon the rocks
Burst and return—
Is is to be me, alone,
Whose very flesh is shattered?

Kinkai wakashū 448
#wakapoem #wakapoetry #poem #love #Japan #lovepoem #和歌 #恋 #恋歌

1

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 3d

In addition, is the conception of wanting the deity’s aid for the return? This sounds rather capricious. The Left has a pleasant configuration, and thus it should win.

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 3d

The Right sounds elegant in style, but saying, ‘On returning to the capital / Happy memories, I would have!’ could be saying that the memories are of the return to the capital itself, and I don’t feel this matches with the initial part of the poem.

1

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 3d

The Left appears to have pleasant configuration and diction, saying ‘Entangled between the waves, / A fisherman’s torch’. Using ‘faintly’ and then concluding with ‘fisherman’s torch’ is extremely charming, but I do wonder about describing a person’s passage through the world as ‘faint’.

1

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 3d

Right

すみよしのなをたのみこししるしありてかへるみやこにおもひいでもがな

In Sumiyoshi’s
Name did I place my trust—
Had it some effect then
On returning to the capital
Happy memories, I would have!

Takanobu
Sumiyoshi-sha uta'awase 124

1

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 3d

Left (Win)

ほのかにてあるかなきかにすぐるみやなみまにまがふあまのいさりび

Faintly,
Uncertain if I’m here or not
Do I pass through?
Entangled between the waves,
A fisherman’s torch.

Lord Suetsune
Sumiyoshi-sha uta'awase 123

1 1

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 3d

From among my love poems

うきしづみはてはあわとぞ成りぬべき瀬瀬の岩波身をくだきつつ

Rising and then sinking,
In the end, mere foam
Must they become,
The waves upon the rocks among the rapids:
Ever shattered is my very flesh…

Kinkai wakashū 447
#wakapoem #wakapoetry #poem #love #Japan #lovepoem #和歌 #恋 #恋歌

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 4d

The poem of the Right begins with ‘In Suminoe’ and then has ‘Muddy waters grows’, linking the particular shore with the content. The Right should win.

1

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 4d

The poem of the Left appears to have an elegant sequence, saying, ‘This cruel world my thoughts / Occupying’, but the speaker does not appear to be particularly thinking of themselves—they are simply reflecting on the transience of this world and that’s how it is.

1

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 4d

Right (Win)

すみのえのうきにおひたるしをれあしをなみひきたてよかみのめぐみに

In Suminoe’s
Muddy waters grows,
Languishing, a reed:
O, waves, lift it upright!
To receive the deity’s blessing…

Lord Michichika
Sumiyoshi-sha uta'awase 122

1 1

Thomas McAuley @wakapoet.bsky.social · 4d

Left

ねざめしてうきよをおもひあはすればまどろむゆめにかはらざりけり

When I awake, with
This cruel world my thoughts
Occupying,
The dream that filled my doze
Differed not at all…

Hyōenokami
Sumiyoshi-sha uta'awase 121

1 1