Bill Fogarty
@wjfog.bsky.social
TODAY IS NATIONAL BARTENDER DAY!
The last time I was in a bar I ordered Rum and Coke. The bartender asked if Pepsi was ok. I said sure.
So he made me a Pepsi and Coke.
The last time I was in a bar I ordered Rum and Coke. The bartender asked if Pepsi was ok. I said sure.
So he made me a Pepsi and Coke.
December 5, 2025 at 3:15 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL BARTENDER DAY!
The last time I was in a bar I ordered Rum and Coke. The bartender asked if Pepsi was ok. I said sure.
So he made me a Pepsi and Coke.
The last time I was in a bar I ordered Rum and Coke. The bartender asked if Pepsi was ok. I said sure.
So he made me a Pepsi and Coke.
TODAY IS SANTA'S LIST DAY!
Santa does a lot of things to determine which list you are on, the Naughty List or the Nice List. He has even been reading all your social media posts.
Most of you are getting dictionaries for Christmas.
Santa does a lot of things to determine which list you are on, the Naughty List or the Nice List. He has even been reading all your social media posts.
Most of you are getting dictionaries for Christmas.
December 4, 2025 at 2:04 PM
TODAY IS SANTA'S LIST DAY!
Santa does a lot of things to determine which list you are on, the Naughty List or the Nice List. He has even been reading all your social media posts.
Most of you are getting dictionaries for Christmas.
Santa does a lot of things to determine which list you are on, the Naughty List or the Nice List. He has even been reading all your social media posts.
Most of you are getting dictionaries for Christmas.
TODAY IS NATIONAL ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD DAY!
My wife thinks it will be expensive to replace our roof. I told her that I thought the roofer would say it was free. When she asked why, I told her that the roof, after all, was "on the house."
My wife thinks it will be expensive to replace our roof. I told her that I thought the roofer would say it was free. When she asked why, I told her that the roof, after all, was "on the house."
December 3, 2025 at 5:43 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD DAY!
My wife thinks it will be expensive to replace our roof. I told her that I thought the roofer would say it was free. When she asked why, I told her that the roof, after all, was "on the house."
My wife thinks it will be expensive to replace our roof. I told her that I thought the roofer would say it was free. When she asked why, I told her that the roof, after all, was "on the house."
TODAY IS NATIONAL MUTT DAY!
My wife told me she had adopted a pure-bred German shepherd, retired police dog. The dog she brought into the house, however, was (to be kind) a mutt.
When I said so, she replied, "You don't understand. He's undercover."
My wife told me she had adopted a pure-bred German shepherd, retired police dog. The dog she brought into the house, however, was (to be kind) a mutt.
When I said so, she replied, "You don't understand. He's undercover."
December 2, 2025 at 5:36 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL MUTT DAY!
My wife told me she had adopted a pure-bred German shepherd, retired police dog. The dog she brought into the house, however, was (to be kind) a mutt.
When I said so, she replied, "You don't understand. He's undercover."
My wife told me she had adopted a pure-bred German shepherd, retired police dog. The dog she brought into the house, however, was (to be kind) a mutt.
When I said so, she replied, "You don't understand. He's undercover."
TODAY IS NATIONAL EAT A RED APPLE DAY!
My Grandma always used to say, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
I don't know if it's true or one of Granny's myths.
My Grandma always used to say, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
I don't know if it's true or one of Granny's myths.
December 1, 2025 at 5:11 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL EAT A RED APPLE DAY!
My Grandma always used to say, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
I don't know if it's true or one of Granny's myths.
My Grandma always used to say, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
I don't know if it's true or one of Granny's myths.
TODAY IS NATIONAL SECONDHAND SUNDAY!
Wearing a second hand hairpiece may seem kind of gross but it's a small price toupee.
Wearing a second hand hairpiece may seem kind of gross but it's a small price toupee.
December 1, 2025 at 2:52 AM
TODAY IS NATIONAL SECONDHAND SUNDAY!
Wearing a second hand hairpiece may seem kind of gross but it's a small price toupee.
Wearing a second hand hairpiece may seem kind of gross but it's a small price toupee.
TODAY IS ELECTRONIC GREETINGS DAY!
I think it's funny when I get e-mail from my southern family. I get to Reply Y'all.
I think it's funny when I get e-mail from my southern family. I get to Reply Y'all.
November 30, 2025 at 1:48 AM
TODAY IS ELECTRONIC GREETINGS DAY!
I think it's funny when I get e-mail from my southern family. I get to Reply Y'all.
I think it's funny when I get e-mail from my southern family. I get to Reply Y'all.
TODAY IS NATIONAL ALAN DAY, THE DAY WE CELEBRATE ALANS, ALENS, ALLENS, ALLANS, AND ALL OTHERS WHO IDENTIFY AS AN ALAN.
I wonder if I met an alien with no eyes, would he be an alen?
I wonder if I met an alien with no eyes, would he be an alen?
November 29, 2025 at 2:54 AM
TODAY IS NATIONAL ALAN DAY, THE DAY WE CELEBRATE ALANS, ALENS, ALLENS, ALLANS, AND ALL OTHERS WHO IDENTIFY AS AN ALAN.
I wonder if I met an alien with no eyes, would he be an alen?
I wonder if I met an alien with no eyes, would he be an alen?
TODAY IS THANKSGIVING!
If you have no family and are planning to stay home alone this Thanksgiving, please let me know.
I need to borrow some chairs.
If you have no family and are planning to stay home alone this Thanksgiving, please let me know.
I need to borrow some chairs.
November 27, 2025 at 5:26 PM
TODAY IS THANKSGIVING!
If you have no family and are planning to stay home alone this Thanksgiving, please let me know.
I need to borrow some chairs.
If you have no family and are planning to stay home alone this Thanksgiving, please let me know.
I need to borrow some chairs.
TODAY IS NATIONAL JUKEBOX DAY!
My favorite bar keeps their jukebox in the walk-in freezer so that it only plays cool records.
My favorite bar keeps their jukebox in the walk-in freezer so that it only plays cool records.
November 26, 2025 at 5:59 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL JUKEBOX DAY!
My favorite bar keeps their jukebox in the walk-in freezer so that it only plays cool records.
My favorite bar keeps their jukebox in the walk-in freezer so that it only plays cool records.
TODAY IS NATIONAL BLASE' DAY!
People say that it is important to know the difference between your and you're.
I really do not care at all.
Their, I said it!
People say that it is important to know the difference between your and you're.
I really do not care at all.
Their, I said it!
November 25, 2025 at 5:47 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL BLASE' DAY!
People say that it is important to know the difference between your and you're.
I really do not care at all.
Their, I said it!
People say that it is important to know the difference between your and you're.
I really do not care at all.
Their, I said it!
TODAY IS NATIONAL SARDINES DAY!
I hadn't had sardines in a long time. But when I opened the tin, the sardines looked all dried out.
Maybe that's because they are supposed to be desiccated; maybe they went bad.
Either way, long time no sea.
I hadn't had sardines in a long time. But when I opened the tin, the sardines looked all dried out.
Maybe that's because they are supposed to be desiccated; maybe they went bad.
Either way, long time no sea.
November 24, 2025 at 4:46 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL SARDINES DAY!
I hadn't had sardines in a long time. But when I opened the tin, the sardines looked all dried out.
Maybe that's because they are supposed to be desiccated; maybe they went bad.
Either way, long time no sea.
I hadn't had sardines in a long time. But when I opened the tin, the sardines looked all dried out.
Maybe that's because they are supposed to be desiccated; maybe they went bad.
Either way, long time no sea.
TODAY IS NATIONAL ESPRESSO DAY!
A buddy of mine just told me that he is getting divorced. I asked him how he is doing and he said, "Fine. I drink espresso."
I asked him how espresso prepares him for divorce. He said they're both expensive and bitter.
A buddy of mine just told me that he is getting divorced. I asked him how he is doing and he said, "Fine. I drink espresso."
I asked him how espresso prepares him for divorce. He said they're both expensive and bitter.
November 23, 2025 at 7:14 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL ESPRESSO DAY!
A buddy of mine just told me that he is getting divorced. I asked him how he is doing and he said, "Fine. I drink espresso."
I asked him how espresso prepares him for divorce. He said they're both expensive and bitter.
A buddy of mine just told me that he is getting divorced. I asked him how he is doing and he said, "Fine. I drink espresso."
I asked him how espresso prepares him for divorce. He said they're both expensive and bitter.
TODAY IS NATIONAL CRANBERRY RELISH DAY!
My neighbor across from me invited me to his house for Thanksgiving. He told me to not bring anything. I brought some cranberry relish.
When he asked why I brought it over, I said, "Why did the cranberry relish cross the road? To get to the other sides!"
My neighbor across from me invited me to his house for Thanksgiving. He told me to not bring anything. I brought some cranberry relish.
When he asked why I brought it over, I said, "Why did the cranberry relish cross the road? To get to the other sides!"
November 22, 2025 at 8:09 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL CRANBERRY RELISH DAY!
My neighbor across from me invited me to his house for Thanksgiving. He told me to not bring anything. I brought some cranberry relish.
When he asked why I brought it over, I said, "Why did the cranberry relish cross the road? To get to the other sides!"
My neighbor across from me invited me to his house for Thanksgiving. He told me to not bring anything. I brought some cranberry relish.
When he asked why I brought it over, I said, "Why did the cranberry relish cross the road? To get to the other sides!"
TODAY IS NATIONAL STUFFING DAY!
I like to keep my Thanksgiving dinner simple: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and veggies.
Everything else is just gravy.
I like to keep my Thanksgiving dinner simple: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and veggies.
Everything else is just gravy.
November 21, 2025 at 2:54 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL STUFFING DAY!
I like to keep my Thanksgiving dinner simple: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and veggies.
Everything else is just gravy.
I like to keep my Thanksgiving dinner simple: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and veggies.
Everything else is just gravy.
TODAY IS NATIONAL ABSURDITY DAY!
Looking back on all of the jokes I have posted, I realized that half of them are puns, half are funny stories, and half are absurdities.
Looking back on all of the jokes I have posted, I realized that half of them are puns, half are funny stories, and half are absurdities.
November 20, 2025 at 2:43 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL ABSURDITY DAY!
Looking back on all of the jokes I have posted, I realized that half of them are puns, half are funny stories, and half are absurdities.
Looking back on all of the jokes I have posted, I realized that half of them are puns, half are funny stories, and half are absurdities.
TODAY IS NATIONAL PLAY MONOPOLY DAY!
I just found a monopoly set without instructions.
What are the chances?
I just found a monopoly set without instructions.
What are the chances?
November 19, 2025 at 11:41 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL PLAY MONOPOLY DAY!
I just found a monopoly set without instructions.
What are the chances?
I just found a monopoly set without instructions.
What are the chances?
TODAY IS NATIONAL PRINCESS DAY!
My daughter kept telling me to treat her like a princess.
So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French.
My daughter kept telling me to treat her like a princess.
So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French.
November 18, 2025 at 4:43 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL PRINCESS DAY!
My daughter kept telling me to treat her like a princess.
So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French.
My daughter kept telling me to treat her like a princess.
So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French.
TODAY IS NATIONAL HOMEMADE BREAD DAY!
I have lost about 10 pounds in the last month by putting homemade bread on top of my head.
It's a loaf-hat diet.
I have lost about 10 pounds in the last month by putting homemade bread on top of my head.
It's a loaf-hat diet.
November 17, 2025 at 8:14 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL HOMEMADE BREAD DAY!
I have lost about 10 pounds in the last month by putting homemade bread on top of my head.
It's a loaf-hat diet.
I have lost about 10 pounds in the last month by putting homemade bread on top of my head.
It's a loaf-hat diet.
TODAY IS NATIONAL CHECK YOUR WINDSHIELD WIPERS DAY!
I told my wife that I had gotten a new set of wipers for our 45 year old Ford Pinto.
She said that she thought that was a pretty good trade.
I told my wife that I had gotten a new set of wipers for our 45 year old Ford Pinto.
She said that she thought that was a pretty good trade.
November 16, 2025 at 9:19 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL CHECK YOUR WINDSHIELD WIPERS DAY!
I told my wife that I had gotten a new set of wipers for our 45 year old Ford Pinto.
She said that she thought that was a pretty good trade.
I told my wife that I had gotten a new set of wipers for our 45 year old Ford Pinto.
She said that she thought that was a pretty good trade.
TODAY IS NATIONAL SEAT BELT DAY!
As a kid I had a hard time figuring out how to use a seat belt.
Then it just clicked.
As a kid I had a hard time figuring out how to use a seat belt.
Then it just clicked.
November 14, 2025 at 5:39 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL SEAT BELT DAY!
As a kid I had a hard time figuring out how to use a seat belt.
Then it just clicked.
As a kid I had a hard time figuring out how to use a seat belt.
Then it just clicked.
TODAY IS NATIONAL INDIAN PUDDING DAY!
Indian Pudding is a cornmeal based dessert pudding.
Corn based dishes are popular around Halloween because corn is eerie.
Indian Pudding is a cornmeal based dessert pudding.
Corn based dishes are popular around Halloween because corn is eerie.
November 13, 2025 at 5:18 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL INDIAN PUDDING DAY!
Indian Pudding is a cornmeal based dessert pudding.
Corn based dishes are popular around Halloween because corn is eerie.
Indian Pudding is a cornmeal based dessert pudding.
Corn based dishes are popular around Halloween because corn is eerie.
TODAY IS NATIONAL PIZZA WITH THE WORKS EXCEPT ANCHOVIES DAY!
No one trusts a pizza with anchovies; they're fishy.
No one trusts a pizza with anchovies; they're fishy.
November 12, 2025 at 6:38 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL PIZZA WITH THE WORKS EXCEPT ANCHOVIES DAY!
No one trusts a pizza with anchovies; they're fishy.
No one trusts a pizza with anchovies; they're fishy.
TODAY IS NATIONAL SUNDAE DAY!
What's the difference between mass and weight?
Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday.
Weight is where sundaes go on Catholics.
What's the difference between mass and weight?
Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday.
Weight is where sundaes go on Catholics.
November 11, 2025 at 3:54 PM
TODAY IS NATIONAL SUNDAE DAY!
What's the difference between mass and weight?
Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday.
Weight is where sundaes go on Catholics.
What's the difference between mass and weight?
Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday.
Weight is where sundaes go on Catholics.
TODAY IS THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS BIRTHDAY!
I understand that those who try to join the Marines and who are not good enough are sent to the Navy.
Because they are sub-marines.
I understand that those who try to join the Marines and who are not good enough are sent to the Navy.
Because they are sub-marines.
November 10, 2025 at 9:23 PM
TODAY IS THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS BIRTHDAY!
I understand that those who try to join the Marines and who are not good enough are sent to the Navy.
Because they are sub-marines.
I understand that those who try to join the Marines and who are not good enough are sent to the Navy.
Because they are sub-marines.