Wonder Park
@wonderpark.bsky.social
2K followers 7.7K following 310 posts
Welcome to Wonder Park! The best amusement park 35 minutes too far from you. Wonder Park; Half the Magic, Double the Price. Hush-Hush Sightings: https://shorturl.at/9X96b
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wonderpark.bsky.social
Under new management! Which is the same management two managements ago. Either way, WE’RE BACK BITCHES!
wonderpark.bsky.social
Concert on the Main Street Stage brought to you by Ozempic located next to the Main Street Fountain brought to you by Surge.
wonderpark.bsky.social
Wanna see some crazy shit? Come wander the park during a full moon.
wonderpark.bsky.social
Have you signed up for our Wonder Card yet? It entitles you to such perks as:
• 1st in line(for the bathrooms)
• Extra mayo cube each order
• Meet & Greet with Hush-Hush(wouldn’t recommend)
• Speed dating with our single team members
• And more! (ish)

Get yours at the Guest Info Desk today!
wonderpark.bsky.social
Guess you gotta start with inappropriate emails before moving on to writing Shakespeare…
wonderpark.bsky.social
Somehow the BDSM Monkeys logged into our email system and started sending threatening emails to all our guests. If you got one please ignore.
wonderpark.bsky.social
Somehow the BDSM Monkeys logged into our email system and started sending threatening emails to all our guests. If you got one please ignore.
wonderpark.bsky.social
WTF is wrong with you people?! It’s the Break Dancing Silly Monkeys Show (BDSM). Y’all should be ashamed. This is a FAMILY park.
wonderpark.bsky.social
The BDSM Show is canceled until someone returns the sack of bananas they stole from backstage.
wonderpark.bsky.social
The BDSM Show is canceled until someone returns the sack of bananas they stole from backstage.
wonderpark.bsky.social
We hate to spread gossip but Greeneville Zoo sends us all their untamable feral monkeys for our Wonder Park Circus Show.
greenevillezoo.bsky.social
We also hate to spread gossip, but we heard that all of Redville's ticket sales fund a laundromat that burned down 5 years ago.
redvillezoo.bsky.social
We hate to spread gossip, but we heard that Greeneville's Giant Andean Condor Is just a fat crow.
wonderpark.bsky.social
Anyone planning to come today or can we take the day off?
wonderpark.bsky.social
Ok we think Hush-Hush is done. He just set the phone down and walked out silently.
wonderpark.bsky.social
lost. found. lost again
wonderpark.bsky.social
screams taste different in the rain
wonderpark.bsky.social
i counted 12 there should be 13
wonderpark.bsky.social
The cotton candy man knows too much
wonderpark.bsky.social
Oh, doesn’t look like he’s giving us a choice. Buckle up.
wonderpark.bsky.social
So… Hush-Hush has asked to run our socials today and we’re not sure what to do.
wonderpark.bsky.social
So… Hush-Hush has asked to run our socials today and we’re not sure what to do.
wonderpark.bsky.social
How dare you! We would NEVER corn dog Biscuit.
wonderpark.bsky.social
To the person who lost their emotional support dog near the food court. He’s ours now, he’s too cute and he’s a good boy.
wonderpark.bsky.social
Depends who’s asking…
wonderpark.bsky.social
Hush-Hush has no origin, he is. He was. He always will be.
wonderpark.bsky.social
I mean, a few have caught fire over the years but I wouldn’t recommend continuing to cook them, probably a safety issue.