Word Layman
@wordlayman.bsky.social
12 followers 1 following 33 posts
All about puns, word play, and dad jokes. Expect far-fetched jokes that may or may not be funny.
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wordlayman.bsky.social
Have you heard about the insect that sells t-shirts at every concert?
It is a travelling merch ant.
wordlayman.bsky.social
Enjoying some nice Oolong tea right now. You gotta be careful to only steep it for a minute or less. Any longer, and it is Toolong.
wordlayman.bsky.social
The baking aisle is too complicated for me. There is 'all-purpose/'plain', 'high gluten'/'strong', 'wholemeal' and the naming is so confusing.

It would be much more straightforward without the floury language.

Fun-fact: I found out that flour naming conventions differ by country A LOT: w.wiki/FQFs
Wheat flour - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
wordlayman.bsky.social
Cuneiform is an ancient writing system using wedge-shaped impressions, like these: 𒂠𒀭 𒋠𒀭𒋀 𒋀𒊠𒀀𒋠𒊀𒇠𒀀𒋀𒄀

That makes those who study it cuneilinguists.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuneiform
Cuneiform - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
wordlayman.bsky.social
Shout out to baked potatoes with rosemary. I think they're a thyme-less classic.
wordlayman.bsky.social
The bee says it likes all its relatives equally, but the bee's favourite is its sister's daughter.

That girl is the bee's niece.
wordlayman.bsky.social
Today I was called a cutie, but it is all an act; a mere character I am playing out of boredom.
I am a char cutie, bored.

Sorry for the ham-fisted pun, I know it is cheesy. I should stop before the puns turn sour, dough.
wordlayman.bsky.social
Attention chess beginners, be careful with those tower-looking pieces. Try to avoid making rook-ie mistakes.
wordlayman.bsky.social
If you make friends at Alcoholics Anonymous, are they your rehabibis?
wordlayman.bsky.social
Arnold said "I'll be back", but do an apprenticeship at a German bakery and you'll be Bäcker.
wordlayman.bsky.social
If I need a gasket for a French water pipe, do I ask the shop for an eaux-ring?
wordlayman.bsky.social
Did you see the musical based on 'Mars Attacks!' (1996)? It's a bit weird at first, but grows on you. It's an ack-choired taste.
wordlayman.bsky.social
I heard that in some monarchies, the throne always went to the most mature and careful child. It was called 'heiring on the side of caution'.
wordlayman.bsky.social
Be careful with police in hospitals, they might put you under cardiac arrest. And then you might go to cardiac prison, and maybe find love, but we will all know how it ends. There are lots of broken hearts in cardiac prison.
wordlayman.bsky.social
I received strongly mixed feedback on my new sunglasses. They are polarizing glasses.
wordlayman.bsky.social
The most disgusting ingredient in my kitchen must be starch. It is truly thickening.
wordlayman.bsky.social
No weekend is complete without some nice scrambled eggs with cheese. It is vegan cheese though, so I believe I may only call it an Omelette du Homage.
wordlayman.bsky.social
Today's cooking was a big W

That is to say, it got a double eww.
wordlayman.bsky.social
Did you know there was a famously depressing bard group with the hit songs 'Landing in Llundain' and 'Kryptonite'? They were called Tudor's Down.
wordlayman.bsky.social
When introducing myself I always mention my metal stamp collection. It makes a good impression.
wordlayman.bsky.social
If I sold prostheteses for docked boxers, would I be a retailer?
wordlayman.bsky.social
Are prisons on Creta made of con-cretes?
wordlayman.bsky.social
I thought choosing new feathers for my pillow would cheer me up, but it just has me feeling down.
wordlayman.bsky.social
In an ironic twist of gardening nomenclature, a Ha-Ha requires a depression.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ha-ha
Ha-ha - Wikipedia
en.m.wikipedia.org
wordlayman.bsky.social
You do not have to like it, but I find this one hyspherical