Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available

@xandriart.bsky.social

14 followers 21 following 140 posts

My name is Xandri and I do Art. 26. 🔞 18+ followers only, please! Safe For Work, But Not Sane. Commissions open indefinitely for all mediums I can do! See Carrd for links and more info as well as other sites--> https://xandriii.carrd.co/

xandriii.carrd.co

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · May 4

#artcommissions #commissionsopen #digitalart #traditionalart #handmadedoll #ooakdoll

My commissions are open indefinitely for all mediums I can do, including digital sketches, traditional media and handmade dolls! Please see my Carrd for more info!
xandriii.carrd.co#commissions

ALiE Info :-)

Xandri's carrd

xandriii.carrd.co

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 11d

and time and be patient because I know my own experience, and I know how long it takes me to finally come around and I would also want that same grace, because I fear that people secretly start to hate me just because it takes me so long and I'm usually absent for so long. 🙁

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 11d

believe in what you're making and know there's an audience for it out there, but just feel devalued instead. I've felt that a lot.

For me on a personal level, I try to be of the mind that as long as you put it out there, the people who are meant to find it will. I just want to give people grace

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 11d

everything keeps piling up and I'm watching it all slip from me while I can barely get dressed to go to work, or think about my own projects.

Maybe it's just a "me" problem. I'm also not in the business of telling people how to feel, and I think it's normal and valid to be disappointed when you

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 11d

and barely have the reserves left to become engrossed in things, even if they'd like to.

I follow so many cool artists and friends, but I barely have the time or energy to keep up with what they're doing and I feel terrible about it. I want to catch up eventually, it just feels like-

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 11d

As much as I wish I got more feedback on my work, I will never begrudge anyone for "not paying attention."

I don't think it's that people are "not paying attention", or are unwilling to. I think it's that most people are tired, overworked and overwhelmed by media like I am,

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 11d

That we're not allowed to be happy or healthy, only survive enough to keep suffering and watch ourselves and everything we love die. Only to watch the train keep barreling towards us.

I'll be okay. I just really don't like my life right now.

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 11d

stupid like this, but I did it. I only wish that I could re-learn how to draw freely as much as I used to. I feel so stiff and unsure.

Sometimes when I think about how things have gone, it truly feels like me and my family are cursed, for lack of a better word.

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 11d

I'm not where I want to be, but at this point, even being able to doodle or practice at all is a feat and I think it's kind of incredible that a work wouldn't even exist otherwise, but I did it and it's something I made. I barely have the time to even do something small and

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 11d

I can't save anything because it all goes to keeping my family afloat and surviving another day. I should be grateful because I know it could be worse, and it has been worse before.

One thing I can say is that my circumstances have shifted my perspective on my own self-expectations.

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 11d

even bringing my sketch book to work with me. I can't say that it hasn't helped a bit, it has, but even then I don't always have the time when I'm being rushed. I feel like I'm only working to uphold the status quo, and not for the life that I actually want to live.

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 11d

but being able to sit down and pour time into any skill/creative endeavor is a gift. It's amazing to be able to do it at all, because you don't know how easily it can be taken away.

I keep trying to find workarounds that would enable me to have more time and draw where I can,

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 11d

I miss my cat. And now I'm sick, and still having to work.

To anyone else who pursues art of any kind- please don't take it for granted. I know that's easy to do, and you might even feel dissatisfied with where you currently are,

1 1

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 11d

eating all my time and energy, ruling my life. One that took away my last moments with my cat, and all the time I could've spent with him prior.

I'm tired. I'm overworked. My body is sore. My hands don't feel the same. The nerves in my hands and fingers pinch sometimes.

1 1

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 11d

Haven't had much time to do it at all though. I'm struggling to even picture what kind of artist I want to be anymore because it feels like everything is being drained out of me, and I feel numb.

I'm thankful for my job. But I'm also tired of working one that is destroying my body,

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 11d

art roundup for September 2025

I can still draw. My hands hurt when I do it, but by George, I can still draw.
Small warning for negativity and venting in thread ->
#artsummary #septemberartsummary

two glowing sketches of fantasy creatures laid over an MS Paint drawing of a smiley face figure looking through a window, while a shadowy figure screams and hides under a table, itself overlaid over a blue backdrop.

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 21d

and don't wait to get them checked by a vet, even if there doesn't seem to be a problem yet.

I love you, Bear.

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 21d

I'm always going to think that he deserved better. I wish I could've done so much more for him. I wish that my job hadn't taken me away from him so much. For any other pet parents out there, the only takeaway I can give you is to appreciate your babies and spend as much time as possible with them,

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 21d

My Mom's favorite anecdote about him is that he would sit in my lap and she would try to talk to him, but he would only look up at me as if to say "why is she talking to me?" and ignore her. He also had a very nasally meow, and always complained at me to pick him up and put him on my bed.

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 21d

and there's a part of me that feels like my job took my cat away from me. I wish that I could've spent more time with him.

I was his human. He didn't really like anyone else except for me.

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 21d

Because he was always lazy and kept to himself, I didn't notice the signs soon enough that something might be wrong. He went downhill so fast in those last few days. I feel deeply frustrated that my schedule and finances didn't align sooner to get him checked up,

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 21d

He liked to play in short bursts, but spent most of his time sleeping or cuddling. His father was a maine coon, and he loved to have his long hair brushed.

I always tried to protect him, and I'm always going to wonder what I could've done differently for him.

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 21d

Bear was born into a litter of 5, 3 of which were dwarves by a genetic defect including him. His siblings are no longer with us, including his fellow dwarf sister Meka and dwarf brother Desmond. Bear was smaller than a normal cat and as he got older, stopped being very active.

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 21d

and he looked as if he had simply fallen asleep when I got home.

Bear has been a cornerstone of my world for 7+ years. Sometimes when I wake up or go into my room, I still half expect to see a black lump beside me, on my bed or on the floor, cussing at me, and it hits me all over again.

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 21d

I got the news while I was at work. For a couple days before that, he had been acting strange and withdrawn. The night before, I felt a hard lump in his gut. We planned to get him to the vet, but it was too late. I made him comfortable before I went to work that day,

🔞 Xandri Art, comms available @xandriart.bsky.social · 21d

+ animal death, pet death +
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
My beloved Bear passed away on September 14th, 2025.
#bear #mycats

edit of a black cat against a cloudy sky with a rainbow, and text that reads "Bear, February 24th 2018 to September 14th 2025".

collage of photos of a stout black cat with large yellow eyes.

1 1