meditated in the park. underlined passages in the Hagakure. thought about death.

"i have an hour and a half before bed, do i really want to spend it zoning out watching Youtube and playing a non-engaging game?"

"your ancient predecessors spent a few hours hunting and working before spending the rest of the day socializing and relaxing. fuck it."

this song is a great reminder and meditation on rhw subject of entropy. nothing lasts, nothing stays, this is a law of the universe. good times will give way to bad, but also know that bad times can't stay forever. hang onto your memories and keep moving.

youtu.be/mZOkLMXXax4?...

#louiscole

i skipped a few days. thanksgiving was busy.

[ahem]

counting the ways that i am lucky to live now, in relative ease, comfort and plenty. reflecting on going to a restaurant and having a small spread of delicacies prepared for us, clean and fresh, relatively cheap. like kings of old.

some days it's going to be meditation, petting my dogs, and taking a long walk in the park. some days it's going to be getting high as shit and playing Vampire Survivors for three hours. I WILL DO WHAT WORKS.

i should have mentioned that these are not necessarily all going to be healthy coping methods. needs must when the devil drives. strap it on.

11/25: therapy and drinking (i recommend one or the other, unless you're me, then both is good)

11/24: blasting drum and bass as i put up xmas lights

i don't plan to do much public journaling for a while. i no longer feel the need to share the details of my mental health pilgrimage with the wider world. so i'm going to use this account for the specific purpose of recording what i'm doing to deal with The Situation, trying to post once a day.

for the record, again, i resent having to click the "i am human" check box.

i am not, and you know it, internet.