I’m gonna get put on a government watch list for this one I just know it

in the deepest pits
I found him there, glacier eyes
blinking back at me.

(eyes like icebergs and I,
an unsuspecting vessel
tear me apart so I can sink at your feet.)

and I will miss your crooked smile.
and I will miss your sea glass eyes and
your tousled hair.
and I will miss the dimple in your cheeks
when you bare your teeth
at me and
I will miss your crooked smile.

when I leave this earth, please
think
to yourself, in the
darkest moments.

"she
would want me to be
kind."

I hit every
green light on hollywood blvd
from western to
la brea.

a statistical improbability.
just like us.

a chorus of silence or
a thousand tiny
cuts;
i've chosen
both
poisons this time.

turns out

the darkness has teeth.

no one
not one
single
person

knows what to do
with

the me that i've become, eaten
up by
the grief of who
i've been.

QUICK TURN ON THE TV!!!!

the answer
is in
the
telling.

this
sanity cocktail
delivers
me
to the

end.

how
will I ever live
with those words
you left

hanging there
where your
smile

should
be.