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213-258-2858.bsky.social
Vault Boy
@213-258-2858.bsky.social
740 followers 310 following 390 posts
Looking for just the right Vault for your post-apocalyptic needs?
Call 1-213-25-Vault

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213-258-2858.bsky.social
Someone threw a jar of mayo at me... I was, like, what the Hellman?

#dadjoke
January 6, 2026 at 1:27 AM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
I named my horse "mayo"... because mayo neighs.

#dadjoke
January 2, 2026 at 6:45 PM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
They finally published my book on the history of herbs.... frankly, it's about thyme.

#dadjoky
January 1, 2026 at 10:11 PM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea? Denis.

#dadjoke
December 31, 2025 at 6:30 PM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
It's hard to say what my wife does, she sells sea shells by the sea shore.

#dadjoke
December 30, 2025 at 5:01 PM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
Every year hundreds of children are shipped off to mime school... never to be heard from again.

#dadjoke
December 26, 2025 at 4:03 AM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
I can't stop eating dates. - Jeffery Dahmer (probably)

#dadjoke
December 23, 2025 at 7:57 PM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
Every machine in the coin factory broke down all of a sudden without explanation... it doesn’t make any cents.

#dadjoke
December 22, 2025 at 11:40 AM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
A recent survey revealed 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy.

#dadjoke
December 21, 2025 at 12:03 PM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
I remember being disappointed the first time I tried scotch and it did not taste like butterscotch AT ALL.

#dadjoke
December 19, 2025 at 3:43 PM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
I really love my furniture... me and my recliner go way back.

#dadjoke
December 19, 2025 at 5:06 AM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
What’s a New Year’s resolution? Something that goes in one year and out the other. Happy New Year!

#dadjoke
December 17, 2025 at 6:19 PM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
Did you know the best Christmas gift is a broken drum... you just can't beat it! Merry Christmas!

#dadjoke
December 17, 2025 at 12:42 AM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
The person who invented perforated lines thought it was a tearable idea.

#dadjoke
December 16, 2025 at 12:58 AM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
Tequila may not fix your life... but it's worth a shot .

#dadjoke
December 12, 2025 at 2:14 PM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
Do you think if John Goodman played every role in a movie they'd have to call it "A Few Goodmen"?

#dadjoke
December 11, 2025 at 1:11 PM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
I really admire the person who invented the word queue... it's just "q" with a bunch of silent letters waiting in line.

#dadjoke
December 10, 2025 at 11:35 PM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
If you make a hole in a net... there will be fewer holes in the net.

#dadjoke
December 8, 2025 at 7:50 PM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
This furniture store keeps emailing me, all I wanted was one night stand.

#dadjoke
December 5, 2025 at 9:28 PM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
Bacon is 73% fat and very salty... me too bacon, me too.

#dadjoke
December 4, 2025 at 8:14 PM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
I'm suspicious of trees on sunny days... they look pretty shady.

#dadjoke
December 3, 2025 at 7:12 PM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
No matter how much you push the envelope... It will always be stationary.

#dadjoke
December 2, 2025 at 9:19 PM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
Prime Day is just another fake holiday made up by big Shopping to sell more stuff.

#dadjoke
December 1, 2025 at 9:18 AM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
I really want to buy one of those supermarket checkout dividers, but the cashier keeps putting it back.

#dadjoke
November 28, 2025 at 1:00 PM
213-258-2858.bsky.social
How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas... he felt his presents.

#dadjoke
November 26, 2025 at 7:15 PM