If your punk band doesn’t change its name to The Butthole Lazers; what are you even doing?

1. Took a hit of K
2. Wore sunglasses indoors
3. Waived around a chainsaw
4. Ignored child’s medical crisis;
5. Who am I kidding, way more K. Like how the fuck am I even alive?

Paul and Linda McCartney’s really ripping lentil soup recipe.

3. Add the garlic &parsley and stir. Cook 1 more minute until fragrant. Season with salt& pepper.
4. Add the lentils &stir. Add the broth & bay leaf. Bring to a boil and cover.
5. Reduce to a simmer. Cook according to the lentils’ package directions. Whole green lentils typically take 40-45 minutes.

1. Add the oil to a medium pot and heat over medium heat.
2. Add the onion, carrot, and celery and stir. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the onion is mostly translucent (about 5 minutes).
3. Add the garlic and parsley and stir. Cook 1 more minute until fragrant. Season with salt and pepper.

1. And so I wake in the morning and
2. I step outside
3. And I take deep breath and I get real high
4. And I scream from the top of my lungs
5. What's goin' on?

Who is she running against each time?

Why someone not on Spence’s board feels entitled to complain. Film at 11.

I thought that headline was real, for a moment. Then I saw the source. So not real, but plausible. Highly plausible. Highly.